


Everything's Jake

by alyjude_sideburns



Series: Everything's Jake Series [1]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, Epic, First Time, Halloween, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-Series, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:10:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 69,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyjude_sideburns/pseuds/alyjude_sideburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-series, Blair has become a detective and decides to move out of the loft.  That decision changes his life forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything's Jake

**Author's Note:**

> More thanks than I can express to welp :) for whom this was written. And yes, the nickname 'welp' is used in the story and is not spelled incorrectly. :)
> 
> Warning: For those who enjoy being spoiled (like me) jump to the end of the story for the caveat and warnings.
> 
> Originally published in 2000, revised in 2011

  **Everything's Jake by Alyjude**  


 

Six weeks and it was still strange.  
  
Strange to turn right onto Mitchell Ave instead of left. Extremely strange to have a garage in which to park the Volvo and stranger still to walk through an archway and into a quiet garden courtyard with only the sounds of birds, a gurgling waterfall spilling into a pond and the occasional laughter or closing door.  
  
It was odd to have no stairs or elevator either. He simply had to walk into the courtyard from the rear, turn right, step up and he was at his front door. His large, oak door with etched glass and black wrought-iron fixtures.  
  
But the final oddity was entering this paradise alone. To open the door into his own home; a home with no James Joseph Ellison by his side, or inside or soon to be arriving. Stepping into the small foyer, he was once again astounded by the quiet emptiness. Not void of the feeling of home, but empty of Jim Ellison--of his presence.  
  
And Blair had never realized how noisy 852 Prospect had been. How the sound of the elevator had always been just outside his consciousness, or how the traffic noise or the sounds of the city just beyond the large windows had always been a incessant, if slightly discordant symphony. And the neighbors, the constant flow of comings and goings, of people living their lives around them.  
  
It had taken him time to figure out what was missing, besides the obvious, but once he'd recognized the absence of sound, he'd relaxed. Smiled even, because his first thought had been that Jim wouldn't need the white noise generators here--if he were here.  
  
And it wasn't as if life didn't happen at 212 Mission Lane; it did. But the building that he now called home, once a single family dwelling, if you can call a mansion a single family dwelling, had been cleverly remodeled to encompass several tenants without losing its air of privacy, solitude or tranquility.  
  
The Anjasmayo had been built along the lines of a Spanish hacienda, with the traditional courtyard in the center and the building surrounding it. The original owners, Kenneth and Gwendolyn Porter, had built it in the twenties, having secured their fortune in the mines of Canada. Unfortunately, the fortune had evaporated in the forties and, with Kenneth Porter's death, Gwendolyn Porter had put her considerable talents to work and had their home cleverly remodeled as an apartment building. The Anjasmayo was, in fact, one of the most brilliantly designed apartment buildings in Cascade.  
  
As the building stood now, there were twelve apartments, six downstairs, six upstairs and only two shared a common wall with a neighbor. In addition, the layout was such that no apartment dweller had anyone directly overhead, or underfoot.  
  
The only noise that could really be heard was the occasional closing of a door, low voices or unhurried footsteps; always muted by the ingenious design.  
  
Today the building was still owned by a Porter: Karen Porter, Kenneth and Gwendolyn's daughter-in-law. She'd inherited the building after the death of her husband, Kenneth Porter Jr, in 1996.  
  
Blair had found the building by sheer luck, while temporarily partnered with Megan Connor; Jim being stuck in court. The two of them had headed out to collect a statement from a witness who lived in the old Park District and, as they'd exited the witness' home, Blair had noted the 'studio apartment available' sign on the building opposite.  
  
Leaving Connor in the car, he'd jogged across the quiet, tree-lined street and entered the lobby through the large double doors.  
  
Once inside, he'd found the typical lobby--almost. To the right, the required mailboxes with intercom buttons, but to the left, a painting of the home as it had stood in the twenties. Ahead of him, a wrought iron gate and, beyond that, a tantalizing peek at the beauty that lay beyond. On the gate hung a small placard informing anyone who was interested in renting that all they had to do was buzz #1 between the hours of 10 am and 4 pm.  
  
As the placard advised, Blair had buzzed, his heart sinking at the thought of what an apartment in such a building must cost. Less than two minutes later, a woman entered, hand outstretched.  
  
Karen Porter was sixty, petite with blonde bouncy curls only just beginning to go silver. She'd introduced herself as both landlord and owner, then had given him the bad news; the studio had been rented only the day before. She apologized for not changing the sign out front.  As Blair's face had fallen, she offered him some good news.  A two-bedroom that had been rented a week earlier was now available; the rental agreement having fallen through and would he like to see it?  Blair had been about to say no, that he hardly needed, nor could afford, a two-bedroom apartment when Karen had opened the gate and guided him into the courtyard.  
  
Blair had felt as if he'd just landed in Oz. The Oz belonging to Frank L. Baum as opposed to the Oz belonging to HBO. Before he'd been able to shake his head, Karen took his elbow and led him into the courtyard.  
  
His breath had actually caught in his throat at the quiet and serene beauty of the garden.  He listened in wonder as Karen pointed out the different trees and shrubs, and explained with pride that the pond and rock waterfall had been designed by her husband's mother and built by his father.  All the while she led him to a corner apartment.  
  
The apartment was being repainted she'd pointed out.  There were several covered pieces of furniture, including a king size bed, left behind by the previous tenant, who'd been suddenly transferred to Michigan.  Karen explained that if Blair wanted them, they were his.  
  
He'd followed her like a puppy, eyes widening at each bedroom, the dining room and kitchen, at the gracious design, the beamed ceilings, the ornate and hand carved moldings, the antique fixtures and the hardwood floor. The living room had one large window that looked out over the courtyard, and the bedrooms had large windows overlooking the park that butted up against the apartment property.  
  
As she'd shown him back into the living room, all hope died. There was no way he could afford it, just no way. But god, how he wanted it. It seemed if one had to give up the only real home they'd ever had, then they should find a place that could conceivably become a home. And he had.  
  
Karen had correctly read his disappointment and had tactfully asked about his price range. He'd explained student loans, about being a new detective, told her that one thousand was his limit and then had watched in surprise as she'd symbolically handed him the keys.  
  
Of course now he knew what a bargain he'd really found, and what a treasure Karen Porter was. He knew that she could have received twice what he was paying, but for her, the tenant was more important than the dollar figure, and she'd liked him instantly.  
  
So here he was. He took off his jacket, dropped it over the back of the couch, pulled off his holster and gun and immediately folded the strap over the firearm. He walked to the closet in the hall and put the gun the top shelf out of harm's way. He strolled back into the living room and, with the same surprise he'd shown every night for the last six weeks, he surveyed his home.  
  
The living room was still sparsely furnished but, thanks to his artifacts and artwork gracing the walls, anyone coming in would be fooled. A wheat colored, L-shaped couch took center stage, facing the stone fireplace, which was flanked on each side by already filled to the brim built-in bookshelves. A square coffee table in knotty pine sat in front of the couch and to the left, a comfortable, oversized cream-colored reading chair with ottoman and behind that, a floor lamp. A large, colorful area rug completed the picture.  
  
To get to the kitchen, Blair had to walk through the dining room, which was still without a table, unless the card table given him by Megan counted.  
  
Pushing through the swinging door, he entered his kitchen, the layout not unlike Jim's. Sinks and cupboards flanked the far wall, then an island that housed the stove/oven combination. To the right, the refrigerator.  
  
He did have two items the loft kitchen had lacked, namely a dishwasher named General Electric (as opposed to one called Blair Sandburg) and a trash compactor. But what stopped him now, as it always did, was the nook.  
  
He, Blair Sandburg, owner of nothing, suddenly had a breakfast nook, a fact that never ceased to amaze him, never failed to bring a goofy, disbelieving grin to his face.  Like now.  
  
The nook was actually a u-shaped, pale green vinyl covered attached bench seat with a small table. Behind it were built-in niches for storing decorative items, he supposed, or maybe cook books. He wondered how his fertility gods would look behind the nook? His grin widened. Or maybe his death masks? Oh, yeah, he had to have them there--real conversation starter, especially when he hosted the next poker night.  
  
Chuckling to himself, Blair crossed around the island to the fridge and took out a water. Uncapping it, he took a swig and tried to decide what to fix for dinner. Leaning against the sink, surveying his domain, his smile faded.  
  
A home was not a place; not for him anyway. So what then, was this? His residence? His domicile? Or just a place where he slept? No, this apartment had already become more than any home he'd ever had with the exception of 852 Prospect. So why wasn't it the home?  
  
But of course, he knew. Jim Ellison was his home.  
  
He supposed he ought to sit down, since he was obviously going to discuss Jim Ellison with himself. He moved to his nook and slid in, his fingers playing with the plastic Canadian Geyser water bottle.    
  
So. Here he was. Him, his water and his nook.  
  
So. No Jim Ellison. Still friends. Still partners. But finally, no longer roommates. Too many strange looks; too many whispers. In the end, the decision was easy. They both needed to move on. And, of course, a man can't continue to live with the man he's in love with, when that kind of love isn't returned. Nope, no way. Masochist he was not. At least, not anymore.  
  
And it wasn't as if he didn't still see Jim, just not 24/7.  Damn it.  
  
His fingers drummed the table and he wondered if he'd see Jake tonight. Maybe he should go over there? Nah, Jake was probably in the middle of dinner. Which was exactly what he should be doing--dinner. Hell, maybe just some popcorn and settle in front of his second-hand television? Yeah, that sounded like a plan.  
  
He slid out and was just reaching for the box when he heard a knock on his front door. He closed the cupboard and wondered who might be visiting; because it wouldn't be Jim, since the man had made it his mission in life to find excuses not to visit.  
  
"Hey, Jake my man!" He pushed open the screen and Jake walked in as if he owned the place, a huge grin plastered on his face, sparkling blue eyes fastened on Blair.  
  
Blair held out his hand and Jake high-fived him, then both ran their fingers over the flat palms. "So what'll it be tonight? Your choice. You want the hard stuff, or something... milder?"  
  
"hard stuff."  
  
"You got it. Why don't you...," he never finished his thought, Jake was already tearing off his jacket and dropping it over Blair's.  
  
"Right. Make yourself at home and I'll get our drinks."  
  
He went back to the kitchen, pulled two bottles from the fridge, took two glasses down and poured, then carried them back to the living room.  
  
As he walked in, Jake was standing by the large African shield that hung on the southern wall, his eyes wide with wonder. He'd visited several times in the last several weeks and the beautifully crafted shield never failed to draw his attention. When he heard Blair, he turned and smiled again, somewhat shyly. Blair held out the drink and said, "So what will it be tonight?"  
  
"monopoly."  
  
"Aw, come on, Jake. You kill me in Monopoly. Jeesh, I'm broke within an hour. Last time, you had hotels on every major piece of real estate and I had bought exactly two. Give me a break."  
  
Jake shook his head, bright blue eyes laughing merrily at his host. He repeated his choice again.  
  
"monopoly."  
  
"Right, Monopoly. Okay, I'll set these on the table while you get the game. You know where it is."  
  
Jake walked over the fireplace and squatted down in the corner. Three boxes were piled one on top of the other next to the basket of wood. He picked up the top box and took it carefully to the coffee table. Blair made room for the game while Jake opened the box. He held up two game pieces and Blair considered both, then chose the roadster.  
  
"You know you don't have a chance this time. I'm gonna slay you."  
  
Jake's only response was giggles.  
  
Jake handed the pile of money to Blair, then unfolded the game board and set it up, careful not to knock over his glass of apple cider. The Community Chest cards were stacked precisely and centered in their square, followed by the Chance cards. The Title Deeds were separated and placed in small, neat, ready to purchase stacks. As Jake worked, Blair counted out the $1500 for each of them, then arranged the money for banking purposes. He was always the banker.  
  
Jake might be the only four-year-old to actually play Monopoly, but Blair still needed to be the banker. And the fact that he was playing Monopoly with a four-year-old, never fazed him. He'd started playing the game himself at the same age.  
  
"So, how was the playground today? Was Cherry there?"  
  
"no, she's sick, can't swallow."  
  
"Uh, oh." Blair reached out and placed a hand against Jake's forehead.  
  
"i'm okay. me, i'm fine, it's cherry who can't swallow."  
  
"But you've been playing with her, right?"  
  
"yep, she's almost my very bestest friend."  
  
Blair handed Jake his money as he asked, "Almost?"  
  
"you're my bestest."  
  
The curly, blond head was bent in concentration as Jake arranged his money in stacks tucked under the board, so he didn't see the hand that was picking up the dice, freeze.  
  
"What about your Grandma?"  
  
Head still bent, Jake answered, "gammy's a--gammy."  
  
Blair nodded sagely as he picked up the dice.  
  
"Ah, yes. She's a gammy, not just a friend."  
  
"yup."  
  
Jake looked up and grinned at his bestest friend, then with a challenge in his voice, taunted, "bet i beat you in the first roll."  
  
Blair's eyebrow rose dangerously. "Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see, Tonto, we'll see." He blew on the single die, then rolled a five. He threw a smug look at the challenger who promptly picked up the die and rolled--a six. Clapping wildly, bouncing off the pillow Blair had stuck under him, he chortled, "ha, ha," in a sing-song voice. "i beat you again."  
  
Blair just gave a resigned shake of his head. He was going to get creamed-- _again_.  
  
*****  
  
"how much do you owe me?"  
  
"Well, let me put it this way, with the interest you'll get, you don't need to worry about college, okay?"  
  
"hee, hee."  
  
Blair's head shot up. "Did you just say hee-hee?"  
  
"yup."  
  
"You stinker."  
  
"yup."  
  
A small hand moved slowly toward the popcorn that sat in a large plastic bowl next to Blair's arm. Blair waited, pretending to be putting the money away and, just as the fingers were about to dip in, he put the money down and picked up the bowl. He stood and started for the kitchen.  
  
"blair?"  
  
"Um?"  
  
"popcorn."  
  
Blair turned, an open and innocent expression on his face. "Popcorn?"  
  
With an exaggerated look of patience, the curly head nodded toward the bowl. Blair glanced down, then back up. "Oh, you wanted some more?" He asked with complete surprise, his eyebrows rising in fake sincerity.  
  
"yup."  
  
Blair looked down at the popcorn, then at the now suspicious face, then back at the popcorn.  
  
"Well," he mused, "It's gonna cost ya."  
  
"um--seven thousand, six hundred?"  
  
"Got it in one, bud."  
  
"you can keep the popcorn. a man's gotta think 'bout his future."  
  
"I really hate precocious kids."  
  
"good thing i'm not--perko, perko...."  
  
"koshus. Precocious."  
  
"yeah, that."  
  
Blair took the bowl back to the couch, set it down and lifted the boy into his arms. He ruffled the short, silky curls and, smiling into the laughing face, said, "Yeah, good thing you're not precocious, kid."  
  
Carrying Jake to the couch, he dropped down, letting the body settle comfortably on his lap. Jake's arms were resting on his shoulders as he fixed his gaze on Blair's native necklace. Jake reached out and fingered the carved cat.  
  
"tell me again, please?"  
  
"And how many times would it be, if I told you again?"  
  
"oh--a gazillion-bazillion." He took his eyes from the cat long enough to ask again. "please?"  
  
"A gazillion-bazillion? Okay then, here goes a gazillion-bazillion and one."  
  
He shifted himself into the corner of the couch, slumped down a bit, allowing Jake's body to slide into the cradle he'd created with his arm and he began.  
  
"Long ago, in a land of jungle enchantment, there lived a great cat. He was long, sleek and black. But unlike any other cat, this one had--"  
  
"blue eyes, he had blue eyes."  
  
"Yes, blue eyes. Pale as to be almost not there. Now this cat was not like any other cat in the enchanted jungle and, considering that the jungle was enchanted, that was saying something."  
  
"how enchanted was he?" Jake asked around a large yawn.  
  
"Well, he could see farther than any living creature. He could hear a thousand miles away, could smell danger even outside the enchanted jungle and--"  
  
"i bet food tasted reaaal good, uh?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. But not too spicy, you know?"  
  
"oh i know. not too spicy. mild, like gammy's mild sauza."  
  
"Precisely. Of course our enchanted cat could also feel a fly if it landed on his backside. I mean, if the fly itched, our cat would scratch, you know?" At the sleepy nod, Blair went on, his voice dropping lower. "So, this cat had everything."  
  
"but someone to love him."  
  
"But someone to love him. He was brave; the bravest cat in the jungle, the bravest cat in the _world_.  He protected his enchanted jungle, protected it from hunters who dared to enter, protected it from the predators who strayed across its borders, even protected it from the weather! But he was so lonely."  
  
"because it's lonely 'tecting everybody."  
  
"Yep, because it's a lonely job. And in spite of all he did for his jungle, the other inhabitants were a little afraid of him, I mean, he was very special and very fierce."  
  
"but he wasn't, was he? he was a pussy cat."  
  
Blair chuckled at that and nodded. "Oh, yeah, that's our cat, our big, brave cat--a big old pussy cat."  
  
"did he find someone to love him?"  
  
"Well, what do you think?"  
  
"he found the wolf. the lonely wolf."  
  
"Yes, Jake, he found the wolf. The very lonely wolf. But they were so different...," he glanced down into the innocent face, at the blue eyes drifting closed in spite of his valiant attempts to stay awake and he dropped a quick kiss on the end of Jake's nose.  
  
Jake was asleep. Time to take him home. Blair rose easily, the weight in his arms no problem. Picking up the small blue jacket, he headed out.  
  
*****  
  
He crossed the courtyard to Number One and, before he could knock, Karen Porter had the door open and was stepping aside, a large, welcoming smile on her face.  In a soft, low voice, she said, "I was going to call you first, but I made the mistake of turning my back on the scamp. He was out the door and running across the garden before I could blink."  
  
"You know it's okay, Karen. My favorite visitor, besides yourself."  
  
She started to take the sleeping child, but Blair waved her off and kept walking, turning left and moving easily down the hall to Jake's room. He carefully deposited him on his bed and with Karen's help, they had him undressed and in his pajamas in a few seconds. Jake never stirred.  
  
Brushing the curls from Jake's forehead, Blair pulled up the blanket and tucked it under the boy's chin. Then dropping a quick kiss on the soft cheek, he turned to see Karen staring at him with a gentle smile on her face.  
  
"You're good with him," she whispered. "And you're good for him."  
  
"Then we're even. He's good for me."  
  
*****  
  
"It's wonderful seeing him open up like this, Blair. I've had him with me for over nine months now and this is the first time he's been so outgoing and accepting of anyone new."  
  
Sandburg gazed down at the petite woman, seeing the difficulties of the last months reflected in the dark blue eyes staring up at him.  
  
"It's been hard, hasn't it?"  
  
Her eyes clouded over as she remembered. "I never knew, never knew that I was a grandmother until that call." She looked over her shoulder, in the direction of Jake's room and smiled tenderly. "I would never, in a million years, have thought that I'd be taking care of a grandson I hadn't known existed, but he's been a godsend, Blair. A blessing."  
  
"Have you heard from Diane?"  
  
Karen shook her head sadly. "No. But I do know that she's still in Boston. I heard from an old friend who saw her at the Employment Development Offices. According to Helen, Diane looked--well, it was obvious that she'd made no effort to clean herself up. I'm just grateful she finally realized that Jake needed stability and called me. I can only imagine the horrors of his first years."  
  
"She must love him, Karen. And he's smart and happy now, she had to have done something right."  
  
"She loved him enough to give him up. And I pray every day that she'll get herself cleaned up and want to come home, to raise her son. I want my daughter back."  
  
He gave her a gentle, awkward smile, his hand squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.  
  
*****  
  
Back home, Blair sunk into his couch, shuttered blue eyes fixed on the game still out on his table. He reached over and scooped out a handful of popcorn, tossed one up into the air, tilted his head back and caught it neatly in his open mouth.  
  
Alone again--naturally.  
  
*****  
  
"So you still coming tonight, Chief?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
  
"Well, you keep extolling the virtues of your little courtyard, I just figured getting you to leave your haven would be just too damn hard. And speaking of haven," Jim paused and glanced at Blair out of the corner of his eye, "I was thinking of maybe stopping by this weekend and checking out this paradise of yours."  
  
"Okay, that was a mouthful for you, Ellison."  
  
"So, what do you say?"  
  
"Hey, if you don't mind that there's still no dining room table. Of course, it could be the year 2003, before I do purchase one...," his voice trailed off, giving Jim an opportunity to back down.  
  
Jim glanced at his partner as the truck slowed to a stop at the intersection of Western and Fifth. "No dining room table, Chief? What, Connor's card table just not cutting it?"  
  
"Actually, it's a great catch-all, which I suppose is the ultimate use of a table.  In a normal home, that is."  
  
"I believe I've just been insulted. And I remember the kitchen table serving nicely as a Sandburg catch-all. Catch all his books, all his papers, his jacket, his bowl of Rice Krispies, his two mugs of tea, always a decorative item, what with those cute little fuzzy green things floating on top."  
  
"Aw, you're just jealous. You miss my floating green fuzzies."  
  
Jim placed a hand over his heart and closed his eyes. "You nailed it, Sandburg. You always did have the best doggone moldy green fuzzies in the world."  
  
Blair snorted. "Jealous beyond belief."  
  
The signal went green and Jim proceeded through the intersection, then made the left onto Via Cordalia. "What's the address again?" Blair pointed to the green and white stucco on the north corner. "That's it. 3707."  
  
Jim pulled in and shut down. "Well, I'm not looking forward to this one."  
  
"No. Would be nice if there were some official department that handled this, before we got here."  
  
They climbed out and after checking traffic, ran across the street. Walking up the flagstone path, Jim took out a coin. "Toss for it?" He flipped the coin, but Blair caught it mid-air. "I'll do it, Jim."  
  
Ellison noticed that Blair pocketed the quarter. "Every little bit helps with that rent, eh?"  
  
Blair chuckled and patted the pocket. "Hey, just getting back a bit of my own. How many of my quarters did you pocket?"  
  
"Enough to make at least one payment on the truck."  
  
They were at the door and Jim knocked. A moment later a woman in her fifties answered, her expression changing from one of eagerness to dread the moment she saw their faces.  
  
*****  
  
"Is there anything else you can tell us about this Roberto Marin, Mrs. Collins?"  
  
Dabbing her eyes with the tissue, she shook her head. "No, no, that's it. She wrote such--glowing letters about him and when she came home, I wanted to meet him, you see? But somehow, it kept getting postponed and I got, well, I was hurt, you know? Why wouldn't she bring him over? Let me meet him? Why? And then she didn't show for our Saturday dinner and she wasn't at home, I went over to her new place, but she wasn't there and the cat hadn't been fed...," her head jerked up and she stared at Blair. "The cat, what about the cat? Who will take care of it?"  
  
"Mrs. Collins, a neighbor took the cat. If you'd like, we can take care of that for you."  
  
"I would, I would like Screamy Mimi, I would. Crazy name for a cat, isn't it? But she loved her, loved that cat. Yes, I want her."  
  
"Can we call Mr. Collins for you?"  
  
"No, no, he's at work, don't want to bother him."  
  
*****  
  
They stood on the sidewalk, breathing in the cool, brisk autumn air.  
  
"You think it was this Marin guy?"  
  
"Looks like, Chief, why?"  
  
"I don't know." He looked up at his friend and partner, eyes squinting in the bright sun. "Jim, she didn't want to call her husband. Her daughter is dead, but she didn't want to bother her husband at work."  
  
"And the address is?"  
  
With a smug smile, Sandburg said, "The Imperium Building--he's on the seventeenth floor."  
  
"Right, well, let's go."  
  
*****  
  
They took the express elevator up to seventeen, checked the directory, found Collins Sales and headed for suite 1709. A perky blonde receptionist greeted them, her perkiness waning as Jim flashed his ID.  
  
"We'd like a few minutes with Mr. Horace Collins regarding his daughter."  
  
The woman stood, nodded nervously, then opened the door behind her.  
  
"Sir, the police want to see you."  
  
The sound of a chair being tipped over and landing on the ground was Jim's second clue, the muttered 'fuck' was the first. He pushed past the woman, Blair right behind him.  
  
Guns drawn, they burst into the office just in time to see Collins disappearing behind another door. Hot on his heels, both men had the door open and were leaping after him.  
  
For all his age and paunch, Horace Collins gave them a good run for their money. Desperation will do that to a man.  
  
He managed to get to the stairwell and then the chase got interesting. Yelling down at the man, commanding him to halt, identifying themselves again as police officers was not conducive to keeping Jim happy. The echo reverberated through his skull, sending spikes of pain to bombard the back of his eyes. He paused just enough to allow Blair to surge ahead of him, tossing directions to, "Dial it down, for crying out loud!"  
  
Sandburg could just see Collins ahead of him and in a surprising move, Blair vaulted over the stairwell rail to land rather unceremoniously on the fleeing man.  
  
Jim quickly took the last steps down, the pain receding and came to an abrupt halt. Grinning, he holstered his gun.  
  
"Nice tackle, Chief. You okay?"  
  
Blair rolled over, shaking his head like a dog just coming out of water. He pulled his cuffs, turned an uninjured Collins over on his stomach.  He then flipped Jim the bird while at the same time, cuffing their suspect and reading the man his rights.  
  
He pulled Collins to his feet and, ignoring Jim, asked, "Do you always run, Mr. Collins, when the police arrive on your doorstep? Or only after killing your step-daughter?"  
  
*****  
  
"You're gonna have quite a shiner, Sandburg."  Jim reached out and lightly touched Blair's cheek, just below his right eye. "You okay?"  
  
Blair nodded and asked, "You think anyone will believe an elbow in the eye?"  
  
"Nah, might as well tell everyone what they want to hear; that it was an angry husband."  
  
"Ha, ha."  
  
They were walking down the hall, having just finished their interrogation of Horace Collins. The man had finally confessed and Jim's question regarding Blair's eye was rooted in his concern for his partner, thanks to all that they'd heard in the interrogation room.  
  
Horace Collins had been abusing his step-daughter from the time of his marriage to Miriam Hotchkiss. Carla Hotchkiss had been ten years old. The abuse continued until Carla went away to college. Evidently being away from home had opened some doors for Carla and after meeting a young man, Roberto Marin, and realizing that what had been happening to her was not normal, she'd come home with every intention of telling her mother.  
  
Apparently making the decision and following through were not as easy as Carla had thought. After many talks with her boyfriend, Roberto; after many aborted attempts to meet with her mother, Carla had finally decided to go directly to Horace. That had been her error. Fatal, as it turned out.  
  
In a panic at the thought that the world would know what he'd done, he'd killed her and left her body in a dark alley.  He'd then sat back and watched as his wife panicked, as she called the police, as they searched fruitlessly for her daughter, and as the finger of suspicion landed on the boyfriend. He'd thought he'd gotten away with it until his secretary had announced the police.  
  
Jim had watched his partner's face as Collins had dispassionately revealed the history of abuse and the decision to kill, then he'd watched Blair with Mrs. Collins, observed as he'd told her the truth, as he'd comforted her and as he'd turned her over to a slim, dark young man with haunted eyes. Roberto Marin.  
  
"You sure you're okay, Chief?"  
  
"Jim, chill out. I'm fine and yes, I know exactly what you're really asking."  
  
*****  
  
"Need me to bring anything, Jim?"  
  
"Nope, got it all. Unless you have an urge to bring some of that chili con queso of yours."  
  
"Isn't it a damn good thing I anticipated that request?"  
  
They were standing in the elevator, headed down to the parking garage, their day finally over.  The weekend was looming bright--and the Friday night poker game, hosted tonight by Jim would be a great beginning to it. "You realize that this is the first game that you, I mean, that we're..."  
  
"The first game where I'm one of your guests?"  
  
"Yeah, that."  
  
"Jim, it was the right thing to do. And it did help. The looks have stopped, the whispering--all of it."  
  
"It wasn't a good enough reason, Sandburg."  
  
The elevator opened and both men stepped out, Blair first. As the doors shut behind them, Sandburg faced his friend. "Wait," he placed on hand on Jim's chest, "wait, you sound as if..."  
  
"As if I'm sorry you moved out?"  
  
Eyes narrowing suspiciously, Blair said, "Yes."  
  
"Well, I am. I miss you, god damn it. Okay? Satisfied now?"  
  
"As a matter of fact--yes."  
  
Walking past Blair, Jim added wickedly, "I miss you the same way Felix Unger would miss Oscar Madison."  
  
"What a fucking coincidence, I miss you the same way Oscar Madison would miss Felix Unger."  
  
*****  
  
Jim opened the door to #307 and stepped inside. He hung up his jacket, leaving his keys in the pocket. Since Sandburg had moved out, he rarely used the key basket. He'd also misplaced his keys several times. Talk about ironic. But he was stubborn, and not using the basket was kind of like going on strike. His own protest.  
  
He walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge, popped the top and downed it in two swigs. Deliberately ignoring the recycle bin, he tossed the bottle into the trash, then walked upstairs to change.  
  
As he sat on the edge of the bed, he listened. To the fucking silence. A silence he hated with his whole being. The Sandburg silence. Definition: Absence of Sandburg talking. Absence of Sandburg moving, changing, complaining, explaining, sharing, sleeping, working, cooking, living--breathing.  
  
Okay, Jim had to admit it. He wanted Blair back. He wanted his roommate. He wanted--Sandburg. And could someone explain how Blair could _die_ and Jim not know then that he loved the guy?  
  
How he could watch Blair give up his life, watch him label himself a fraud on television and still not know? But one day after the man moves out, one day without him, then Jim knows? Seven kinds of a fool was James Joseph Ellison. Yep, at least that many.  
  
He'd been debating telling Sandburg for the last couple of weeks, but each time the words threatened to successfully spill from his lips, he'd chickened out. And why was that anyway? The worst that could happen was--the worst that could happen.  
  
What, Sandburg would move out? Jim barked out a dry laugh at his wit. Yeah, right. The worst that could happen was that Sandburg would--love him back.  
  
*****  
  
Blair climbed wearily from the Volvo and headed into the courtyard. As he walked under the archway a small body thudded into him, short arms trying to wrap around him.  
  
"Hey, Jake, long time, no see."  
  
The young man in question giggled into Blair's coat, then raised a shining, smiling face. "saw you this morning."  
  
"Long time ago, this morning." He turned the boy around and with his hand on Jake's head, guided him toward his apartment. As they turned left, he glanced back and spotted Karen standing in the doorway of her place, shrugging helplessly and grinning. Returning the smile, he waved.  
  
As they walked in, he asked, "So, how was your day?"  
  
"good, but better now. did you catch a bad guy today?"  
  
"Tons, Jake, tons."  
  
Jake glanced up at Blair, his face suddenly worried. He pointed up at Blair's face and asked, "did a bad guy do that?"  
  
Self-consciously, Blair touched his still tender cheekbone, then shrugged and gave Jake his best grin. "Nah, just a stupid cupboard."  
  
Jake grinned back at him then, relief evident. He gave Blair's jeans a little tug and as Blair stooped down, Jake whispered, "don't worry, it won't hurt long," then he nodded knowingly and added, "i know."  
  
Blair frowned at Jake's confidence, his mind trying to supply the circumstances that would surround Jake's receiving a black eye. He gave a little shudder, then in an effort to normalize the moment, he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it over the back of the couch.  
  
Jake mimicked every move of Blair's including throwing his own jacket over Blair's.  
  
After storing his gun, he said, "Poker night with the guys, tonight, Jake. How about you take care of some escaped chocolate chip cookies for me, while I put something together for the guys?"  
  
"they exscaped?"  
  
"Yep, rogue chips, you know."  
  
"my duty then."  
  
Blair laughed and, taking Jake's hand, they walked into the kitchen.  
  
*****  
  
Vinyl bench seats weren't made for four-year-olds, so Blair took the telephone book and set it down. Jake immediately perched on top, which allowed him to reach his cookies and milk.  
  
As Jake carefully dunked and chomped, Blair put his dip together. The silence was companionable but short-lived. As soon as Jake finished the cookies, he started asking questions. Never-ending questions about Blair, and tribes, and countries and--Jim. But the questions were never one-sided as Blair countered with questions about Jake's day, about Cherry, who was happily all better and about Halloween and did Jake know yet what his costume would be.  
  
Jake had just hopped down from his seat on the Cascade phone book when Blair asked the costume question. As he put his glass on the sink, with a little bit of help from Blair, he seemed, for the first time, to be a little disconcerted.  
  
"costume?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, costume, for trick-or-treating."  
  
At the silence, Blair stopped wrapping up the dip and knelt down in front of his young guest.  
  
"You have been trick-or-treating, haven't you?"  
  
Blond curls shook.  
  
"Okay, this is going to be hard...um, you see, well, you know what Halloween is, right?"  
  
Jake nodded solemnly. "you told me. all hallows eve."  
  
"Right, among other things." Blair scratched the back of his head as he puzzled how to explain the phenomenon of dressing up, knocking on someone's door and getting free candy to a child for whom the concept was totally foreign. Swinging Jake up into his arms, he walked out into the living room and took his usual place in the corner of the couch.  "Okay, it all started like this..."  
  
Ten minutes later, Jake was nodding his head excitedly. "so, they went around pretending to be fairies and got goodies?"  
  
"That sums it up, welp."  
  
"and now we get to dress up and get candy?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"i like this."  
  
Ruffling the blond hair, Blair chuckled. "Jake, I gotta tell ya, I loved it when I was a kid."  
  
"so what should i be?"  
  
"Well, we need to ask your grandma first and if she says yes, what do you want to be?"  
  
"a wizard. i want to be a wizard. with a magikal staff."  
  
"Well, what say I ask Karen and if it's a go, we'll work on a wizard costume, okay?"  
  
Jake bounced on Blair's leg, his face aglow.  
  
"she'll say yes, she'll say yes."  
  
At that moment, the phone rang and Blair reached over to answer.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
 _"Blair? Karen. I have an emergency, it's--it's Diane. I have to leave, to go to Boston"_  
  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
  
 _"Oh, Blair, I hate to ask this, but Maggie's gone for the weekend, won't be back until Sunday night, she can't take Jake until then..."  
_  
"Say nothing else, Karen. And how do you feel about exposing Jake to the time-honored tradition of cops celebrating the weekend with poker night?"  
  
*****  
  
"Okay, you've got the Aero bed and frame, his blankets and stuff, I've packed the small suitcase and judging by the box of toys, well, suffice it to say, Jake won't be looking for something to do. You have Dr. Peterson's number and Maggie's so you can call--"  
  
"Karen? Stop worrying. Go, take care of Diane. Jake will be fine. He'll stay with me until you get back and I'll arrange everything with Maggie on Sunday night, okay?"  
  
Karen looked up from her lengthy list and gave Blair a look of weary humor. "I know, I know. Jake'll be as happy as a clam." She couldn't help the quick glance down at her list. "Oh, God, I nearly forgot, the number where you can reach me in Boston, you'll need that--"  
  
"Got it, Karen. And I think your taxi is here."  
  
Blair slipped the strap of her garment bag over his shoulder and, with one hand on the door and the other on Karen's back, he ushered her outside. As they stepped into the courtyard, Jake jumped up and threw himself into his grandmother's arms. She lifted him and, holding him hard, walked through the lobby and out onto the front sidewalk.  
  
The cabbie came forward and took her bag and as he was putting it in the trunk, she kissed Jake's nose, saying, "You be good, you hear me? And I'll call every day until I get home."  
  
"promuse?"  
  
"I promise, Sugar."  
  
Jake's arms wound around her neck as he planted a big, loud wet kiss on her cheek. She kissed him back, then held his face to her cheek, eyes closed, hand cupping the back of his head. "Miss you, Jake, miss you already."  
  
She turned and by mutual consent, Jake's body leaned away and into Blair's. His arms reached out and Blair took him, fully aware of Jake's need to be held right now.  
  
Giving each of them a big grin, Karen climbed into the back of the cab and immediately rolled the window down. "See you both in a few days and don't let Jake rake in all the dough tonight or you'll never be invited to the game again." The cab pulled away from the curb, Karen's waving hand visible until the vehicle disappeared around the corner.  
  
Blair gave his new charge a little tickle and quipped, "Well, I guess it's just you and me, partner."  The small head resting on Blair's shoulder gave a slight nod but his attention was still grounded to the far corner, to the cab that was no longer visible.  
  
"You know," Blair mused, "I wonder if this is wise? Letting the guys meet you and all."  
  
"why not?"  
  
"Well, you're a pretty awesome dude and they might just dump me flat."  
  
Jake snorted, then asked, "will jim be there?"  
  
"Well aren't you the lucky one. The weekly Major Crime poker game is at Jim's. You get to see where I lived before I came here."  
  
The head lifted, eyes aglow, "i do?"  
  
"You do."  
  
"kewl."  
  
One eyebrow rose. "Kewl?"  
  
"cherry said that today. she said everybody says it."  
  
Blair lifted his hand, giving the high-five sign and Jake responded. As their palms slapped together, Blair said, "KEWL."  
  
*****  
  
Okay, this was... new. Carrying the dip and storing it securely inside the Volvo was not new, but balancing a clingy four-year-old on his hip? A four-year-old that had turned octopus, and refused to let go or be more than two inches away from him since his grandmother had driven off two hours ago.  
  
Definitely new. Not disturbing or uncomfortable just... new.  
  
He hiked Jake up a bit, walked around to the passenger side and as he opened the door he suddenly felt stupid. Car seat. He didn't have a car seat. Jake was what, four? And what did the law say? Four and forty? Shit. He knew Jake was over four, but damn, what did he weigh? He straightened and looked his new roommate straight in the eyes.  
  
"Hoss, we gotta talk." Leaning back a bit, so as not to go cross-eyed, he continued. "You gotta give it to me straight here, welp. Do you or do you not use a car seat when you ride in the car?"  
  
Jake giggled. Then laughed, throwing his head back, the laughter bubbling out of him. Blair tapped his foot impatiently, the corners of his mouth turning upward ever so slightly.  
  
"Ja-ke," he said with warning in his tone. "Do you or don't you?"  
  
"do."  
  
"Swell. Just swell. You couldn't be five years old? What, now I gotta fatten you up? In the next few minutes? I'm a cop, gotta follow the rules..."  
  
"car seat in the car, silly."  
  
Blair was stumped. He frowned. Car seat was in the car....  
  
"Shit, of course. Karen's car." He fumbled in his jacket pocket and pulled out the set of keys she'd left for him. Then walked over to the blue Le Mans and unlocked the door. And stared.  
  
Car seat. Installed. And-like _stuck_.  
  
And he had to unstuck it. Swell. Just swell. He'd heard vicious rumors about these things, about how only nuclear physicists could secure a car seat and, even then, it had to be a physicist with an IQ of over 300.  
  
Well, he may not be a physicist, but damn, he could do this. He set Jake down, took a deep breath and started in. After all, hadn't he successfully learned how to set the clock on the VCR at the tender age of 28?  
  
Twenty minutes later and sweating bullets, he finally had the damn thing out of Karen's car. He was going to be late--Jim's first poker night sans roommate and the ex was going to be late. Fortunately, he was a quick study and while it had taken him twenty minutes to get it out, it only took him--nineteen--to get it in.  
  
He'd ignored Jake's giggles throughout the procedure and now stood viewing his handiwork. Yeah, looking good. Jake was secured and currently giving him the thumbs up sign. He returned it and, wiping his sweaty brow, walked around and climbed in.  
  
"Well, guess we're on our way, eh, Jake?"  
  
Jake bounced in his seat, his excitement at the evening's events fueling his energy. Blair had wisely not fed Jake yet, letting a few graham crackers tide him over. He knew there would enough food to satisfy him tonight, some even healthy. But--entertainment? He'd stuffed some of Jake's favorite books into the bag with the chili con queso, also a couple of small boxes of robotics and what the heck did a four-year-old watch on television on Friday nights? When in doubt--go to the source.  
  
"Uh, Hoss? Since poker is the name of the game tonight, is there anything in particular you'd like to watch on television until bed time?"  
  
"disney channel."  
  
Uh, oh. Disney Channel. He racked his brains, trying to remember if Jim's cable set-up included Disney. "Well, that sounds good. Here's hoping Jim has the Disney Channel."  
  
"everyone has the disney channel, gotta have it, it's a ruuuule."  
  
Blair took his eyes from the road long enough to give Jake his best doubtful look and Jake nodded his head enthusiastically. "really, a big ruuuule," his hands stretched out wide, " a really, really big ruuuule."  
  
"Uh, welp, does this rule apply to confirmed bachelors?"  
  
"bachlers?"  
  
"Yeah, bachelors, as in Jim Ellison, as in unmarried men."  
  
" _you_ have the disney channel." Jake said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Blair had the Disney Channel, therefore...  
  
"Yes, well, I didn't know I had it until a certain young man started visiting me."  
  
"so he doesn't know. but it is a ruuuule."  
  
"Could you tell me why that makes perfect sense coming from you?"  
  
"because i'm jake the wizard."  
  
"Ah. Speaking of which, we have to work on your costume this weekend. Tuesday is Halloween."  
  
The bounce became more pronounced as Jake clapped his hands. "yes, yes, yes. and i need a staff, a big, wooden staff, don't i?"  
  
"Um, staff or wand?"  
  
"oh."  
  
"Harry Potter has a wand, but Merlin has a staff. Your choice."  
  
"i am greater so i must have both." He punctuated that statement with a very firm nod of his head.  
  
"Yes, I see. Definitely greater, definitely both."  
  
He turned on Willits and was struck by an idea.  
  
"Jake, how about practicing your Trick-or-Treat routine tonight? On Jim?"  
  
"can i? can i please? will he have candy?"  
  
"With me gone? Oh, I can almost guarantee it, Hoss. Specifically Godiva." The signal went red and Blair leaned over conspiratorially.  
  
"Okay, this is how it's gonna go down, my man...."  
  
*****  
  
He knew he was puttering, the damn place had been ready for the gang for hours, but damn it, he was nervous. The first visit. Blair's first visit since moving out.  
  
He took the bowl of peanuts and moved them to the edge of the coffee table. He was eyeing the bowl of peppered nuts on the kitchen table when someone knocked on the door. He tried to peg who it might be, but he came up short.  
  
Moving quickly, he pulled open the door and--looked down.  
  
"trick or treat?"  
  
Jim's jaw dropped. Then he scratched his head. Trick or treat? No way. He'd know if it were Halloween, Blair would have... shit. But no, the neighbors, the pumpkins, no Halloween wasn't until--what, Tuesday?  
  
"Uh, son, I'm afraid...," no, he couldn't tell this little waif that Halloween was in four days and where the hell were his parents? And what the hell was wrong with them? He quickly amended his sentence.  
  
"Son, I'm afraid I'm all out of candy. And where..."  
  
"the go-diva. in the box on top of the refrigrator."  
  
"...are your-- _what_ did you say?"  
  
"the go-diva, on top of the frigrator."  
  
Jim scratched his head again, then took a big whiff.  
  
Well, well, well. He bent over and scooped the little devil into his arms, then stepped out into the hall.  
  
"Okay, Sandburg, show yourself."  
  
Nothing, if you didn't count the giggles emanating from the wiggle wart in his arms.  
  
"Sandburg, I can smell you and your chili con queso. You're in this hall. Come out now," he winked at Jake, "or I eat the kid."  
  
Blair stepped out from his position around the corner, his hands high in the air. "Oh, no, Jim, not that. Please don't eat the kid. Besides, he's dessert."  
  
Jake's only comment--"blech."  
  
Jim grinned, saying, "What, you don't taste good?"  
  
"nope. go-diva tastes muuuuch better."  
  
"Well, let's go inside and I'm assuming that you brought yon Blair, right?"  
  
Jake nodded happily as Jim turned back. Blair picked up the bag containing the dip and brought up the rear, his laughter following Jim inside.  
  
"So did you drive, or did you let Blair drive?"  
  
"blair drove. i'm too short."  
  
"So's he, kid, so's he."  
  
"I resemble that remark, Jim and no casting aspersions on the bearer of both Jake, the young man in your arms, and chili con queso."  
  
Shifting the young man to his left hip, Jim held up his right hand. "Hello, Jake. I'm Jim and glad to meet you." They shook and Jake said, "i know you're jim. you're blair's partner and you catch most of the bad guys, huh," he affirmed with a nod.  
  
"Well, I do catch my share, never let it be said that Jim Ellison shirks his duty, but Sandburg has been known to catch a few in his day." He then added with a smirk, "Just not today, or anytime in recent history."  
  
Blair set the bag with the dip on the kitchen sink and snorted. "Right Jim. You just keep believing that. Jake, don't you listen to the man. He totters. Ask him, just ask him if he doesn't totter. Why if not for me, Cascade would be a den of criminals, a veritable--"  
  
"corneecope-a...."  
  
"Plethora...," Jim added, laughing.  
  
"Of evil doers," Blair finished, his own laugh mingling with Jake's and Jim's.  
  
Jim set the youngster down and immediately squatted down to Jake's height. His fingers found the zipper to the jacket and, as he unzipped and helped Jake out of the warm parka, revealing the yellow pajamas underneath, he said, "So tell me, young Jake, how did you meet my friend over there, huh?"  
  
"he lives in my gammy's building. we play monopoly all the time and he always loses. he owes me a katrillion dollars now."  
  
"Good God, a katrillion? Just how much is a katrillion?"  
  
"it's a whole lot."  
  
"Well, take my advice, don't let him wiggle out of giving you that money. With a katrillion bucks, you could buy a spaceship. At least."  
  
"i know. two spaceships, maybe."  
  
Jim regarded the young man with a keen eye. "Jake, I do believe you're my lucky charm tonight. Something tells me with you around, I'm gonna win a katrillion dollars tonight."  
  
*****  
  
The television droned on in the background and, lying on his stomach, on the floor, a few feet from the set, legs waving in the air, Jake watched as Pluto wreaked havoc on Mickey Mouse. Jim did indeed have the Disney Channel.  
  
In the kitchen, Jim lounged against the fridge and watched as Blair ripped open the bag of tortilla chips and dumped them into a large bowl.  
  
"Okay, Sandburg, spill."  
  
"I don't think so, Ellison, you'll just make me clean up."  
  
"I'm gonna ignore that, Sandburg. Now talk."  
  
"His grandmother is my landlady, Karen Porter. You remember me telling you about her?"  
  
"Got it. So?"  
  
"She had a family emergency and I'm taking care of Jake until Karen returns."  
  
Jim crossed his arms over his chest and in a voice dripping with exaggerated patience, said, "Chief, give me all of it."  
  
Blair faced his partner and grinned. "Dying of curiosity, are we?"  
  
Jim waggled his fingers at Blair.  
  
Blair stepped over to the sink and resting his back against the counter, now shoulder to shoulder with Jim, he lowered his voice and said, "Okay, okay. Karen's daughter, Diane, ran away from home five years ago. She was only sixteen. Karen searched for her, hired private detectives, the works. But nothing. Then, last year, she received a phone call from Diane, begging her to come to Boston, that she needed her."  
  
Blair paused and craned his neck, checking that Jake was still engrossed in cartoons. Satisfied, he continued, voice lowered to a level that only Jim could have heard. "When Karen arrived in Boston, she found her daughter living in a flop house and heavily addicted to just about everything. And in the next room, sound asleep, she discovered Jake."  
  
"Christ, Chief."  
  
"That's how Karen found out she was a grandmother. Diane doesn't know," Blair's voice faltered, before continuing, "who the father is. She has no idea. Anyway, she begged Karen to take Jake."  
  
"I'm assuming Karen tried to get Diane to return with her as well?"  
  
"Tried hard; failed hard. In fact, when Karen woke up the next morning, Diane was gone. Jake's been with Karen from that moment on. The call Karen received today was from Diane. She's in trouble, so Karen had to go."  
  
"Okay, I get all this, Chief. But why did she leave Jake with you? An entire apartment building, other friends, yet she leaves her grandson with Blair Sandburg?"  
  
Blair moved to the island, resting his palms on the surface as he gazed over at the small boy, a gentle smile playing about his lips. "Jake and I have become--close. He spends most evenings with me from the time I get home. I'm not sure why he latched onto me, but I'm glad."  
  
He faced Jim again, his eyes glowing with pride--fatherly pride. "God, Jim, he's so smart. And damn, he really does beat me at Monopoly. Karen and I can only guess at his first three years, at how bad they must have been. When he first came to live with Karen, he was very quiet and withdrawn, but gradually, over time, well, you saw for yourself."  
  
"Yeah, Chief, I did. He's a charmer. Obviously Karen has done wonders for him. Mind telling me what the Trick-or-Treat thing was all about?"  
  
Blair chuckled and stepped in close to Jim, his arm reaching up and behind the taller man. His fingers closed around the golden box hidden behind the pitcher on top of the fridge. He brought it down and waved it in front of Jim's face.  
  
"Like I wouldn't know that once I was outta here, you'd sneak in some Godiva chocolate?"  Jim tried to snatch the box, but Blair immediately hid it behind his back as he shook a finger in front of Jim's face. "I don't think so, bucko."  
  
Taking a nonchalant stance, Jim asked, "And what does Godiva have to do with tricking and treating? Not to mention that the idea of using an innocent boy to rat out my stash, er, my innocent box of candy."  
  
Blair stepped back just one instant before Jim made his attack and, laughing, held the candy as far back as he could. "Well, since I knew you'd have this stash, and since this will be Jake's first Halloween in costume and going trick-or-treating, I figured he could practice on you," he darted out of the kitchen, box raised high as he finished, "and uncover your stash."  
  
As Blair backed into the living room, his eyes on Jim who was stalking the box of chocolates, Jake scrambled up and started jumping up and down and repeating, "trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat."  
  
"Aw, Jake, you're gonna help old Jim, aren't you buddy? Help me rescue the chocolates from Mr. 'eat only healthy foods unless it's a hot dog Sandburg'?"  
  
Short curls bobbed as Jake shook his head, suddenly adamant in his refusal to aid Jim.  
  
"uh, uh, can't help, can't help. besides, candy is mine, for halloweeny." He made a leap worthy of Michael Jordan and small fingers grasped the gold box. He landed, clutching his prize.  
  
Blair turned on the boy and waving his finger at him, reminded, "It's not Halloweeny yet, my man and what is this? I'm surrounded by chocoholics?"  
  
Jake looked down at the box in his hand, then up at Jim, who winked. Grinning, Jake said, "yep."  
  
"Jake, my friend, compadre, champion Monopoly player, owner of my soul and fortune for at least the next twenty years, what say I hold the box until Halloween. Does that sound fair?" Blair knelt down and gave Jake his best grin.  
  
"til halloween?"  
  
"Yep, 'til Halloween."  
  
Jake glanced up to Jim. "you wanna go with me? go trick-or-treating with me and blair? i'll share."  
  
Blair made a concerted effort not to snort.  
  
"Jake, that's the finest invitation that I've ever received. You've got yourself a partner, pardner."  
  
With great solemnity, Jake handed the box to Blair, who in turn and with even greater solemnity, handed it up to Jim. He failed completely at hiding his smirk.  
  
"Jake, tell Jim what your costume is going to be."  
  
Puffing out his chest, he answered proudly, "I'm going as a great wizard. i'm so great, i get a staff and a wand."  
  
"A wizard with a staff _and_ wand? I'm impressed, Jake."  
  
"what will you be, jim?"  
  
Blair stood and regarded his partner. "Um, yes, Jim, what will you be?"  
  
Ellison looked at the two, one with eagerness and curiosity written all over his face, the other with a distinct smirk. He rubbed his jaw reflectively. "Well, you know, I think I'll save that as a surprise for Tuesday. Yeah, surprise."  
  
"oh goody, a s'prise."  
  
Blair barely managed to contain himself as he added, "Yeah, Jim. Oh, goody, a surprise."  
  
Jim was about to give Blair the evil eye, but voices from the lobby stopped him. He tilted his head a bit and said, "Company's here." He looked back down at Jake and added,"Well, guy, you're about to meet Cascade's finest. You ready?"  
  
"yup."  
  
*****  
  
Simon and Joel arrived first and managed to get inside, coats removed, bags of munchies deposited in the kitchen, and throw out a few well launched insults before they realized something was amiss. Or added.  
  
Joel had just made a crack about Blair's chili con queso dip, praying that no turkey was involved.  He was about to relay to Simon what had happened the last time he'd eaten anything of Blair's with the word chili in it, when a giggle floated up from somewhere behind Jim. Joel froze, looked around, then shrugged and continued.  
  
About to regale them with how the exact number of helpings of Blair's turkey chili had coincided with the exact number of trips to the bathroom when another giggle interrupted him. He looked over at Simon, who was frowning, his eyes flicking over the loft, his Captain persona at full mast.  
  
"Okay, what's up, guys?"  
  
"me."  
  
No one moved. Jim and Blair stood shoulder to shoulder, innocence their modus operandi.  
  
Simon repeated his question.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"me."  
  
Joel chimed in with, "Who's me?"  
  
"me."  
  
Simon took two steps toward Jim and Blair, who consequently took two steps back.  
  
"Ellison? Sandburg? When exactly did one of you become a ventriloquist?"  
  
"Why sir," they both said together. Jim gave Blair a small sweeping gesture with his hand, indicating that he could go first. Blair waved him off, saying, "Oh, no, Jim. Age before beauty, you know. After you."  
  
Jim gave an exaggerated bow, his arm sweeping out with a flourish. "Oh, no, after you, please."  
  
"GENTLEMEN!"  
  
"shouldn't yell."  
  
Simon started to sputter and the comedy team of Ellison and Sandburg decided to take pity.  
  
They stepped aside.  
  
Simon looked out over the living room, then... looked down.  
  
"Shit."  
  
Jake put his hand to his mouth and giggled.  
  
Blair swung Jake up into his arms and walked over to his Captain.  
  
"Simon, I'd like you to meet Jake Porter, aka Hoss. Jake, this is our boss, Simon Banks, and standing next to him with the silliest grin I've ever seen, is Joel Taggart. Joel, meet Jake."  
  
Joel, noticing that Simon was nonplussed, stepped up to the mound. He held out his hand and taking Jake's, said, "Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Porter. Were you planning on playing in tonight's game?"  
  
Jake shook hands with Joel as he shook his head and said, "no," then he sighed heavily, letting his shoulders droop. "too small, just too small."  
  
Simon, back with the living, rested a large hand on the curly mop of hair, saying, "Kid, if small were the criteria for not being able to play, then Sandburg would be out of luck."  
  
The bright blue eyes sparkled up at Simon as Jake asked excitedly, "so i can play?"  
  
Blair set him back down and with the most angelic expression on his face, answered, "as of now, you're Simon's partner. Isn't he, Simon?"  
  
The stunned expression on Simon's face was more than enough for both Blair and Jake. Blair immediately high-fived Jake, their fingers once again doing their little palm dance, as both cried out, "GOTCHA!"  
  
Simon glanced over at Jim, who was grinning broadly. With great drama, Simon said, "Dear God, now there are two of them."  
  
*****  
  
The loft was quiet.  
  
Seven people sat around the table, each engrossed in their newly dealt hands. Megan was running her fingers over the cards, her eyes narrowing as she scrutinized the hand.  
  
Joel was shuffling his, back and forth, back and forth...  
  
Henri Brown was covertly watching his fellow players, while Rafe just shook his head sadly.  
  
Jim's cards were face down on the table and Blair's were in his left hand while he reached for a handful of nuts with his right. He lobbed several into his mouth as he watched Simon.  
  
Simon was chewing on his unlit cigar as he tilted his head first left, then right. His finger tapped the middle card, but the blond head shook. Jake was comfortably ensconced on Simon's lap and as Simon moved his finger down, Jake watching carefully, one small hand slipped under Simon's arm and fingers wiggled.  
  
Blair dropped three honey coated peanuts into the open palm and the hand was pulled back, the nuts popped into the mouth as Jake nodded at Simon's new choice.  
  
Jim picked up the deck of cards and starting with Megan, asked, "How many Connor?"  
  
"Two."  
  
Jim dealt the two cards, then moved to Henri who asked for three. Blair nonchalantly asked for one and, as Rafe threw down his cards in disgust, Simon discarded two cards and Jim dealt him two him new ones.  
  
"And the dealer takes three." Jim dealt himself the necessary cards and joined the rest of the gang in slipping on his best poker face as he adjusted his hand. Across the table, he couldn't fail to note that a certain short person was bouncing in his seat. He winked at the excited Jake.  
  
The game progressed until there was a very respectful pot and three people left. Simon, Blair and Henri.  
  
Henri picked up two red chips and dropped them down onto the pile. Blair picked up two red chips, then added two more. "I'll see that and raise two."  
  
Small fingers handed Simon four red chips.  
  
"Um, seems I'm meeting that bet." Four more chips were added to the pile.  
  
Everyone looked at Henri, who grinned and laid out two pair--eights and fives.  
  
In a humble voice, Blair said, "Ooh, that's good, H. Of course, I do believe this beats your two pair." He laid out all five cards, revealing a straight flush, eight high.  
  
Jake clapped happily, completely forgetting that he was Simon's partner. Simon huffed around his cigar and threw down his cards. Blair raked in his winnings. Pushing his chips to the side, he checked his watch and pushed his chair back.  
  
"Jake, my man, guess what time it is?"  
  
"nuh, uh."  
  
"Yep. Bedtime. Come on, let's go. There's a futon with your name on it."  
  
"do i have to?"  
  
"Big day tomorrow, remember? We have to go costume hunting and..."  
  
Simon turned in his seat and let Jake slide down as the boy nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"okay, bed now, costume tomorrow."  
  
Blair held out his arm and Jake latched on. Blair swung him up and into his arms. "Say good-night, Jake."  
  
"good-night jake."  
  
"I knew you were going to say that."  
  
"me too."  
  
Amidst chuckles, the necessary good-nights were said, with Jake receiving a kiss from Megan, a tickle from H, a salute from Rafe and a mini hug from Joel. Jim slid back and stood, his obvious intention to accompany the two.  
  
"You sure sleeping in your old room will be okay for him? That our playing won't bother him? Maybe upstairs?"  
  
Blair looked at Jake, one eyebrow raised in question. Jake pointed to Blair's old room.  
  
"Well, Jim, I think the decision has been made."  
  
"Right." He reached out and rubbed the top of Jake's head, then leaned down and whispered, "see you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"promuse?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Blair disappeared behind the French doors and Jim went back to his seat, but his attention was focused in on the spare room. The rest of the gang was using the time to take a break, with Rafe, Simon and Joel heading up to the roof for a cigar. Megan excused herself and headed for the bathroom.  
  
And from the small room, Jim could hear every word.  
  
*****  
  
"Shoes."  
  
Two feet wiggled up at Blair as Jake leaned back on his elbows. "What? I'm supposed to take them off for you? Since when?"  
  
"since now?"  
  
"Let me guess--another rule?"  
  
"yep."  
  
Blair knelt down and slipped off the ratty tennis shoes. "Why am I constantly surrounded by people with rules?"  
  
"you need ruuules. lots of ruuules."  
  
"I need rules? Me? Does Jake need rules?"  
  
Jake waggled one finger in front of Blair's face. "one ruuule, only one."  
  
"So, that would be the Disney Channel rule, right?"  
  
A second finger joined the first. "Ah, so you have two rules?" Jake nodded sleepily, then as Blair pulled down the covers and slipped the pliant body under the cozy warmth, Jake spoke through a wide yawn, "disney channel and a story from blair every night."  
  
Blair sat down on the edge of the bed and as Jake's hand crept out from under the blue blanket, Blair let his own fingers play a game of tug-o-war with Jake's as he asked, "And what kind of very short story must be heard tonight?"  
  
"tell me 'bout one of your halloweenies."  
  
"Okay, how 'bout one of my favorites?"  
  
Jake nodded happily.  
  
Out in the living room, Jim smiled. This was going to be good. He settled down to listen.  
  
*****  
  
Jake's small fingers captured Blair's as he started speaking, voice low and soft.  
  
"It started out like any normal day, Jake. I was excited because I had this friend, named Sammy, going with me."  
  
"how old were you?"  
  
"Ten."  
  
"didn't you have a friend before?"  
  
"Well, not usually. We moved around a lot, my mom and I. Anyway, I was going as Davy Crockett and I had this neat coonskin hat and everything and Sammy was going as an Indian and he had this nifty chief's hat and a bow and arrow and a knife and well, it was really cool."  
  
Blair tugged on Jake's fingers and added, "Of course, not as cool as the bestest wizard in the world, but still--pretty cool." Jake nodded understandingly and Blair continued. "So anyway, my mom took me over to Sammy's and we had hamburgers and macaroni and cheese." Blair grinned as Jake opened his eyes enough to smack his lips, then continued.  "And we had apple pie for dessert. Then it was time to get into our costumes. By seven, we were ready and Sammy's mom took us outside." His voice dropped low and scary....  
  
"The wind was howling, carrying all the leaves in swirls around us, and it was the darkest night I ever remember seeing. The moon was hidden behind the clouds, and I looked up and I swear the clouds looked just like long, skinny fingers with long, sharp nails."  
  
Jake shivered and pulled the covers up to his neck, the said, "go on, go on."  
  
"Well, we went to a few houses, a bunch of older kids with us and we got great stuff, you know? Big candy bars, full size candy bars, not like what they give out now. Not those puny little miniature candy bars. But see, the kids we were with, they were bigger and they didn't want to wait for us, so they ran ahead. Now Sammy's mom was on the sidewalk, talking with other mothers, so Sammy and I decided to take a short--well, candy break, you know?"  
  
Jake nodded, his eyes wide.  
  
*****  
  
Simon entered the loft, the smell of cigars still clinging to him. As he started to say something, Jim put his finger to his lips and indicated the bedroom. Simon walked over, getting close enough to hear Blair's voice...  
  
*****  
  
"So I opened my candy bar--"  
  
"what kind?"  
  
"Um, Baby Ruth, I think and Sammy had a Butterfinger."  
  
Jake smacked his lips again and asked, "will i get baby ruths and butterfingers on tuesday?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure of it and way more."  
  
"kay, what happened next?"  
  
"Well, we finished our candy and started to cut across the lawn with Sammy heading up the small hill to the large house above us. I remember shaking my head and saying, 'sammy, nuh, uh, we can't go there. that's mr. collins' house and he doesn't have a pumpkin or a light on or anything'."  
  
"what did sammy say?"  
  
"He said he was going anyway, that the big kids skipped his house, but not him, no way. So of course, like an idiot, I followed."  
  
Jake started to shake his head as he mouthed a big NO.  
  
"Yep, I did. I followed him. I gotta tell ya, Jake, it was even darker," his voice lowered even more dramatically, " and the wind was blowing even harder and I just _knew_ those big tree branches, you know the ones, no leaves and long, straggly branches, like grasping fingers..."  
  
Jake was nodding...  
  
"...and I just knew they were trying to get me, but I ran past them and caught up with Sammy and with shaking knees, we climbed up to the porch and there were all these spider webs and in the darkest corner, two gold eyes stared at us, then they--blinked...," his words were temporarily halted by a gasp from Jake, "and those golden eyes belonged to a black cat, but it just sat there, watching us."  
  
*****  
  
Outside the french doors, Simon had been joined by Megan and Joel...  
  
*****  
  
"So we stood there, shaking so hard you could hear our knees knocking, but gosh darn it, I was Davy Crockett and Sammy was a fierce Indian chief so I said, 'sammy, knock.' And Sammy said, 'no, _you_ knock.' So I reached out and pulled the screen door open and I--"  
  
"knocked."  
  
"Yep, I knocked. We could hear movement inside, and these big, heavy, ominous footsteps and I almost ran, right then and there, but..."  
  
"you were davy crockett, king of the wild frontier."  
  
"You got it, Jake. So I stood my ground and those heavy footsteps came close and stopped in front of the gigantic door and the knob started to turn and I swear, it got even darker, and then, then, the door swung open and there he stood..."  
  
"mr. collins."  
  
"Yep, Mr. Collins. And in his hand, in _both_ of his hands, he carried, he carried.."  
  
*****  
  
Outside, Simon, Rafe, Joel, Henri and Megan leaned forward, listening....  
  
*****  
  
"he carried what, blair? he carried what?"  
  
"He carried...."  
  
*****  
  
"God damn it, what?" Megan hissed out impatiently. Simon poked her in the ribs.  
  
*****  
  
"He carried this really big, huge, round... bowl."  
  
"what was in the bowl?" Jake gasped out.  
  
*****  
  
"Yeah, what the hell was in that bowl?" Henri asked no one in particular but received the same poke in the ribs from both Simon and Megan.  
  
*****  
  
"Well, Sammy's eyes were glued to the bowl, but I knew we had to say it, so I did. I said, 'trick or treat' and he, he, well, you won't believe what he said."  
  
"what?"  
  
*****  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ssh."  
  
*****  
  
"He said, 'well, young men, here you go.' And he leaned down to show us the bowl and inside," Blair's voice dropped to almost a whisper....  
  
*****  
  
And outside, heads leaned in while Jim sat grinning.  
  
*****  
  
"....inside were the biggest, fattest, gooiest..."  
  
Jake held his breath...  
  
*****  
  
And outside, five hardened detectives held theirs...  
  
*****  
  
"....caramel apples you've ever seen and wrapped around each wooden stick--a dollar bill. Well, two hands reached in so fast, your head would have spun around three times!"  
  
Jake burst into musical giggles as his feet kicked off the covers, hands waving happily in the air.  
  
"Okay, bed for you, Hoss."  
  
Jake let Blair tuck him in again, his face flushed with excitement. "all those silly big kids and they missed it, didn't they, blair?"  
  
"Yep, they did, but not Sammy and me." He bent down and kissed the top of Jake's head.  
  
"Now go to sleep."  
  
He'd almost made it to the door when...  
  
"blair?"  
  
He turned and smiled. "What, Jake?"  
  
"this was your room?"  
  
"Yep, this was my room."  
  
"it's the bestest then."  
  
*****  
  
The table was cleared off, dishes washed and put away, trash taken out, the deck of cards boxed and put away next to the chips. All was right at 852 Prospect. The majority of the losers had left for their respective homes, following the usual amount of grumbling about guys with long hair and their luck with cards.  
  
Simon had remained to help Jim clean up and was now relaxing on the couch, a cup of hot coffee in his hand. Jim sat at the other end of the couch, nursing one final beer. Across from the two men sat Blair, his own hands wrapped around an equally hot mug of coffee.  He'd just finished giving Simon the long version of how he'd brought a guest to the poker game.  
  
"You know, I'd almost forgotten," Simon paused, glancing first at Jim, then over to Blair before resuming, "that Sandburg doesn't live here anymore."  
  
Jim studied his beer bottle, turning it around in his fingers as if he hadn't heard Simon's comment. Blair glanced around the loft, his fingers tightening on the mug. Simon wisely decided to change the subject.  
  
"That Jake is something else. He's got us all hooked."  
  
Blair looked up and grinned wide. "Yeah, he's pretty terrific, isn't he?"  
  
Jim gave Simon a wicked look, then started whistling. Banks caught on, and joined in.  
  
Blair's eyes narrowed, his forehead creasing in puzzlement as he tried to figure out what was going on.   And then he recognized the tune.  
  
The theme song from Davy Crockett.  
  
"You assholes were listening!"  
  
One pair of blue eyes and one pair of brown blinked innocently back at him. Then Jim leaned forward and with a conspiratorial wink at Simon, asked, "You still got that coonskin cap, Chief?"  
  
Shaking his head in surrender, Blair stood and headed for the small bedroom. "I've gotta get Jake home, not to mention these weary bones. And if my bones are weary, you two old men have to be in some serious pain."  
  
Jim looked over at Simon, who was grinning at him. "Did your partner just call us old?"  
  
"Yes, Simon, I believe he did."  
  
"These young whippersnappers get so uppity when they win a few poker hands."  
  
"Yes, don't they? And of course, in Sandburg's case, it doesn't really take much, does it? Give the guy a few paperclips to play with, a report to write, a few poker hands to win..."  
  
"Yeah, he's a happy camper. Did he play with his mashed potatoes too?"  
  
"Well, as a matter of fact--yes. Made these cute little designs, kinda like Richard Dreyfuss in that Spielberg movie, you know?"  
  
"No wonder he and Jake get along so well..."  
  
"So close in age..."  
  
A wet sponge hit Jim on the back of the head.  
  
"Are you two guys finished with the Bashing Sandburg Hour?"  
  
Jim turned in his seat, right arm slung over the back of the couch. "Well, no, not really. I was going to share a few facts about you, bubble baths and rubber duckies but if you'd rather I didn't...."  
  
He lobbed the sponge neatly overhead and watched gleefully as it struck Blair's back with a splat. Blair bent down, picked it up, then tossed it underhand into the kitchen. He watched it thud against the fridge, then slide to the ground. Turning his back on it, he flipped Jim the bird and, grinning, went quietly through the french doors.  
  
The light of the living room provided enough illumination to guide him to the edge of the bed. He sat down, picked up Jake's shoes, then lifted the blankets from Jake's legs.. He slipped on one shoe, then the other, then tied both. Blair lifted the boy into his arms and, cradling Jake's head on his shoulder, he walked out into the living room where Jim stood, a small red parka in his hands. Jim slipped the jacket on around the sleeping boy, his head so close to Blair's, their breath mingled softly. For the briefest of moments their eyes met, before Jim's darted away.  
  
Blair swallowed hard.  
  
Softly, so as not to disturb the sleeping child, Jim asked, "Want me to bring the dip bowl with me tomorrow?"  
  
Blair shook his head and smiled. "It's yours anyway."  
  
"You schmuck."  
  
"Yep. But, hey, you've got it back now."  
  
Simon was putting on his coat as Blair walked to the door. As he checked his pocket for his keys he gazed at Jake, then at Blair. Simon ran a finger through the boy's blond curls, then brushed the soft cheek with the back of his large, dark hand.  
  
"He looks good on you, Sandburg."  
  
*****  
  
The drive home was--different. Jake was a sound sleeper, and continued to sleep undisturbed as Blair mulled over what had happened. There was no way he'd misunderstood the look in Jim's eyes when he'd been putting the jacket on Jake. No way. Okay, the emotions in that one, brief glance had been quickly shut down, but not before Blair had seen and catalogued.  
  
He knew that look. His own eyes had mirrored back the exact same emotions.  
  
Want--need--love.  
  
His fingers gripped the steering wheel as he found himself stopping a little too quickly, a yellow light winking at him.  
  
Want--need--love.  
  
He rubbed his temple where Jim's breath had brushed him first, and his left leg shook slightly at the remembered warmth of Jim's body, so close to his, a knee sliding against his leg....  
  
He had it bad. No news there. But tonight, for the first time--he realized that Jim might have it bad too. That maybe Jim...?  
  
Maybe.  
  
Neither of them were strangers to same sex relationships, although, truth be known, Blair suspected his experiences outnumbered Jim's. But Blair had put his love life on hold many months ago when he realized that no one could hold a candle to James Ellison. The closest he'd come to any relationship had been Rachel Johnson. And that had been more of an unconscious reflex as a result of watching the exasperating mating dance exhibited by Jim and Megan than his own desires.  
  
Although, Katie...  
  
Blair reached over, his fingers lightly stroking Jake's hand and he smiled. Apparently he, Blair Sandburg, Mr. Bachelor For Life, had a soft spot. Who knew? Certainly not him. Children and animals had never exactly taken to him. Nor he to them.  
  
And now? His thumb rubbed a gentle circle over the small hand...  
  
He was caught-hook,line and sinker.  
  
Never once in thirty years, had he considered being a father. Even with Katie, the idea had been abstract, barely there, the merest whisper of a suggestion and only because he'd been reaching out to closest person, and that had been Rachel.  
  
The truth was that he'd deliberately closed himself off from any idea of being a father and he wasn't sure why. Maybe because of his own fatherless life, or the upbringing that had left him so self-sufficient, and in many ways, emotionally deficient. But whatever it was, the notion of carrying on the Sandburg gene had never taken root. He'd even considered the idea that no progeny, in this case, was good progeny.  
  
So what the hell had happened?  
  
Jake had happened.  
  
Oddly enough, he still had no desire to bring forth his own seed, but the feelings he'd been developing for the four-year-old were definitely fatherly. Protective--fiercely so. Proud and strutting his stuff like a peacock, as if he had produced Jake. Go figure. Because he sure couldn't.  
  
He turned into the alley behind the building and swung into his parking space, then cut the engine. For a few moments he gazed in wonder at the sleeping boy and a kind of heat spread through him along with a tightness in his jaw and he was suddenly having difficulty swallowing.  
  
God, he loved him. Already, he loved him. He unbuckled Jake and tenderly lifted him into his arms.  
  
*****  
  
Blair walked through the archway, inserted his key into the gate and swung it open. He guided it back to the locking position, careful not let it clang, then walked to his front door.  
  
Once inside, he moved to the spare bedroom where the Aero bed had been set up earlier that day. He tenderly lowered Jake and carefully removed his jacket and shoes. Blair tucked him in and as he'd done at Jim's, kissed the top of the boy's head.  
  
"Good-night, jake."  
  
*****  
  
Blair walked back out to the living room, started a fire, removed his jacket and tossed it on the back of the couch, then sat down. He was in no hurry to get to bed. In fact, bed was the last place he wanted to be.  
  
The fire caught and rose, the flames licking hungrily at the wood. The glow flickered over the floor, the table and the man seated before it. He didn't move, his eyes captive to the dancing shards of fire.  
  
*****  
  
"AW GOD!"  
  
God's response was to giggle and jump again.  
  
"Jake, are you up?  
  
A head peeked over Blair's body, eyes crinkled with laughter. "no. still asleep."  
  
"Well then, I appear to have a monster in my bed."  
  
"grogph, grrrrrrr..."  
  
"I need the Great Wizard Jake to save me! Somebody, quick, call the Great Wizard Jake before I'm eaten alive!"  
  
Jake tumbled over Blair's body to land safely in the man's arms.  
  
"i'm here, i'll save you!"  
  
"I am saved! Hallelujah," then Blair scrunched up his face and growled out, " and now I have you, Great Wizard Jake and I am the evil and dreaded Blairgorgon and it is my sworn duty to ruthlessly tickle you!"  
  
Fingers found every ticklish spot on the boy and the bedroom was filled with his giggles as he squirmed and kicked, trying valiantly to swat the evil tickle fingers away.  
  
"i need my wand and staff," he giggled out.  
  
"T 'is too late, Great Wizard!"  
  
Blair buried his face in Jake's neck and blew hard. "Take that, Great Wizard," he exclaimed jubilantly.  
  
Jake let his body go limp, feigning defeat. As Blair leaned over, Jake attacked, his own fingers digging in, finding a few ticklish spots of his own.  
  
Blair fell back, arms outstretched, holding in his laughter as he meekly surrendered to the Great Wizard.  
  
"Oh, Great Wizard, even without your magical wand and staff, you have bested this lowly monster, Blairgorgon. I surrender to your superior strength and wisdom. Take pity on me, and Mickey Mouse pancakes shall be yours!"  
  
Jake was on his feet in an instant, jumping up and down on the bed, clapping his hands as he crowed in victory.  
  
"oh goody, mickey mouse pancakes. i won, i won!"  
  
"Come on, scamp, let's get this show on the road. We've a whole lot to do today before Jim gets here."  
  
"my costume, my costume!"  
  
"Yep, and buying a pumpkin, and getting candy for giving out when we get back from your trick or treating--wait, we don't have to buy candy, we'll just give 'em yours!"  
  
Jake threw himself down over Blair's body, soliciting a loud OOF from the man. With fingers poised over Blair's stomach, Jake waggled his head and said, "nuh, huh, my candy is my candy!"  
  
Holding up his hands in mock fear, Blair shook and said, "Oh, okay, Great Wizard, but you did promise to share with Jim."  
  
"i'll share, always share, even with cherry, even when she never shares."  
  
Blair scooped him up and after giving him another raspberry on the neck, to delighted squeals, he got them both out of bed, robes on, and together they headed out to the kitchen.  
  
*****  
  
Jake poured more boysenberry syrup on the remaining Mickey Mouse ear and forked the whole thing into his mouth. Blair looked on and marveled at how watching a four-year-old shovel messy, gooey pancakes into their mouths could be so joyful. He shook his head helplessly.  
  
Jake swiped the last bit of syrup up with his finger and plopped said digit into his mouth, making a loud, satisfied, "mmmm" sound. Blair didn't even bother to look stern; Jake never would have bought it.  
  
"Me thinks the Great Wizard Jake is done."  
  
Jake sat back and nodded happily. "all done and all stuffted."  
  
"Stuffted?"  
  
"stuffted."  
  
"Well then, may this lowly defeated monster suggest that you take your plate and put it on the counter, then go get dressed?"  
  
Jake slid off the phone book, took the plate in both hands and carried it to the sink where, by standing on tiptoe, he carefully deposited it.  
  
Blair picked up his plate and both cups, and was just setting them in the sink when the doorbell rang.  
  
As Jake scampered off to his room to change, Blair opened the door to find one of his neighbors, Mrs. Carstairs, standing worriedly on his stoop.  
  
"Oh, Blair, I hope I didn't wake you?"  
  
Realizing that he was only in his robe, he shook his head and unconsciously tightened the belt.  
  
"No, just feeding Jake. What's up?"  
  
"I was hoping Karen left the plumber's number with you? My kitchen sink is clogged and Stu is out of town until Monday."  
  
Maxine Carstairs was in her forties, sweetly plump, fair-skinned and a natural redhead. Her husband Stu was an accountant with clients all over the state. Blair had learned early that she panicked easily when Stu was on one of his trips so he hastened to reassure her.  
  
"Look, why don't I check it out? Jake and I are going shopping a little later, but there's plenty of time to take a look. What do you say?"  
  
Her relief was almost palpable. "Oh, would you, Blair? I'd so appreciate it. Stu would just kill me if something went wrong."  
  
"No problem. I'll change, grab Jake, and we'll both be over in a few minutes."  
  
"Thank you, Blair."  
  
Twenty minutes later, tool box in hand, he and Jake knocked on the Carstairs' door, ready to do battle with a clogged sink.  
  
*****  
  
Jim was waffling. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, and he was waffling. God, how he hated indecision. He checked his watch again. Ten minutes later than the last time.  
  
Which made it eleven ten. He was supposed to be at Sandburg's around four. So, he'd be a little... early. There. Decision made. He grinned.  
  
*****  
  
He slid the truck next to the curb, put it in park and turned the key. But he didn't move, instead choosing to gaze out the window and up at the building. He'd never actually seen The Anjasmayo before, but he'd heard all about it from both Brown and Taggart, who'd helped Blair move.  
  
To this day, he regretted the chicken shit decision to take Carolyn up on the offer to fly to San Francisco for the wedding of an old friend of theirs on the same weekend that Blair was moving out. He knew damn well that under normal circumstances he'd have turned down the invitation, sent his best wishes and a gift, but otherwise, stayed in town--with Blair.  
  
Or Blair would have gone with him.  
  
Shouldn't that have been a clue, Great Sentinel of the City?  
  
Apparently not.  
  
He checked the time--eleven- thirty. He climbed out of the truck and it was only as he entered the lobby archway that it occurred to him that maybe Blair and Jake had already headed out to run their errands.  
  
God, he was a fool.  
  
He was about to turn around when he heard the unmistakable giggling. He peered through the gate and fixed the sound on apartment number two. He was about to buzz when a young man about Blair's age, came around the corner and unlocked the gate.  
  
"Hey, you visiting someone?"  
  
"Yes, Blair Sandburg. I'm his partner."  
  
The man stepped aside, holding the gate open for him. "Go on in and say hi to Jake for me."  
  
Walking past the guy, Jim nodded, saying, "Thanks and I will."  
  
The gate clanged shut and Jim headed for number two.  
  
How early was he? Oh, yeah--four and half hours. But who was counting.  
  
*****  
  
Jim entered the courtyard and paused, stunned by the beauty and peace of the small bit of paradise. Standing in the middle of the lovely courtyard, he turned slowly, taking it all in.  
  
His eyes feasted on the sun-dappled pond and gurgling fountain, its water bubbling up and over to spill back into the rippling water. Mesmerized, he gazed at the shade trees, shrubs and plants, at the brilliant fall colors, punctuated by the various turning leaves, at the blooming flowers and at the hummingbirds that sped to and from.  
  
The patches of bright green grass, sparkling in the sun, just begged for bare feet, while the scattered chairs invited privacy and meditation.  No wonder Blair loved this place.  
  
But above and beyond the beauty of this remarkable backyard was the silence. He breathed it in, then let it out in a contented sigh.  Floating in the background, just on the edge of his consciousness, Jim could hear Blair, but rather than jarring the peace of the courtyard, Blair's voice seemed to be a part of it. Natural, rhythmic, the sound of life. He followed it to apartment number two.  
  
The door was open, a screen the only barrier between Jim and the voice he craved. He rapped on the aluminum frame and a moment later, a woman greeted him, a portable phone in her hand.  
  
"Hi, what can I do for you?"  
  
"I'm Detective Jim Ellison and I'm looking for my partner, Detective Sandburg?"  
  
If she was surprised by his appearance outside her door, she didn't show it. Instead she gave him a huge, welcoming smile and pushed the screen door out, stepping aside to allow him entrance.  
  
"He's here, currently buried under my sink." At Jim's odd look, she hastened to add with a grin, "My sink is clogged and Blair is fixing it. Just go right in, to your left. I'm on the phone with my husband. If you're thirsty, help yourself. I've iced tea and sodas in the fridge."  
  
Jim followed her directions and stepped to the kitchen door. It was propped open and his first glance inside showed a pair of sneakers. He followed that up to the jean clad legs sticking out from under the sink.  
  
Blair's left leg was stretched out flat, his right leg bent at the knee, tennis shoe tapping the floor. Even under a sink, Blair moved to his own music. On the floor next to Blair sat a cross-legged Jake, elbows on knees, face braced by small, grease stained hands, blue eyes tracking every move Blair made.  
  
With a gentle smile playing about his lips, Jim watched a greasy, black smudged hand appear from under the sink as a disembodied voice said, "the wrench, Jake. It's the one that looks like a nutcracker."  
  
The boy lifted his head, looked about him, spotted the wrench, picked it up and happily placed it in the outstretched hand. The deep, thrumming voice mumbled, "thanks," and Jake responded with a happy, "welcome."  
  
Jim stepped in quietly, putting a finger to his lips to warn Jake not to give him away. Jake smiled back and nodded, then made a motion with his fingers, indicating the zipping of his mouth.  
  
A few clanging noises, a muttered shit and then the greasy hand appeared again. The wrench was set down and fingers wiggled. "the smaller wrench, Jake, that's the one that looks like a... short nutcracker."  
  
Jim knelt down behind Jake and picked up the requested item. He set it in the questing hand, saying, "Actually Jake, it looks like--Sandburg." The body under the sink jerked up, there was muffled thunk followed by a very unmuffled "fuck".  
  
Shaking his head hopelessly, Jake said, "bad blair."  
  
Jim rested his hand on the silky curls and added with great authority, "Yes Jake. Very bad Blair. Bad word, bad Blair."  
  
Bad Blair pushed himself out from under the nether regions of plumbing land and sat up, rubbing the top of his head.  
  
"Jeesh Ellison, you trying to kill me? And Jake, I did say a bad word and, even if my head was nearly decapitated, there was no excuse."  
  
Jim was in no way prepared for Blair Sandburg in the guise of handy man. For one thing, he'd never seen this version of Sandburg before and for another, since when did grease smeared on the Blair's hands, arms and face send Jim's libido skyrocketing?  
  
The man in question had his hair tied back, new silver wire-rimmed glasses on his nose, a white, sleeveless undershirt and jeans. With the grease and dirt, he looked like the centerfold for Plumbers Digest.  
  
Or Everyman's Wet Dream Digest.  
  
Or Jim Ellison's Continuous Playing Wet Dream.  
  
Jim cleared his throat, adjusted his jeans and in a voice that belied his need, asked, "How come you never fixed anything at the loft, Sandburg?"  
  
Blair scratched his head, checked his fingers, spotted a nice bit of grease and, as he threatened Jake by waving it under his nose, he answered matter-of-factly, "Nothing ever stayed broken long enough, Jim. You knew when something was clogged before the drain did."  
  
Jake scooted back, doing his best to avoid the stalking finger, shaking his head and giggling. Jim took pity, swooped down, picked him up and, after settling him against his chest, said, "Let's blow this joint, Jake, before we're both greasy messes. Why don't you show me the pond outside while Blair finishes up here, huh?"  
  
"goody! you can see my fishies. come on, let's go." He tugged at the collar of Jim's blue polo shirt.  
  
Blair blinked up the two, then harrumphed. "Deserters. Rats, both of you, deserting the sinking ship."  
  
Jim high-fived Jake as both said, "yep."  
  
*****  
  
Jim had seen the pond, had enjoyed Jake's introductions to all the fish as the boy had squatted down, hand trailing in the water, and now Jim was being led by the finger up the stoop and into Blair's apartment.  
  
Jake managed to pull open the screen and using both hands, turned the knob and pushed open the door. He stepped aside proudly and let Jim precede him inside.  
  
Ellison didn't have a chance to look around as Jake immediately latched onto his jeans and tugged him toward the far wall.  
  
"wat-usi mask. they gave it to blair because he made them laugh." Jake's fingers ran over the scary but noble visage of the carved wood, and the pride in Jake's voice was unmistakable. Like a son for a father's accomplishments.  
  
Jim was pushed further to the right to find himself facing the shield that had been a bone of contention between him and Blair in their early roommate days.  
  
"norubu used this to save blair's life. a charging," Jake scrunched up his face, his lips curling back, eyes narrowing to show a fierce beast, "rhino."  
  
Again, unmistakable pride.  
  
Jim knelt down next to the boy and slipping his arm around the child's waist, said, "Want to know a secret?"  
  
Jake's eyes grew round with anticipation as he nodded eagerly. "but i can tell blair, can't i?"  
  
Jim grinned. "He already knows." Then he pointed up the mask and said, "The Watusi gave that to Blair for his knowledge and assistance when a terrible brush fire threatened their cattle. Although, I suspect he did make them laugh." Jim then rested his left hand on the shield and lowering his voice said, "and it was Blair who saved _Norubu's_ life."  
  
He took Jake's right hand and ran it over the left edge, letting the boy feel the chips. "Blair used it like a Frisbee. He tossed it at the rhino, which gave him and Norubu time to climb a tree."  
  
Jake's blue eyes were now impossibly round as he hung on every word Jim spoke. His hand moved almost reverently over the shield.  
  
"wow."  
  
Grinning wide, Jim agreed. "Yeah, wow."  
  
Jim straightened and added, "Going to show me around?" He found his pant leg being tugged again and this time he was led to the dining room. Jim couldn't help the smile as he noticed the card table strewn with Blair's books, keys, papers, bills and checkbook.  
  
They walked through a swinging kitchen door and with a flourish, Jake waved his hand as he announced proudly, "that's where i sit. this morning, we had mickey mouse pancakes with boysenbury surup."  
  
Jim licked his lips and responded sadly, "All I had was a cold bagel." Looking crestfallen, Jake offered, "you can eat brekkie with us tomorrow, okay? and you are having lunch and dinner with us. we're having grilled cheese with parmshawn tonight."  
  
"No way I could turn that down, Jake."  
  
They were interrupted by Blair, who walked in and straight to the sink. As he turned on the faucet, he asked, "So Jake, did you give Jim the grand tour?"  
  
"yep. and i know a sekret."  
  
Scrubbing at his greasy hands and forearms, Blair whistled. "Oh, you do, do you? Am I allowed in on it?"  
  
Giggling, Jake responded, "you already know it."  
  
Jim reached over Jake's head, swiped a kitchen towel from a peg and handed it to Blair, saying, "Seems Jake didn't have all the facts regarding a certain mask and shield. I simply filled him in. And you missed a spot, Chief." He flicked his finger at Blair's chin and cheek where two long streaks of grease warred with his unshaven face. Jim pressed his thumb on Blair's nose and, to happy laughter from Jake, added, "And here, another spot." He rubbed as Blair waved his arms and tried to bat Jim's hand away.  
  
"Hey, give me a break. I was rescuing some pipes here, man." As he swatted, his hand brushed Jim's and both men paused. Once again their eyes caught, held, emotions flickering in blue depths. And once again, Jim looked away.  
  
Blair moved past him and asked with only a hint of sarcasm, "Uh, Jim, aren't you a bit early?"  
  
"A bit."  
  
Blair made a show of checking his watch and ticking off the hours on his fingers. "Gee, you're right. Only a bit.  Like... five, six hours."  
  
He dropped the towel back onto the peg and smiled down at Jake, who didn't look at all confused by the dialogue between Jim and Blair. "Why don't you show Jim your room?"  
  
"oh yeah! ya gotta see my room. please?"  
  
"Let's go, kid."  
  
"Why you two wax poetic over Tonka trucks, and Jake, make sure you show Jim _all_ of them, I'll jump in the shower, change and we'll head out for that costume." Blair gave Jim his best smirk as Jake led him out of the kitchen.  
  
*****  
  
Showered, shaved and dressed in clean blue jeans and a dark blue sweater, Blair walked into Jake's room. He wasn't surprised to find Jim sitting on the floor with his new roommate, both busy careening trucks around the floor.  
  
All Blair could think was that big, tough, macho Jim Ellison, Covert Ops, Sentinel of the Great City and once known as Slick and possessed of a goatee and a pierced ear... was playing with Tonka trucks and a four-year-old wunderkind named Jake.  
  
Where was a camera when he really needed one?  
  
A red and white truck slammed into his foot and making a sound like a siren, Blair announced in his best cop voice, "License and registration please?"  
  
"oops. jim isn't a very good driver."  
  
"I'm painfully aware of that fact, Jake. Think I should arrest him?"  
  
"ticket, then arrest him."  
  
Jim held up his hands and warned, "If arrested, I can't buy lunch for everybody at Toadies. Just thought I should mention that."  
  
Jake gazed up at Blair and said in a stage whisper, "think you should let him go if he promises to buy me a hot fudge sun-day?"  
  
"I don't know Jake. That borders on a bribe." He turned to Jim and said, "But if he promises to buy _both_ of us a hot fudge sundae, I'll let him go with only a stern warning."  
  
Jake got on his hands and knees, then waggling one eyebrow at Jim, offered, "jail or hot fudge?"  
  
"Tough one, Jake, but I'll go with--hot fudge sundaes all around. Let's go."  
  
*****  
  
They moved silently down the aisle.  
  
Occasionally they'd pause, Blair would point and Jake would shake his head. Every now and then, Blair would say, 'good decision, Hoss' and they'd continue on as Jim followed behind, a half-smile permanently fixed on his face.  
  
They'd come to the end of the last aisle, Jake's shoulders slumping, his feet shuffling. Still no mask.  
  
Jim rested a hand on the small, dejected shoulder. "Hey buddy, there are other stores. We'll find it."  
  
"second store -- no mask. gotta be the bestest, i saw it, i'll know it, but--but..."  
  
Blair stopped and stared, then quirked his head to the left. Slowly he reached out and buried his hand in the mélange of Halloween junk on the shelf in front of him. "Uh, Jake?"  
  
The boy glanced up and watched, amazed, as Blair drew out a rubber mask. The perfect rubber mask. He shook it out a bit, punched the rubber back into shape, combed his fingers through the long, white hair and then held it up for Jake.  
  
"oooooh."  
  
Small hands reached up and Blair let the anxious fingers take the mask. He and Jim watched as Jake turned it, inspected it, checked it out from every possible angle, then put it on.  
  
Two blue eyes blinked up at Blair from behind the visage of an ancient and powerful wizard. Albeit a _short_ , ancient and powerful wizard.  
  
"Show Jim."  
  
The great wizard Jake turned slowly and looked up expectantly.  
  
Jim stepped back and thoughtfully rubbed his chin and starting at the bottom, he mentally catalogued Jake's appearance.  
  
Ratty white tennis shoes, jeans that bunched at the ankles, a red tee shirt, two pale, skinny arms, long white hair and--a face that would have sent Merlin to his knees in hushed awe and wonder.  
  
Nodding in satisfaction and giving Jake a thumbs up, he suggested, "We need a cape, Oh Great Wizard. A long, black, swirling cape."  
  
Blair put his hand on Jake's shoulder and turned him around. "Or maybe--a long gray poncho, tied with a thick brown cord?"  
  
The Great Wizard nodded excitedly, barely containing his bounce as he rolled up on his toes and back down again.  
  
"Okay, let's get the candy and am-scray."  
  
"the poncho?" asked The Great Wizard.  
  
"At home, Oh Great Wizard Jake. Blairgorgon has just the thing in his closet. We shall steal it tonight, before he awakes."  
  
"make it so."  
  
Blair glanced up at Jim and smiled. "Too much Star-Trek TNG, you think?"  
  
"Definitely."  
  
Jake just giggled. Which sounded very strange coming from behind the face of a great wizard.  
  
*****  
  
The Volvo's backseat was filled with bags containing Halloween candy and the necessary decorations to transform both Blair's apartment and the courtyard into the appropriately spooky cemetery for Tuesday. Wedged into the corner sat Jim, knees scrunched almost to his chin and not minding one bit.  
  
They had one more stop before lunch. The Pumpkin Patch.  
  
Blair pulled into the large parking lot at the Cascade Falls Mall, drove to the back, found a parking space and swung in. After shutting down the engine, he turned to Jake, ready to unbuckle him, but the boy's face stopped him.  
  
Jake was gazing at the sight in front of him with rapt attention, mouth slightly open, lips formed into a silent o. Blair followed the hypnotic stare.  
  
The Pumpkin Patch covered almost one square mile of the back parking lot of the mall. For Halloween it was fenced off, and in the middle of the lot sat a huge red and white striped tent. Surrounding the tent sat hundreds of pumpkins.  
  
Small pumpkins, large pumpkins, squat pumpkins, misshapen pumpkins, fat pumpkins, tall, skinny pumpkins, decorated pumpkins, fake pumpkins. And surrounding the pumpkins were several colorful booths.  
  
One booth sold cooked turkey legs, one sold fruit flavored Slurpies, one booth sold cotton candy and popcorn, and several sold crafts and handmade goodies like jams, jellies, brownies, cakes and cookies. In the far corner sat the ultimate experience for any small child--a petting zoo.  
  
And to top it off, just outside the gate, a few feet from the Volvo, a hay wagon waited for a full load of children. Once full, the wagon, drawn by a dapple gray mare with a straw hat perched on her head, would travel around the parking lot before depositing its passengers back at the patch and reload.  
  
Blair got out and hurried around, torn between watching Jake or watching Jim trying to peel himself from the backseat of the Volvo. As Jim finally stood, stretched and un-kinked his back, Blair freed Jake from the car seat and set him down. The boy didn't move as he tried to take everything in all at once.  
  
"Ready to go in, Hoss?"  
  
One arm reached up, soon followed by the other and Blair correctly interpreted the move. He lifted Jake into his arms, but before settling him against his hip, he pointed up. Jake whispered, "please?" Blair immediately hoisted him up and over his head until two legs dropped down over his shoulders. Blair tilted his head back and asked, "You comfortable? You can see everything?"  
  
With hands gripping Blair's hair, Jake answered reverently, "yes. can we go in now?"  
  
"Who's the Great Wizard here?"  
  
Jake removed one hand from Blair's head and pointed toward the pumpkins as he commanded, "go forth, my trusty steed."  
  
Jim managed to contain himself until they passed several bales of hay, then he plucked out a few pieces and held them under Blair's nose. "Here you go, trusty steed. This should keep you going until lunch."  
  
"I'd say something rude, Ellison, but I have the Great Wizard Jake on my shoulders."  
  
Laughing, Jim held open the gate and the three entered pumpkinland.  
  
*****  
  
Jim held up a pumpkin and watched as Jake shook his head and pointed. Jim picked up another pumpkin. Blair made a twirling motion with his finger and Jim turned the pumpkin around in his hands. Jake shook his head and pointed again. Jim picked up that choice and watched unsurprised, as Jake turned that one down too.  
  
"Uh, Jim? Might I suggest you use your special pumpkin finding skills here? I just heard the distinct sound of a stomach growling. The natives are restless."  
  
"Right. Good idea, trusty steed."  
  
"Jim, don't walk behind me."  
  
Jim smirked, even as he trained his vision on the pumpkins. And was this a first? Using his Sentinel abilities to find the perfect pumpkin? Had to be.  
  
It took him all of five seconds before he spotted it. He rushed over, plucked it up from the middle pile of about twenty-five and held it up for inspection.  
  
"you found it!"  
  
Two collective sighs of relief followed the exclamation.  
  
They had seen every booth, purchased one cotton candy, split between the three of them and watched delightedly as Jake tasted the sweet, gooey concoction for the first time.  
  
They'd visited the petting zoo and fed the animals, Blair taking particular enjoyment as one goat took a liking to Jim and started following him, nibbling at his jacket between bouts of trying to hump him. Major Crime was going to hear about this first thing Monday morning. Oh, yeah.  
  
Jake had taken the hay ride, squealing in delight and now, finally, they had the perfect pumpkin which had the seat of honor, up front with Blair and Jake. Jim did another squeeze job into the back seat, and they were off for lunch at Toadies.  
  
*****  
  
Toadies was a parent hang-out, plain and simple and as Blair walked in, he gave a brief thought to how Jim had known about it.  
  
This was the place parents came to eat with other parents while the kids, using mallets, tried to kill small creatures that popped out of holes. There was a huge rubber room full of foam balls for the children to exorcise their demon energy, and in case that didn't do it, there was skittle ball and video games.  
  
While the children wreaked havoc in the controlled environment, parents could sit at benches, guzzle beer, eat pizza, burgers, meatball sandwiches, and gourmet pastas.  Topics ranged from gossip, shop and make-up to whose kid was smarter, who took their first step the earliest, who was still wetting the bed and who could read a full sentence before they were six months. In other words--parent heaven.  
  
For Blair, it was just weird and for Jim, it was--loud. And bright. And kids were running loose everywhere.  Blair put his hand on Jim's back and whispered, "you know the drill, Ellison." Jim nodded, closed his eyes a moment, worked his magic and sighed in relief. Blair shook his head in amazement. Even after all this time, Jim still had to be reminded that he could dial things down.  
  
For Jake, Toadies was _everything_. His head moved from side to side, eyes skittering to his left, his right, to the floor, the ceiling, following other children as they ran past laughing and giggling, then going back as large, live stuffed animals walked through the restaurant, passing out balloons.  
  
A large purple rabbit stopped in front of Jake and handed him a bright yellow balloon. Surprised, he took it as amazed blue eyes followed the string up to the round, swaying Mylar. Blair grinned and immediately knelt in front of him, took the string and tied it around Jake's wrist.  
  
"There, now you won't lose it. When we get settled, we'll tie it to the table, okay?"  
  
Jake nodded, temporarily overwhelmed and speechless. Jim was busy searching the crowded room for a table and finally spotted one. He indicated the direction with a jerk of his head, and they moved carefully through the masses to the table and benches. Jake, who'd been holding tight to Blair's hand, now scrambled happily up and perched on his knees, elbows on the table. Blair slid in beside him as Jim took the opposite bench.  
  
"So, what's good here?"  
  
"According to Mike Evans in Burglary, the pizza is actually edible."  
  
Blair gave Jim a strange look as he realized that the man had actually asked someone about this place, then shrugged his shoulders, thinking that such an action was, in reality, typical Ellison behavior. He turned his attention to Jake and queried, "Good for you, Hoss?"  
  
"pizza, cheese pizza! gooey, cheesy, yummy!"  
  
"Jim, I'd say the vote swings to pizza. How 'bout we get a half and half?"  
  
"You willing to go with everything on our half?"  
  
"Sounds good to me." Blair glanced around and noted how close they were to the counter where drinks were ordered. "Why don't you order the pizza and I'll get the drinks?"  
  
"what do i do?" Jake asked plaintively.  
  
Blair ruffled his hair and said, "You guard the table of course."  
  
"i can do that," he said proudly, followed by, " i'll guard; you buy."  
  
"Deal."  
  
The two men headed off in opposite directions, both keeping an eye on the table and Jake.  
  
Blair returned before Jim, a pitcher of root beer in one hand and a frosty mug of beer in the other with two empty mugs dangling from one finger. He really could have used a beer--or two or three--but he was driving and he knew damn well Jim needed one.  
  
He set everything down, then poured for himself and Jake, sliding Jake's drink to him. Jake wrapped both hands around the cold mug and drank long and deep. Blair watched with amusement as the boy swiped his hand over his mouth when he was done and started to reach for the pitcher.  
  
"Let me, Oh Great Wizard." He poured again, but Jake's attention was now focused on the big container of balls and kids. He took another swallow, his eyes never leaving the bouncing, tumbling children.  
  
"It's going to be awhile before the pizza's done, why don't you join them?"  
  
Jake's head moved half-way, wary eyes darting between Blair and the playing children. "It's okay," Blair added encouragingly, "Go ahead. We'll be right here."  
  
Jake blinked a couple of times, then slipped off the bench. He stood a moment, uncertain, then began to walk slowly toward the big bubble room. Half way, he stopped and looked back.  Blair just smiled. Jake continued his journey.  
  
By the time Jim sat back down, a ticket for their meal in his hand, Jake was standing in front of the bubble, one hand resting against the clear plastic.  "He looks a little... lonely. Maybe we should go over there, Chief."  
  
Blair swallowed his soda and shook his head. "Nah, he'll be fine."  
  
Jim wasn't so sure. From everything Blair had told him, Jake's interaction with other children was limited and only a few months old. He felt a nervous flutter in his stomach as he watched the boy. Jake had never looked so alone or vulnerable. "I really think we should--"  
  
"Jim," Blair admonished, "put a sock in it. Look."  
  
Jim turned back and nearly choked. Jake was inside the bubble, jumping up and down, laughing and giggling, arms waving madly as he played with two other boys. They fell, tumbled, wrestled, tossed the balls at each other and dove for cover.  
  
"Well, fuck."  
  
"Bad Jim."  
  
*****  
  
The pizza platter now held only a few crusts, the pitcher was empty and small silver bowls that had once contained Toadies Super Sundaes had been nearly licked clean. Jake had a perfect circle of fudge around his mouth and, as Jim leaned over to clean him up, Jake burped. Jim's hand froze, then he quirked an eyebrow. "Surely you can do better than that?"  
  
Jake took a deep breath and burped again. Louder.  
  
From the right, another burp county was heard from as Blair added his. Jake giggled, then looked expectantly over at Jim.  
  
"Yes, well--"  
  
"Jim...," Blair said, warning in his voice.  
  
"Uh, well...," he sucked in his stomach and out rolled one, fine and handsome burp. Blair quickly checked to see if anyone was calling the burp police and, when all seemed quiet, he added his super-duper burp.  
  
Jake clapped excitedly, bouncing on the bench, then lifted Blair's arm high and announced, "the winnah!"  
  
"Aw, shucks. It's nothing."  
  
Jim stuck out his tongue.  
  
*****  
  
The fire blazed before them, providing the only light in the apartment. Jim sat on the couch, Blair at the other end. Both men were exhausted.  Jim knew he should get up, go home, but his tired limbs simply refused to move. Besides, he was comfortable. Very comfortable. Too comfortable.  
  
They had finished the day with a short visit to the park and Blair finally met the famous Cherry, who was four months older than Jake. She had silky black curls, huge brown eyes and milk chocolate skin. Her grin was infectious and she bossed Jake around unmercifully, which he thoroughly enjoyed. Cherry's mother, Makeba, was Blair's age and Cherry was her second child. Her husband Terry was a fireman at the Twenty-third Firehouse.  
  
After an hour of watching the two children play and sharing horror stories with Makeba, Jim and Blair had finally taken their leave and headed home with a very exhausted Jake. Once inside, everyone collapsed; Jake falling asleep while curled up between the two men on the couch, the day finally catching up to him.  
  
It wasn't until five, when the phone rang, that they stirred again. Karen was calling, full of _almost_ good news. Apparently Diane was doing much better, wanted to clean herself up and was even talking about coming back to Washington with Karen. She and Blair had talked for several minutes, as she discussed how best to handle a future for Jake that might suddenly include his mother again.  
  
Then Blair had put Jake on the phone and 'Gammy' heard all about costumes, pumpkins, goats, cotton candy, decorations and Toadies.  
  
"i got pizza in my hair and cherry was jealous, i could tell, gammy," Jake had told her. She'd laughed at his tales of the day, praised his choice of mask and told him he'd better make sure Blair took several pictures of him on Tuesday, just in case she didn't get back in time. He promised and added that perhaps, if she didn't get back in time, maybe he should just recreate Trick or Treating for her? And maybe, she could give him candy? Laughing hard, missing him terribly, she told him that was a great idea.  
  
They finally said good-bye and Blair promised to take the pictures.  He confirmed that  everything was set for Jake to be with Maggie during the weekdays.  Karen sounded very relieved that Jake would be with Blair at night until she returned.   She'd ended the conversation oddly, telling Blair that she knew Jake would always be in good hands as long as he was with Blair.  
  
After hanging up, the promised grilled cheese sandwiches, coated with 'parmshawn' were made, along with corn chowder.  All three men had eaten at the kitchen table and then cleaned up. Jake had been given his bath, put into pajamas and once clean, warm and with his wet hair slicked down, he'd talked Jim into a game of "Go Fish."  
  
Big mistake. Jim was thoroughly trounced and Blair smirked.  
  
Now Jake was tucked into bed, sound asleep, and the two men were alone.  Jim turned to look at Blair and found him smiling as he watched the fire. "What's so funny, Chief?"  
  
"Just thinking--not your typical Saturday, huh?"  
  
"Oh, and it's yours, wise guy?"  
  
"Well, yeah, lately. I've been spending quite a few weekends and evenings with Jake and his grandmother."  
  
"So he's the reason you kept begging off from coming over?"  
  
"You could say so."  
  
Ignoring that for a minute or a month, Jim decided to steer the conversation into a safer harbor.  
  
"I'm looking forward to meeting Karen. She sounds like one terrific lady."  
  
"She is. It's been a rough life for her. She's a Porter by marriage, married Ken Porter when they were in college. They both grew up together, right here on this street. She never wanted anyone else."  
  
Jim didn't miss the note of almost--envy, that had crept into his friend's voice. "Must have been hard when he died."  
  
Blair nodded. "Yeah, very. And especially hard on Diane. She and her father were very close. Diane really went into a rebellious stage that got out of control quickly. The next thing Karen knew, Diane was gone and you know the rest."  
  
Jim gazed back at the fireplace, then let his eyes roam over the apartment. "I really like this place, Sandburg. It's--comfortable."  
  
Blair smiled smugly. "Clean too, eh, Jim?"  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"Did you note that I'm using white and green Tupperware?"  
  
"You really are a dickwad."  
  
"And no pipes. Jake can flush anytime he wants. When he remembers to flush, that is."  
  
"I distinctly recall that you had that problem too."  
  
"Fuck you, Ellison and this insult from a guy whose aim left a great deal to be desired? And what's with that anyway? You are a sentinel, I'd have thought you could pee circles around the rest of us poor mortals. Hell, Jake has better aim."  
  
"At least I remembered to use the spray, Einstein."  
  
"Jim, you needed to use the spray."  
  
They stared each other down, then burst into laughter.  When the laughing dwindled to chuckles, Jim said, "I should be going." He rose reluctantly and took his jacket from the back of the couch.  
  
Slipping it on, he moved toward the front door, Blair following. As he reached for the knob, he turned and looked around, then down at his partner. "Seems strange, doesn't it?"  
  
"A little. But no more so than last night, leaving the loft. And at least you finally saw the new digs."  
  
"Yeah, yeah I did." He made no move to open the screen as he searched Blair's face. "Still...," he smiled in memory as he continued, "I remember the first time Caro came over after the divorce. It was our attempt to discover if we could remain friends, still work together. We had spaghetti, talked, the usual, you know?  Then she left. It wasn't strange at all. Why is this so different?"  
  
Blair shrugged, then suggested, "You and Carolyn were together less than two years and from what you've said, she was never comfortable in the loft. Maybe that's why."  
  
Jim pushed open the screen while still facing Blair and asked, "But you were?"  
  
Blair's body unconsciously swayed toward Jim. "Yes, I was comfortable there."  
  
"Even with all the rules?"  
  
"Even with all the rules."  
  
They were standing close, leaning... and Jim stepped out. Letting the screen door close behind him, he smiled mischievously. "What are we doing tomorrow?"  
  
"Decorating, of course. And need to get Jake a staff. I have an old wooden pointer that Dr. Stoddard gave me many moons ago, that will work as a wand, but the staff..."  
  
"How about that walking stick Brother Marcus gave you? You still have it, don't you?"  
  
Blair snapped his fingers, "Hell, how could I have forgotten? Man, that would be perfect. It's around here somewhere."  
  
"Problem solved. So what's for breakfast? I've heard rumors of Mickey Mouse pancakes."  
  
Blair made a face and shook his head. "Trust me, Ellison, you don't want to go there. They were ug-lee."  
  
Chuckling, Jim said, "Jake seemed to love them."  
  
"Well, he's very tolerant of my efforts. Brave too."  
  
"Suppose I bring the bacon and potatoes?"  
  
"Can't pass that up."  
  
Jim gave a small salute and turned away. Blair watched him walk across the courtyard and through the archway. Shaking his head, he shut the door.  
  
So, he was wrong. What he'd felt had obviously simply been a lonely thing for Jim.  
  
Or maybe an 'I hate change' thing. Maybe even a 'Jake' thing. Whatever it was, it wasn't a 'Sandburg' thing.  
  
He turned off the gas to the fire, letting the retreating glow serve as his only source of illumination, then stood a few moments, drinking in the sight of fading embers because going to bed was the last thing he wanted to do.  
  
Suddenly he needed to be outside. He walked to his door and stepped out, breathing in the fresh air and letting the soothing calm of the garden wash over him.  
  
It was October cold, but he barely registered that fact as his thoughts turned inward. He strolled across the garden, accepting the fact that Jim would never--then he spotted Jim's truck, parked by the curb. He craned his neck and sure enough, Jim was there, behind the wheel, but not moving.  
  
Shit. He almost ran through the archway and as he opened the gate, the silhouette that was Jim, shifted. Blair skidded to a stop, took a deep, relieved breath and, adopting a more nonchalant posture, sauntered over to the driver's side of the truck. Jim rolled down the window.  
  
"For a minute there, I thought you were taking a quick trip to sentinel la-la land, Jim."  
  
"No, no, just thinking. Regrouping, energizing myself for the drive home."  
  
"Um, naturally. Long trip. What, eight minutes, tops?"  
  
"In heavy traffic, yeah."  
  
The vibes were there. Blair hadn't been wrong. With deliberate ease, he leaned in and rested his arms on the door. "You haven't had any problems with your senses, have you? That you somehow failed to mention?" He moved closer.  
  
"I'd tell you, Sandburg." Jim's voice was soft, his words a promise.  
  
"Good, good." Then he did it. He snaked his right arm around Jim's neck, cupped the man's head with his hand and pulled him forward until their lips were centimeters apart. Waiting for the signal that would tell him this was unwanted, he held his breath. The signal never came. Blair took the kiss.  
  
It was an easy kiss, but by no means casual. Blair had too much to say. His fingers tightened, rubbing over the short hair as his mouth contacted first Jim's lips, then his tongue. The angle was perfect, if slightly uncomfortable for Blair, but he really didn't care because he was kissing Jim. And Jim was kissing him back.  
  
It was Blair who pulled away first, but not before letting his tongue run over Jim's bottom lip in a proprietary manner. "Breakfast is early. Jake, you know."  
  
Jim licked over the lip that Blair had just marked as his and chuckled. "Right. Early." He started the engine, feeling euphoric, hit the lights and watched amazed, as Blair stepped away, hands in his pockets. Jim pulled out and headed down the street, grinning like a loon and whistling.  
  
He turned on the radio as he looked in his rear-view mirror, watched Blair step onto the curb and walk back into the building.  He started singing under his breath as someone sang about 'this kiss, this kiss'....  
  
*****  
  
Supremely satisfied with himself, Blair walked into his home and locked up  Before going into his own room, he went into Jake's.  The boy slept not unlike Blair himself. Sprawled out, blankets jumbled at the foot of the bed.  But unlike Blair, Jake slept warm; his body heat providing warmth even on a cold fall night.  
  
Blair rested his hand on Jake's forehead, then brushed a few short, slightly damp curls from the boy's face. Jake was going to have the devil's own time trying to tame that mass as he got older, and Blair should know.  
  
Bestowing the now usual nighttime kiss on the warm cheek, Blair whispered, "I love you, Jake."  
  
*****  
  
Jim got all the way upstairs and into bed before it hit him. Under normal circumstances, he'd have noticed the absence of Blair immediately. But not tonight.  
  
Tonight, Blair clung too heavily to every part of Jim Ellison. He could still feel the man's hand on the back of his head, stroking his short, bristly hair, and the slightly chapped lips on his, and-- _god_ \--that silky tongue...  
  
No, Blair was here; his scent clinging to him, his body heat still resonating against Jim's skin.  
  
He'd tried so hard, in the last weeks, to get Blair to come over under the guise of watching a game, or working on the new stereo cabinet or any other excuse he could think up, so that he'd have that scent; so the loft wouldn't seem so empty. Because Blair would have sat on the couch, hugged one of the pillows, used the bathroom, wiped his hands on a towel, used utensils in the kitchen, plates, silverware, cups, touched things, leaving his scent behind...  
  
For Jim.  So that the minutes and hours and days alone could be survived. But now--damn, that man could kiss.  
  
He dropped onto the bed, only now becoming aware that he'd stripped, that his clothes lay in a heap on the floor and he grinned. He had absolutely no intention of picking them up. None. He ran his finger over his lips and he could feel the trace of moisture that belonged to Blair, the heat, the taste and, at that moment, Jim Ellison loved being a sentinel.  
  
It was only as he was slipping under the sheet that he realized he'd be in bed with Sandburg right now, if Sandburg had still been rooming with him. And yet, this was all right. They both knew where they were headed. They were both on the same page--finally.  
  
For the first night in many nights, Jim Ellison slept soundly.  
  
*****  
  
Blair lay on his back, hands behind his head. He'd done it. Man, oh, man, had he!  
  
He smiled in the dark.  
  
*****  
  
Jim stepped into the shower and noticed his mouth was sore from all the stupid grinning he'd been doing. He hadn't stopped. It felt just like his early memories of Christmas mornings--before things went bad.  
  
The excitement, the waking up early, sneaking downstairs, stealing a peek at the tree and all the gifts that hadn't been there when he and Steven had gone to bed. Then the race back upstairs, bursting into their parents' bedroom, getting them up at the ungodly hour...  
  
He rinsed, shut the water off, stepped out, dried himself, then stood in front of the mirror, wet towel on the floor at his feet. He wiped the mirror with his hand and wasn't surprised to see that he was still grinning. He brushed his teeth, shaved and applied his aftershave. He gazed at his reflection with a critical eye and decided that Blair knew exactly what he was getting. He grinned even wider.  
  
Green polo shirt, old jeans, sneakers, no socks. He fastened his watch and headed downstairs.  Jim grabbed a stored paper bag and immediately filled it with the package of bacon and several potatoes. He checked his watch. Right on time.  
  
Giving a final glance around, he picked up his jacket and headed out.  
  
*****  
  
"when?"  
  
"Any minute, Jake. Keep your shirt on."  
  
Jake ran to the front door and opened it again. He was still in pajamas and, as he threw open the door, he shivered at the blast of cold air. But no Jim. Still. He peered out, double checking, but still no Jim. He started to open the screen door, but a large, warm hand on his stopped his action.  
  
"I don't think so, Hoss. He'll be here when he gets here. And it's early. Very early. Besides, we have a staff and a wand to find."  
  
The blond head jerked up, eyes suddenly wide. "staff? wand?"  
  
"Well, sure. They're somewhere in this place. Staffs and wands automatically know where to go, you know. We've just got to find them."  
  
"where, where, where?"  
  
Smiling fondly down at the upturned face, Blair took on a very serious expression. "Well, you are the wizard. Go hunting, my man."  
  
Uncertain, Jake glanced around him. "where do I start?"  
  
"Um, try closets, drawers, wherever you think they may be in hiding from Blairgorgon."  
  
"how will i know--i mean..."  
  
"Oh Great Wizard, I suspect that you'll know when you find them."  
  
He smiled as Jake's face lit up and the boy took off, his stocking feet padding across the floor. Or should that be thundering across the floor?  
  
Blair had found everything late last night and as he'd held the staff he'd used to take out a baddie while on vacation at St. Sebastian's, he'd gotten the clever idea of hiding both the staff and the pointer for Jake, then sending him on a little scavenger hunt. Seeing Jake's smile just then had made it worth the extra effort and the few missing minutes of sleep last night.  
  
He just hoped that both items matched Jake's imagination--his existing vision of the staff and wand. He knew the boy had both already pictured in his mind and if these didn't do it...  
  
He heard a cupboard slam shut, then a closet being slid open. He cocked his head and listened....  
  
Boxes being shoved aside, shoes being tossed.  Grinning, he realized he was going to have a mess later.  
  
Finally, a war cry. "i found it, i found it!!"  
  
He heard the sound of small feet running.   Jake skidding to a stop, his wand in both hands, holding it carefully, as if it were made of glass. He looked up at Blair, his expression a mixture of awe and supreme happiness. "my wand, blair, my wand."  
  
Blair nodded solemnly. "I do believe so. Certainly looks like the wand of a Great Wizard, doesn't it?"  
  
Curls bouncing, Jake nodded vigorously. Then small fingers traced over the wood and he gave it an experimental shake and twirled it a bit.  "mine," he breathed out.  
  
"Um, no staff though?"  
  
Blue eyes grew huge, then Jake zipped around and disappeared down the hall leaving a chuckling Blair behind. He found himself listening again, knowing that Jake would check all over...  
  
...and the war cry erupted yet again.  "blair!!!"  
  
He walked hurriedly down the hall to his room and wasn't the least surprised to find Jake on his hands and knees by his bed. On the floor in front of him was the walking stick from St. Sebastian's. Jake looked up at him and said reverently, "it was under the bed, blair. under the bed."  
  
"Amazing."  
  
Jake stood and held it with both hands and Blair felt the first stirrings of disappointment. It was too big. Too damn big. It almost dwarfed the kid. Mind working furiously, he wondered if Jim could use some of the equipment at the loft.  "Powerful staff, Jake. Think it needs a little... fine-tuning?"  
  
Frowning, Jake repeated, "fine tuning?"  
  
"Well, staffs are like... I mean, they have to fit their owner, you know? So most wizards have to fine-tune them, so to speak."  
  
Jake was holding on to the large, gnarled stick and now his glance flicked from it to Blair and back again as he asked, "how?"  
  
Blair scratched his chin, mind wrapping itself around this unexpected problem. Then, the light bulb came on.  
  
"Well, most great wizards have apprentices, you know? And these apprentices work on the staff, making it longer or... shorter, or fatter, or whatever their great wizard requires."  
  
Jake, instead of being happy at this news, looked suddenly very sad. "but i don't have an ap--ap--"  
  
"Ap-pren-tice."  
  
"a-pren-tis."  
  
"Well sure you do. Jim."  
  
The clouds scurried away as the sun came out on the suddenly smiling face. "jim."  
  
"Yep, Jim."  
  
Now Jake regarded the staff with a discerning eye, gazing at it, taking it in from top to bottom.  
  
Then he pronounced, "i shall have my a-prentis make it... shorter."  
  
"Excellent decision, Great Wizard Jake."  
  
"my room?"  
  
Understanding what he was being asked, Blair nodded, then queried, "May I, Oh Great Wizard, be allowed to carry your staff for you?"  
  
Jake held it out with both hands, saying, "you may."  
  
*****  
  
Blair was helping Jake get dressed when the phone rang. Before he could move to answer, Jake beat him to it. He ran down the hall in only his underwear, threw himself on Blair's bed and picked up the phone.  
  
"jim, jim, you coming?"  
  
" _Honey?_ "  
  
"gammy!" His voice rose excitedly as Blair skidded to a stop by the bed.  
  
 _"How are you, gumdrop?"_  
  
"i'm fine, gammy and guess what i found this morning?"  
  
 _"What?"_  
  
"my wand and my super, duper staff!"  
  
 _"Why, that's a miracle, Jake!"_  
  
"blair says they know where to go, where great wizards live, gammy! and he's right, they were right here!"  
  
There was a slight pause, then Karen's voice floated back to her grandson.   _"Honey, Blair's right, absolutely right. Is he there, sweetie?"_  
  
"right here, gammy. when are you coming home? will you be here for halloweeny?"  
  
 _"I'll try, sweetheart, I'll try, but if not, like you said, we'll take a do over, okay?"_  
  
"promuse?"  
  
 _"Promise. Can you put Blair on now?"_  
  
Without thinking, Jake, not practiced in phone etiquette, nodded his head and handed the phone over his shoulder to Blair, who stood grinning down at him. Blair took the offered receiver and chuckling, said, "Say good-bye Gammy."  
  
"good-bye gammy!"  
  
As he put the receiver up to his ear, he could hear Karen's laughter. Jake scrambled from the bed and Blair could hear the bare feet thundering down the hall and out into the living room.  
  
"Hang on a minute, Karen." Putting his hand over the receiver he yelled, "Hoss, don't you dare open that front door! You hear me? Jim isn't going to come any faster just because you keep opening the door. Now get yourself back in here."  
  
He was still chuckling when he finally turned his attention to Karen.  
  
"Sorry, Karen. He's kind of anxious. Jim is due any minute and we're going to do that decorating today."  
  
 _"You found all the other supplies I told you about?"_  
  
"Yep, and what we couldn't find, we bought. This is going to be some scary graveyard. And yes, we'll take loads of pictures. Don't worry. Any idea of when you'll be heading back?"  
  
 _"Not really, Blair."_  
  
Hearing something new in her voice, Blair sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers tightening on the phone. "What's wrong, Karen?"  
  
 _"Diane is... getting nervous. She's afraid to come home, afraid of, as she says, dealing with Jake. She's withdrawing right before my eyes."_  
  
"God, I'm sorry, Karen. Anything I can do? If you need help or company?"  
  
 _"No, but thank you, Blair. Knowing that Jake is with you is all the help I need right now. You do understand that, don't you?"_  
  
"Yeah, I do. And he's fine, Karen, other than missing you."  
  
 _"God, how I miss him. That's the real problem I'm having with all this, Blair. That Diane can't see what she's missing. What she's giving up if she doesn't make this move, take this chance, you know?"_  
  
"I know," he whispered. He didn't understand Jake's mother either, but the dread he'd been feeling... he understood that only too well.  He was afraid. Of losing Jake. He shoved the feeling--a feeling he had no right to--down as deep as he could and smiled. "She'll come around, Karen, I'm sure of it. She'll make the right decision."  
  
 _"I pray you're right, Blair. I'll call tomorrow, okay?"_  
  
"We'll be here. I'll be dropping him off with Maggie at about seven and picking him up around six."  
  
 _"Maybe I'll call him at Maggie's then, surprise him."_  
  
"Good idea."  
  
 _"Give him a kiss for me and we'll talk tomorrow."_  
  
"Will do."  
  
They said their good-byes.  Worried about the sudden silence in the apartment, Blair wandered first into Jake's room and found it empty, then walked into the living room. What greeted him, froze him to the spot.  
  
Jake sat in the middle of the floor, cross-legged, face in hands, still in only his underpants, staring at the front door.  
  
Shaking his head in amazement, Blair slowly dropped down on his hands and knees. With great stealth, he began to crawl toward the unsuspecting wizard. As he drew closer, he let out a low, rumbling growl. Jake's head whipped around and, spotting the Blairgorgon coming for him, he immediately got on his hands and knees and scrunching up his face, yowled back.  
  
Blair circled cautiously, making like he was sniffing the air and Jake imitated his actions.  
  
The two circled each other, heads dipping, then stretching upward to growl at the ceiling....  
  
Then Jake pounced. He latched onto Blair's neck and brought the man down.  Moments later, they were rolling and laughing as Blair tickled Jake who giggled helplessly.  
  
Blair buried his face in Jake's neck and blew against the skin, which set Jake off into more giggles. In one fluid motion, Blair had Jake in his arms and was rising. "AH, HA, got you now, Great Wizard."  
  
"not fair, no wand, no wand!" Jake protested, grinning and wiggling.  
  
"No clothes either, young wizard. Let's get you dressed."  
  
Blair carried him into the bedroom and dropped him with great aplomb onto the bed. Jake bounced and giggled again as Blair picked up the jeans. Shaking them in front of the boy, he entreated, "Come on, wizards must dress for decorating and company!"  
  
The next five minutes were spent getting on jeans, a red and white striped shirt, socks and the only shoes Jake would wear; his old, ratty white tennis shoes.  
  
Taking Jake's hand, Blair led him into the bathroom and after putting the lid down on the toilet, he set Jake on top, grabbed their toothbrushes, wet them, then squirted the gooey stuff over the bristles. He handed the small one to Jake, who happily took it, and in perfect synchronization, they brushed, Jake emulating every move of Blair's.  
  
As the white foam bubbled over and streamed down Jake's chin, Blair filled a small, yellow dinosaur cup with water and held it out. "Swish and spit, wizard."  
  
Jake swished, then spit, then swished and spit again. Blair did the same with his cup, conscious of the fact that sticking his head under the faucet and slurping the water before spitting, might not set a very good example.  
  
After wiping mouths, Jake looked up imploringly and Blair relented. He lifted Jake onto the counter, perching him on the edge of the sink. As Jake watched, Blair started to shave.  
  
Oddly enough, Jim had always used an electric razor, but early in their studies of Jim's senses, Blair had discovered that one of the sentinel's sensory problems had been the vibration so they'd changed him over to manual labor. It seemed somehow natural for Blair to do the same. In all truth, he now got a much closer shave which, with his beard, was important. Not to mention, Jake loved to watch.  
  
As he lifted his head to stroke up his jaw, he noticed that Jake's head lifted automatically, eyes taking in every move. Before wiping off the excess lather, he turned slightly and quickly removed the blade. He picked up the can of shaving cream and held it out to Jake. With awe, the boy held out his hands, cupping them together. Blair squirted a small mound into the eager palms and watched with delight as Jake smeared it over the lower half of his face. Then Blair handed him the bladeless razor.  
  
Slowly and meticulously, Jake shaved his face, his actions almost a perfect mirror of Blair's earlier moves. When he was done, Blair gave him the cloth and Jake wiped up the residue. A little cold water, another wipe, then Blair poured a bit of aftershave into Jake's waiting hand, then his own. Together they patted it on. Blair leaned over and sniffed Jake's face.  
  
"Mmm, you smell good, Hoss."  
  
"gonna make cherry swoon."  
  
"The ladies will fall, Hoss, totally."  
  
Blair cleaned up a bit, then before picking Jake up and depositing him on the floor, he warned, "Remember, young man, you don't touch the razor without me, right?"  
  
"promuse. only with you."  
  
"Okay, that's my man."  
  
He lifted, but before Blair could put him down, Jake wrapped his legs around his waist and arms around Blair's neck. He leaned in and sniffed loudly. "you smell scrumchus too."  
  
"Bodies swooning all over the place?"  
  
"yep." Jake buried his head under Blair's neck in a sudden show of emotion. His small arms tightened and he breathed out, "luv you."  
  
Rubbing Jake's back and nuzzling the soft curls, Blair answered back, "Love you too, welp."  
  
*****  
  
Jim walked through the courtyard and once again, a warm, cozy peace stole over him. Other than Blair's room, Jim had never experienced anyplace that could soothe him like this building.  
  
As he approached Blair's door, it flew open and Jake squealed, "he's here, blair, he's here!"  Jake pushed the screen door open and, moments later, Jim's arms were full.  
  
"Hey, I get the feeling you're glad to see me."  
  
"wait 'til you see what i found this morning!"  
  
Jim stepped inside to find Blair standing in the middle of the living room, eyes roving up and down Jim's body as if he were... a beefstick.  
  
"Morning, Beefstick."  
  
"Morning Lamb--"  
  
"Say it, and you're dead meat, Ellison."  
  
Jim grinned. "Morning, Chief."  
  
The wiggling in his arms signaled that Jake wanted down. He lowered him with one arm, his eyes never leaving Blair's. Jake ran into his room, grabbed up his wand and hurried back to Jim; proudly presenting him with Blair's old pointer.  
  
"found it. my magik wand."  
  
"Can I touch it, Jake?"  
  
"you're my a-prentis, course you can."  
  
Jim gave Blair a quizzical look only to receive a mischievous grin in response.  
  
"O-kay, I'm your apprentice." Juggling the bag of groceries, he took the offered wand and appeared to test it, held it in the soft curve between his thumb and finger as if ensuring the weight was proper.  "I'd say you have the best wand in the business, Jake." He handed it back, Jake taking it proudly.  
  
"i knew it was purr-fect."  
  
"Maybe now would be a good time to show your apprentice your staff?"  
  
Jake nodded and took off. As he disappeared down the hall, Blair moved quickly, intending to embrace Jim, but Ellison moved faster. As Blair's arms went out to wrap around Jim's waist, Jim thrust the bag of groceries into them. Smirking, he said, "Apprentice?"  
  
"Dick."  
  
Jim clucked and shook his head. "Even after all this time, you can't get your table legs straight.  I'm Jim."  
  
"Dickwad."  
  
"No, Jim Ellison, you schmuck."  
  
Blair slapped his forehead and said, "Got it. How could I forget? Detective Jim Ellison. All you buff dudes look alike, you know? So hard to keep you all straight."  
  
"Yeah, I can see where keeping us straight would be hard."  
  
"Ooh, king of the double entendres today, eh?"  
  
"Go peel potatoes, Sandburg."   
  
"I don't do no potatoes, man. You bring home the bacon, you fry it up, plus the potatoes. You are woman, hear Jim Ellison roar."  
  
"You're going to pay for that, _big_ time, Sandburg."  
  
Blair pointed to the kitchen. Jim went. He'd have flipped him the bird, but there was a four-year-old in the house. Who stopped him just shy of the kitchen door.  
  
"here it is," Jake said proudly.  
  
Jim set the bag down on the card table and inspected the held out staff. He took it from eager fingers and rolled it around, then lined it up against the boy. Jake gazed up at him, awaiting the pronouncement.  
  
"Nigh onto perfect."  
  
A cough from behind Jake alerted Jim to having committed a faux pas. He looked a bit more critical. "What would the Great Wizard Jake have his apprentice do to make the staff perfectly perfect?"  
  
"shorter, must be shorter."  
  
"Ah, yes. Shorter. You realize I will have to do this at the apprentice's loft?"  
  
Jake nodded as the words tumbled out. "know that. today? we could do today?"  
  
"Gee, Jake, I think Jim could arrange that, after breakfast and decorating. Right, Jimbo?"  
  
"Sure thing, Blairbabe."  
  
Blue eyes narrowed and with Jake's back to him, Blair gave Jim the finger.  
  
What a four-year-old couldn't see, couldn't hurt him.  
  
*****  
  
The potatoes were frying, with a small batch already cooked and set aside for Jake, so that Jim could add the onions and peppers for himself and Blair. The bacon was draining and Blair was scrambling the eggs, with Jake on the counter, a wooden spoon in his hand,  helping to stir.  
  
Jim finished setting the table and pouring the juice, then took down a package of muffins that Blair had in a cupboard and dropped them onto a plate. He went back to the range, arm brushing against Blair as he dished up the potatoes; arranged the bacon around them and set the plate on the table. Blair scooped up the eggs as Jim lifted Chef Jake and deposited him on the floor.  
  
"Breakfast seems to be ready, Oh Great Wizard. Booster book is in place, so I say let's chow down!"  
  
Jake scrambled to his spot and slid in, then settled himself on the phone book. He watched as Jim slid in on one side, Blair the other.  
  
Blair dishing up Jake's eggs while Jim added the small pile of plain potatoes and two strips of bacon. A muffin completed the plate. Jake scooped his first mouthful of potatoes into his mouth and made a loud 'yummmm' sound, then crunched down on a piece of bacon.  
  
"good brekkie, almost as good as mickey mouse pancakes."  
  
"Jim, you've just received a very high compliment."  
  
"I'm a gem."  
  
Blair glanced down at Jake and winked, then licked his thumb, watched as Jake did the same, then both made the action of testing their thumbs on the hot surface of their butts.  
  
"hot stuff."  
  
Jim couldn't help it-he started laughing. Jake looked supremely pleased with himself.  
  
*****  
  
"Okay, the webbing?"  
  
Blair gazed around him, then back at Jim, who had a yard of the stuff hanging from his fingers. Blair pointed to the archways and the gate. Jim nodded and started with the back archway.  
  
While he tacked up the fake spider webs, Blair and Jake planted several fake gravestones around the courtyard. They'd been working for the last two hours, and as they'd started to haul out the boxes of decorations, other neighbors sort of floated in and joined them.  
  
Maxine was in the corner, hanging ghosts on trees, while upstairs the young man Jim had met the day before, John Holder, was draping long strings of black ivy from the rail.  
  
Mr. Pritchard, who had the apartment across from Blair, was setting out several pumpkins he'd purchased to help decorate.  
  
In the background, Blair had a Halloween CD playing and, at the moment, they were being serenaded by the theme from Ghostbusters.  
  
Jake's face was flushed with pleasure, his curls dark now and plastered to his head. He'd been running hither and yon, checking everyone's work, eyes wide with wonder. And Blair's neighbors, whose own children were for the most part grown and moved on, watched with amusement and affection as the only small child in the building enjoyed what was obviously--painfully so--his first real Halloween.  Everyone knew the history behind Jake's coming to live with Karen and all were committed to giving him the best Halloween ever.  
  
Jim had moved to the front archway and as he climbed the ladder, Blair watched the jeaned butt and sighed. He was... horny. Very. For Jim.  He tried to chastise himself, to lecture his hormones with words about children and decorating, but it was no use. He watched Jim's butt flex as the man reached up to hammer in a nail and he immediately delivered a stern lecture to a particularly important part of his anatomy, but he was a goner.  
  
His table leg days were over. Not that he'd ever been a real chaser, but hell, a guy working with cops, well, he'd better have some kind of rep, especially if he had long hair and wore jewelry.  But even if he'd had table leg days, they'd be over now. In fact, he really had this overwhelming urge to be the table leg that _Jim_ humped. Which was new to him. He usually--no, make that _always_ \--wanted to pitch. He'd never caught, not once in all these years. But hey, there was always a first time.  
  
Which was exactly what he was looking forward to... their first time.  And their second time, and their sixtieth....  
  
"blair?"  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
"pumpkin?"  
  
He blinked and brought his attention back to Jake. "You mean, if I understand Jakespeak correctly, when are we going to carve your pumpkin?"  
  
"yep. you speak good jakespeak."  
  
"Love spans all languages."  
  
The grin he received was intergalactic in size.  
  
*****  
  
Everyone stood in the center of the courtyard and surveyed their handiwork. Jake was on Blair's shoulders again, his eyes taking it all in, mouth hanging open. Blair looked up and said, "Wait until you see it Halloween night. With the lights and candles...."  
  
Jake clapped and, seconds later, everyone else joined in.  
  
*****  
  
On the way to the loft, they stopped at a drive-thru and picked up hamburgers, then on to 852 Prospect. Jim found himself once again folded into the backseat of the Volvo for the simple reason that there wasn't room in the truck for Jim, Blair and Jake in a car seat.  
  
Once at the loft, they all settled in the garage as Jim worked on making a certain staff shorter while Blair and Jake watched, ate and threw insults at Ellison. He fielded every one of them and tossed back a few of his own, with Jake laughing uproariously even though he didn't get half of what Jim or Blair were saying.  
  
Eventually the staff was done and Jim held it out to Jake, who'd been sitting on the bottom rung of a step ladder. The boy slipped down and took the staff, holding it easily now; the staff the perfect length.  
  
"Well, Jake? Looks like your apprentice did a fine job, eh?"  
  
With a touch of awe, Jake said, "it's purfect."  
  
Blair shot Jim a look full of gratitude and, swimming in the dark depths, love. Jim smiled back and knelt down in front of Jake.  
  
"You do know that this staff belonged to a great Shaman, don't you?"  
  
"a great charmin?"  
  
Jim frowned as Blair laughed. "Yeah, Jake, a charmin. You got it, welp. And Jim, let's shelve that story, okay?"  
  
Jake glanced from one to the other, sensing something, but unsure of what. Blair gathered up the used wrappers and stuffed everything into the bag the hamburgers had come in and tossed the whole thing into the trash. He swung Jake into his arms, saying, "We still have to find something to use to tie your great robes together, Jake, not to mention you could use a nap."  
  
"wizards don't nap."  
  
"Great wizards do. How do you think they become so great?"  
  
"poop."  
  
*****  
  
Jake was asleep in Blair's old room and Jim was stretched out on the couch, a bottle of beer in his hand. Blair took the opposite corner.  
  
"What was that all about, Sandburg?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The shaman thing. Why did you stop me?"  
  
Blair sat back, crossed his leg and draped an arm over the back of the couch. "Because a shaman didn't own that walking stick?"  
  
"A shaman owns that stick, Sandburg."  
  
"No, _I_ own it. And I'm just Detective Jim Ellison's partner."  
  
"Is that how you see us?" Jim waved one hand between them. "How you see this whole sentinel thing? You're _just_ my partner?"  
  
"That's all there is, Jim. I was an anthropologist studying people with enhanced senses, now I'm a detective and your partner. That's it. Let's not get too far afield, Ellison."  
  
"Blair, you guided me, taught me, I'd be insane otherwise."  
  
"You give me too much credit, Jim. You'd have figured it out sooner or later. I just helped make it sooner, that's all."  
  
"Jesus, you're something else. Where did all this crap come from? And that's all? You don't think last night was something, or was that just Sandburg experimenting?"  
  
Blair reached over and took the bottle from Jim's fingers, brought it to his mouth, took a healthy swig, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and put the bottle back into Jim's, then got up, stretched and said, "Yeah, Jim, that's what it was, Sandburg experimenting. Good, ole Sandburg." With every intention of getting Jake up and heading home, he walked to his old room. The anger he was trying to suppress was evident in his stride.  
  
"Hold it right there, Chief." Jim had followed him quietly, stealthily. Now he had Blair's arm and he pulled him away from the french doors.  
  
"I want to know what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing, Jim. Nothing. I'm not a shaman, you understand? I'm _nothing_. Got it now?"  
  
Jim felt as though he'd just been struck. He almost let go, almost reeled back, but the emotion in those sapphire blue eyes stopped him cold. He reached out, suddenly desperate to touch this man, to caress, to soothe, to give just a modicum of the relief and comfort Blair had provided him with over the years.  
  
Promising himself that they would discuss this later, he let his knuckle trail down Blair's cheek, felt the stubble, the muscle clenching at his move, felt the pores open, the blood under his skin. "Have I told you how much I love being a sentinel?" he whispered.  
  
Blair was drawn in, his body leaning. "No--never. And you don't."  
  
"Yes, yes I do, Chief. And I love you." His arm snaked around Blair's waist and he pulled the suddenly pliant body into his. This time, Jim did the kissing; this time it was _his_ tongue caressing, _his_ teeth nipping at the edges of that sexy mouth, running along the bottom lip, tasting, savoring.  
  
But unlike the night before, he was in perfect position to take more. As they kissed deeply and well, Jim's right hand moved under the black sweater that Blair wore, moved up the quivering stomach, felt the inhale as his hand moved up through coarse, yet silky chest hair to rest on one nipple.  
  
Blair moaned into Jim's mouth as fingers twisted gently, then with more urgency and the fire burned his chest...  
  
"blair?"  
  
Coughing, spluttering, Jim and Blair jumped apart...  
  
"Hey, Jake," Blair managed to gasp out. "You're up."  
  
Jim started choking.  
  
*****  
  
Jake rubbed his eyes sleepily, one hand tugging down on his navy blue briefs. He looked up at Blair, who was trying to hold back laughter, then at Jim who was attempting to regain some semblance of order as he tried to swallow.  
  
"can i get up now?"  
  
"You sure can, Hoss." Blair swung the boy into his arms and giving Jim a suggestive leer, he walked into Jake's room and set him on the bed.  
  
"Hey, where did you toss your jeans, partner?"  
  
Still groggy, Jake looked around, pursing his lips. "umm, over there," he suggested. Blair spotted them on the floor by the closet, picked them up and tossed them overhand. The jeans landed on Jake's head. Giggling, Jake's muffled reply came from under the jeans, "sloppy throw."  
  
"Yeah? Well, catch this, Hoss." He tossed the red and white shirt but this time, Jake was ready. He whipped the jeans from his head and caught the shirt as Blair tweaked a toe and said, "At least you kept your socks on, kiddo."  
  
Jake wiggled his socked feet as his head disappeared under the shirt. Jim was lounging against the door frame watching with a gentle, bemused expression on his face and as he noted Jake struggling, asked, "Need some help there?"  The headless wonder nodded, which was difficult, what with being headless and all, and Jim laughed as he started to tug one small hand through the sleeve.  
  
With all three of them working together, it should have been an easy task to get one four-year-old dressed, but they hadn't counted on having Jim along for the ride. He quickly decided it would be fun to have the other sleeve attack without mercy.  He sought out every ticklish spot, snuck a hold on the leg of Jake's jeans and capped off his devilish play by trying to put the left tennis shoe on the right foot.  
  
"no, wrong foot."  
  
"No, right foot." The foot in question wiggled.  
  
"no, wrong foot."  
  
Jim gave Jake his best perplexed look and scratched his head, while Blair, who'd long since given up helping, wondered where Jim's camera might be because he was certain he had the makings of great blackmail photos.  
  
Jake wiggled his foot again and pointed. "this foot, shoe on this foot."  
  
"I'm sure not, Master Jake. This shoe," Jim turned said tennis shoe around in his hand, "is definitely a that shoe."  
  
"no, no, silly," Jake said. Then he indicated his right foot and added patiently, "right foot, right shoe, see?"  
  
"But sir, this is the wrong shoe, therefore it belongs on the other foot."  
  
With assurance born of the righteous, Jake shook his curly head and said, "I have no wrong feet. My feet are the bestest and the most rightest and that shoe goes on this bestest foot." He looked up at Blair. "huh, blair?"  
  
Blair took the offending shoe from Jim's hand and using his hip, nudged the larger man aside. "Lowly apprentice, you have much to learn about dressing Great Wizards like our Jake. Now stand back and watch and learn, lowly apprentice."  
  
Blair made a great show of pushing up the sleeves of his sweater as Jake happily stuck out his foot and waved it in the air. Blair grabbed hold and rested the foot on his thigh, then slipped on the tennis shoe and with practiced hands, tied the laces. Standing back to glory in his work, he said, "See lowly apprentice? That's how it's done."  
  
Jim whistled and said in an awestruck tone, "A miracle, sir, surely?"  
  
Blair snorted, which sent Jake falling back in laughter. "Miracle, Jim? Oh, yeah, for you, definitely." He quickly slipped the other shoe on and in spite of the activity of the owner of the foot, who was trying to kick in time to his giggles. Blair held up the errant foot and said cockily, "Care to tie the shoe, Ellison?"  
  
"Runt." Jim shoved Blair aside and quickly tied the shoe. "There, see? This man knows how to tie a shoe."  
  
"am i dressed now? can we go play?"  
  
"Yes, sir, you're dressed and we play. To the park?"  
  
Jake pointed out the door and cried out, "to the park!"  
  
*****  
  
Jim sat on the bench, back resting against the table, long legs stretched out in front of him.  Blair was walking back to him, having just fixed a swing for Cherry, who'd been left in their charge so that her mother could pop over to the store.  
  
Jim observed Blair's approach through lids at half-mast, appreciating the way the black sweater stretched across the muscular chest and clung to the man's hips. He let his hidden gaze travel to the loose hair catching the afternoon sun, then down to the arms swinging easily and finally, with a grin, to the several mothers in the park who were enjoying the view as much as he. As Blair swung a leg over the bench and straddled the wooden seat, Jim joked, "You seem to be the hit of the park, Chief."  
  
"Hey, you know how women love men with kids, Jim. Too bad I only have eyes for you, otherwise I'd be in female heaven right now. And by the way, Beefstick, you're getting more than your fair share of appreciative glances."  
  
Jim turned his head and arched one eyebrow. "Oh yeah, Lambchop?"  
  
"Yeah Beefstick. And if you ever desire more than just a kiss and a grope? You'd better drop the Lambchop, _pronto_." He leaned in close, bracing his upper body with hands planted on the bench and allowing his breath to tease Jim's cheek, he breathed out, "Understand, Beefstick?"  
  
Jim faced him, their noses almost touching as he queried, "How come you're allowed to call me Beefstick, but I can't call you Lambchop?"  
  
"Gee, think about it, dipshit."  
  
"Sandburg, go back to Beefstick."  
  
"I plan to--tonight. I'm looking forward to your beef stick, Beefstick."  
  
Blair's hair was almost a living thing as it swung with his words, just brushing the top of his collar.  There was one errant lock and Jim couldn't help it; he reached up and tenderly eased that tendril back behind Blair's ear. As he did, he allowed his knuckle to once again caress quickly before putting his hand down.  
  
"Well," Blair said, his voice catching slightly, "that informed the fair mothers of Cascade just who belongs to whom, didn't it?"  
  
"Ya think, Darwin?"  
  
*****  
  
They made a quick stop at the store on the way home to purchase the necessary fixings for chili dogs then, once home, decided that they would take advantage of the unseasonably warm October day to grill the hot dogs.  
  
While Blair got the building's barbecue ready, Jim decided that it was a perfect time to carve the pumpkin. He spread one of the courtyard tables with newspapers then, with Jake dogging his heels, he carried the pumpkin to the table.  
  
Jim set the pumpkin and the carving tools on the newspapers as Jake scrambled into a chair next to him.  While Blair cooked hot dogs, baked beans, chili and foil wrapped corn on the cob, Jake directed his apprentice in the fine art of pumpkin carving, his directions simple: make the pumpkin the scariest and bestest in the world.  
  
*****  
  
"scarier."  
  
"Scarier than this?" Jim asked incredulously.  
  
"scarier." Jake was on his knees in the chair, elbows on the table, head resting between his hands.  
  
"much scarier, much, much, much scarier. this scary," and he rolled up his eyes, curled back his lip, stuck out his tongue and stretched his face out with his fingers.  
  
"Okay, that is one scary face, dude. But we'll need something for the tongue, unless you'd like us to use yours?"  
  
The tongue high-tailed itself back into Jake's mouth as two small hands clamped over grinning lips, Jake's head shaking wildly.  
  
Blair stepped up behind Jake, grabbed a large chunk of pumpkin flesh and with one of the carving knives, quickly and efficiently carved out a tongue. He took Jake's right hand away from the boy's mouth and placed the tongue onto the palm. Jake then took Jim's hand and repeated the gesture.  
  
As Blair walked back to the grill, he commented, "You might want to cover that with hair spray or it'll disintegrate before Tuesday, Apprentice Jim."  
  
Apprentice Jim looked down at the tongue, then at Jake, then at the retreating Blair, then back at Jake. "Well," he huffed. Jake erupted in squeals of laughter.  
  
But Blair wasn't done yet. "You might want to try Maxine. She'll have hair spray since I don't think Jim uses it anymore."  
  
As Jake slid from his chair and ran to the Carstairs' front door, Jim muttered, "showoff."  
  
"I heard that, Ellison."  
  
"Hey, if the tongue fits, wear it, showoff."  
  
"Um, tonight."  
  
*****  
  
The three men stood back to admire their creation, namely the ugliest, scariest pumpkin in the whole world. Blair cocked his head and rubbed his chin. Jake cocked his head and rubbed his chin. Jim watched.  
  
"Well," Blair finally pronounced, "that is one scary pumpkin. You two done good."  
  
Jim stepped forward, removed the lid from the pumpkin and set a small votive candle inside.  
  
"Should we, maybe light it? Test it out? See if it's scary enough?"  
  
Blair glanced down at Jake and asked, "What say you, welp? Shall we let him light it up?"  
  
One small fist in the air, Jake replied excitedly, "yes,yes,yes, yes!"  
  
"I think you have a yes, Ellison. Light 'er up!"  
  
Fascinated, Blair watched as Jake took a position next to Jim, one tiny hand on Jim's shirt. Jim struck the long match against the side of the match box and three pairs of blue eyes watched it flare bright, briefly illuminating the two excited faces. Jim dipped the match inside, rested it against the wick and an instant later, it caught. He put the lid on, picked Jake up and stepped back to Blair, who wondered of the two, who was more excited, Jim or Jake.  
  
"perfect," Jim whispered.  
  
"purrrfect," Jake whispered.  
  
'Perfect,' thought Blair.  
  
*****  
  
Jim couldn't take his eyes from the Monopoly game still spread out over the coffee table. Blair entered the living room, a mug of coffee in each hand and sat next to Jim.  As he took a mug from Blair, Jim said, "I can't believe he beat us both. He beat us both."  
  
"No, Jim. He creamed us. Two college graduates, two of Cascade's finest, both incredibly handsome. We were trounced, destroyed, mangled, reamed, slaughtered, demolished and you'll owe him for the rest of your natural life. Join the club, Ellison."  
  
"Sandburg, I was in the military, for God's sake. Covert Ops, Vice, then to top it off, I survived three years of living with you! And he still beat me."  
  
"Poor Jim, poor, poor Jim. But come on, face it. You never beat me either."  
  
"Ha, ha." He took a sip of the coffee, then asked with wonder, "What's he going to be like in a couple of years? Hell, in five or ten years?"  
  
"He'll be normal. Perfectly normal. Trust me."  
  
Ellison glanced at his partner and caught something in the set of Blair's chin, something like determination.  
  
"He'll be like you, Sandburg."  
  
"Not if I can help it, he won't."  
  
Surprised, Jim turned to face Blair. "What do you mean? He's smart, you said so yourself. Being like you is not a bad thing, Chief."  
  
"Jim, he's a fucking genius, okay? And he'll stay challenged, but his world will stay fun. No pushing, no crazy teachers, no worrying, no panic attacks or a need for child psychologists; just a normal childhood. He's not going to worry about who to please or who to be today and who to be tomorrow. He's Jake. And if somebody doesn't like it, they'll deal with me."  
  
For the first time, Jim Ellison caught a glimpse of the real childhood of his friend. A glimpse at the demons that had followed him, that had been the cause of 'I've been in and out of therapy since I got out of my pampers' and 'anxiety and panic attacks are a normal state of being for me'.  
  
Blair's hand was resting on his thigh and Jim covered it with his own. "And me, they'll have to deal with me too," he said, then added quietly, "And if I'd been there when you were growing up, anyone giving you grief would have had to deal with me then too."  
  
"Well damn, Ellison."  
  
"Liked that, did you?"  
  
"Not bad, not bad at all."  
  
"So would it be wrong... to spend the night?"  
  
"Heck no. You're welcome to the couch, be my guest."  
  
"You shit."  
  
Jim moved his upper body toward Blair, eyes fastened on Blair's mouth.  
  
"You making a move on me, Jim?"  
  
"Thinking about it."  
  
"Well, while you're thinking...," he fisted Jim's shirt and pulled him in. Two minutes later, Blair was on his back, Jim looming over him.  
  
"He doesn't get up in the middle of the night, does he?"  
  
"Worried about getting caught again?" As he spoke, his hands were kneading the firm butt he'd been admiring for years.  
  
"Well, I am about to put the move on his babysitter."  
  
"Cool. Can't tell you how many times I walked in on that very scenario and it sure didn't hurt me."  
  
"Oh, I don't know, Sandburg. Look who you're about to make-out with."  
  
"Good point." Blair pulled Jim down for another kiss and just before their lips touched, he whispered, "Once our Jake is down, he's down."  
  
Somehow Jim's zipper had been lowered and Blair's right hand was doing pretty wonderful things to Jim's dick, which translated into Jim not giving a damn if God himself walked in. He made contact with Blair's mouth and any remote idea of going easy and taking it slow flew out the door as both men found themselves in the middle of one of their finest wet dreams.  
  
Hands fumbled, stroked and rubbed as the heat increased. Lips tasted sweat and skin, took nipples, sucked and bit as hips moved and bodies shifted to bring their dicks into constant contact. Mouths were continually being reinvestigated as each man alternated between kissing necks, adam's apples and eyelids. The ecstasy built as bodies that had been dreamt of, surrendered to questing hands and lips.  
  
"Why so long?" Blair whispered against Jim's neck.  
  
"Didn't know, didn't know."  
  
"God, you're stupid."  
  
Jim's lips hovered over Blair's, so close that a drop of moisture touched his. "I know, I know, but you knew that." He closed the distance and claimed another kiss, this one the deepest yet, as if Jim needed to bury himself inside Blair.  
  
Their bodies were humping each other, dicks responding to the friction and Jim couldn't hold out any longer. He pulled away from Blair's mouth to bury his face just under Blair's neck. His orgasm ripped through him as he thrust down again and again.  
  
Blair's fingers tightened on Jim's shoulders hard enough to leave bruises and he came moments later, his body jerking up. Jim held on, let Blair ride it out, then both relaxed back into the deep comfort of the couch.  
  
"Holy cow."  
  
"Nah, just a lowly apprentice."  
  
A slap on the side of his head shut Jim up.  
  
*****  
  
"Bed."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Bed, warm, soft, get clean--now."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Blair shoved and Jim shifted, moaning as he did so.  
  
"Bed, Jim. Come on. Be a good little sentinel; follow your partner to bed."  
  
Blair slid out from under the warm body, stood and grabbed a limp hand. "Come on, Jim." He tugged and, reluctantly, the warm body followed.  
  
Blair led the nearly comatose Ellison first to the bathroom where he somehow managed to strip them both and wipe their bodies down, then into his room.  
  
Jim stood naked, swaying slightly as the back of his legs bumped against the edge of the bed. Blair rested one finger on Jim's chest, and pushed. Ellison dropped like a cut redwood. Suddenly, Blair was wide awake. Naked Jim.  
  
Naked Jim on his bed, legs splayed out, eyes closed, dark lashes resting against fair skin, and one beautiful dick nestled in thick, wiry pubic hair. Blair licked his lips, then decided he was definitely licking the wrong item. He knelt down in front of the man and giving Jim's right leg a jiggle, he said, "oooh, beefstick..."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Blair smiled, lowered his head and took one long, slow, delicious swipe.  
  
"SHIT!" Jim bolted upright, almost knocking Blair on his keister, but Blair held on. With one hand, Blair pushed at the massive chest and Jim once again flopped back, pale blue eyes wide with surprise.  
  
"Just lie back, Ellison, and enjoy."  
  
Jim's dick was no longer limp or relaxed as Blair wrapped a firm hand around the base, caressing the silky skin as, with eyes fixed on Jim, he slowly lowered his head...  
  
"God, god, yes..." Jim's eyes closed as his fingers gripped the bedspread almost hard enough to rip a hole through the material.  
  
Blair's mouth and tongue were doing magical things, fingers lightly rolling Jim's balls and he was certain death was near. But then Blair worked Jim's entire length inside, cheeks sucking, teeth grazing gently...  
  
Jim lost it.  
  
*****  
  
A hand crawled out from under the blanket and groped. Found nothing. One bleary blue eye cracked open and found the bed empty.  
  
Instinctively Jim knew he shouldn't be alone. Blair should be in the bed with him. He could smell him, feel his heat, even a kind of residual energy. Jim turned over and tried to focus. Not his room, he remembered that. He rubbed his chin, then ran his fingers through his hair. Okay, they'd made love out on the couch. Yep, got that. Remembered that. Then Blair had--oh, yeah, remembered that real well. And of course, being the perfect gentleman, Jim had reciprocated.  
  
A huge grin broke out as he remembered Blair's reaction, but then the grin faded because--well--Blair wasn't here.  
  
He focused, tilted his head, opened his hearing and immediately climbed out of bed.  He scrounged around for something to wear, spotted a pair of Blair's sweat pants and quickly slipped them on. Too short but he'd live.  
  
Jim walked across the hall to stop just outside Jake's partially opened door. He cocked his head and confirmed that yes, Blair was there.  
  
He stepped inside and stopped cold.  
  
Blair, wearing his plaid robe, sat cross-legged on the floor next to Jake's bed, one hand resting on Jake's. The boy was sound asleep, curled up on his side, right arm extended out, left arm cuddled around a stuffed wolfpup. The blankets were puddled at his feet but he didn't seem to be cold.  As Jim moved closer, Blair glanced up and Jim could clearly see the flush of embarrassment on Blair's face.  
  
"hey."  
  
Blair smiled and motioned for Jim to join him on the floor, which Jim did. In a soft whisper that probably only Jim Ellison could have heard, Blair said, "Yeah, okay, you caught me. And if you tell anyone..."  
  
"Tell anyone what, Chief?" He whispered back, his lips close to Blair's ear.  
  
"That I sneak in here and watch him sleep."  
  
Blair's hand lifted and he let one finger graze along the soft cheek as he added, "He's stayed over a few times before and I can't help it, Jim. I have to get up, come here and watch. But you tell anyone and I'll deny it. Right after I make sure that Simon makes sure that you disappear."  
  
Jim could actually feel his heart swell. To see this side of his partner, this side of Blair, was like opening a window expecting to see the same vista, and you do, but now that vista is deeper in peaks and valleys, richer in color, depth and beauty. It had always been beautiful, always special, but now; now it was a tapestry, rich and vibrant, a tapestry of life that could take his breath away.  
  
"We'll watch together."  
  
*****  
  
Jake stepped into the hall, ready to attack the Blairgorgon, but skidded to a halt when he found that he was facing a closed door.  
  
He frowned. The door had never been closed, never. But--but--doors, in the past....  
  
His face fell and tears pooled in his eyes and he wasn't even sure why, only that he knew closed doors meant... bad things. Dejected and a bit afraid, he stood unmoving, then he looked down the hall and all he wanted was to cuddle... to be held.  He started to turn away, but the door opened.  
  
"Jake? My man, you're up."  
  
Uncertain, but relieved to see Blair's smiling face, he nodded, his eyes moving from Blair to the room beyond.  
  
Blair spotted the unshed tears and immediately scooped the boy into his arms and nuzzled his neck. "Morning, Jake."  
  
"morning." The voice was so small, so... shaken.  
  
"Hey, guess who stayed the night?"  
  
"who?"  
  
"Lowly apprentice Jim."  
  
The face brightened, eyes widening. Jake brought his hand up and scrunched away the tears, then asked, "where, where?"  
  
"Right here, Great Wizard Jake." Jim walked into the hall and came up behind Blair. He ruffled the blond curls and seeing the remains of fear and sadness, lightly fingered away a bit of moisture and inquired, "Why so sad, Great Wizard?"  
  
"door."  
  
"Door?" Blair asked, surprised.  
  
"closed, door closed."  
  
In a flash of insight born of experience, Blair soothed, "Yes, it was closed, Jake and sometimes it will be, but all you have to do is knock. Any time it's closed, you just knock, okay?"  
  
"knock, i only have to knock?"  
  
"Yep, that's all. Remember last week, when you wanted to play jungle explorer games in your room and you closed the door?"  
  
Jake nodded, his forehead creased as he tried to grasp where Blair was going. "Well, why did you close the door?"  
  
"be alone, had to be a jungle."  
  
"Right. If I'd knocked, would you have let me in?"  
  
Jake nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"But the door was closed because you needed it closed, needed the privacy, huh?"  
  
Another nod.  
  
Blair shrugged his shoulders, bouncing Jake as he did so. "See? Privacy is good, isn't it? But if I'd knocked, you'd have let me in and this morning, you only had to knock. I'll always let you in, Jake, always."  
  
"always?" The question was asked with some hesitation, but also a great deal of hope.  
  
"Always. Absolutely."  
  
"kay."  
  
"You ready for breakfast?"  
  
"yup!"  
  
"Good, cause so am I and I'm thinking of eating YOU!" He dove in and began to tickle, his mouth blowing raspberries against the soft neck. Jake giggled, his fears forgotten.  
  
*****  
  
"You got everything, Hoss?"  
  
The boy stood before him in pale blue jeans, a white sweater, blue jacket, ratty tennis shoes, a bag with some of his toys and another bag of Nutter Butter cookies. "got everything. i'm ready!"  
  
They'd had breakfast--oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins for Jake with hot chocolate to wash it down, bagels and coffee for Blair and Jim. Although, after noticing several envious looks, Jake had happily fed Blair two spoonfuls.  
  
Now Blair was off to take Jake to Maggie Cummings, the sometime babysitter and always friend of Karen's, while Jim hurried home to change. They were due at the station by eight and it was now seven.  
  
Giving his home one last, quick look, Blair stepped out, hand on Jake's head, and closed the door behind him. In the courtyard, Jim kissed Jake good-bye, then over his head, dropped another kiss on surprised lips. "See you at the station, Chief."  
  
Blair blinked rapidly, surprised at the overt show of affection and nodded.  
  
"stay over tonight?"  
  
Jim grinned down at the happy, upturned face as he answered, "I do believe that could be arranged, Great Wizard Jake." He waved at them as he hurried out to the front. But he didn't fail to catch the muttered, "man, I'm gonna have to call Karen", and he grinned.  
  
*****  
  
Blair pulled into Maggie's driveway and, after cutting the engine, he reached over and unstrapped Jake, who'd fallen asleep. Not an unusual occurrence, Blair had learned. The motion of the car seemed to put him right out.  
  
He quickly moved around to the passenger door, gently pulled the child into his arms, picked up Jake's bag, and, grateful that he was asleep, reached back and picked up the bag he'd hidden earlier. As he walked up to the house, the front door opened and Maggie stepped out onto the porch.  
  
"Welcome, Blair. Come on in." She moved aside and let Blair enter.  
  
Maggie was about Karen's age, but taller and broader. She had a face that time had happily marched across, and she was fiercely proud of each and every line and every single gray hair on her now mostly gray head. Her brown eyes twinkled merrily as she gazed down on the sleeping child.  
  
"Fell asleep again, I see," she whispered. Blair nodded and held out the other bag.  
  
"Maggie, I have a favor to ask," he asked, his voice soft and low.  
  
"Name it."  
  
"This is the poncho we're using for his costume, but it needs..."  
  
"A good tailor?" She finished for him, smiling.  
  
He grinned back and nodded. "You nailed it, Mags. Shortened and basically, well, it's supposed to be a wizard's robe, you know?"  
  
"Oh, Lordy, of course. I'll do it tonight, after you pick him up, then I can sneak it to you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"You really need to leave Chet and marry me, Mags."  
  
Voice rising as Blair moved to wake Jake, she said, "I'll check with him tonight. After 40 years of marriage, I'm ready for a youngster."  
  
They chuckled lightly as Blair gave Jake another little jiggle and the sleepy head rubbed against Blair's shoulder.  
  
"wha'?"  
  
"Wake up, sleepy head, we're at Maggie's."  
  
"blair?"  
  
"Who else, Great Wizard?"  
  
Eyes fluttered open and Jake swiveled his head and spotted Maggie. Rubbing his eyes with one hand, he gave her a small wave with the other, his fingers wiggling slowly.  
  
She held out her arms, but Jake leaned back and buried his face in Blair's neck.  
  
"Hey, Hoss, what's up?"  
  
"wanna go home. wanna go home, please?"  
  
The two adults exchanged startled glances. This was not Jake. He loved staying with Maggie.  
  
"Jake, I have to go to work. And Puddles is waiting for you."  
  
"puddles?" Jake looked around, his eyes scanning the floor.  
  
"Puddles is outside, eager to play chase, Jake. Sure you won't stay with me today? You know how lonely Puddles and I get," Maggie entreated.  
  
He looked at Blair earnestly before answering Maggie and asked, "you'll pick me up?"  
  
"Of course. Me and Jim, okay?"  
  
"promuse?"  
  
"Promise." As he spoke, he searched the young, baby face and figured out that he was still dealing with the whole closed door issue from earlier.  
  
"Jake, partner, my man, it's okay. Honest. You and me, Jake, always." Then he placed his hand, curled into a light fist, against Jake's heart and said, "Knock, knock."  
  
Jake ducked his head, then wrapped his arm around Blair's neck and held tightly. Blair repeated the motion with the words and this time Jake smiled against Blair's skin. Blair whispered against an ear, "Say who's there."  
  
"who's there?"  
  
"Doris." He whispered again, "Say, Doris who."  
  
"doris who?"  
  
"Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!"  
  
A giggle reverberated through his skin and he tried another one.  
  
"Knock, knock."  
  
"who's there?"  
  
"Ant."  
  
"ant who?"  
  
"Ants in your pants!" And he began to tickle mercilessly as Jake's delighted squeals filled the room. Blair slowed his tickling and let Jake calm down and just as he was about to hand him over to Maggie, Jake said, "knock, knock."  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"me."  
  
"Me who?"  
  
"just... me. can i come in?"  
  
Blair's expression softened as he ran a finger over Jake's nose, swooping it down to the end, and tapping it twice, he said, "Always, Jake. You can always come in."  
  
He leaned forward as Maggie put out her arms and, this time, Jake let his body float into Maggie. Blair rested his hand on the back of Jake's head and brought him over a bit. "You be good, keep Puddles jumping and I'll call you at lunch, okay? And don't forget, Gammy will call you too."  
  
He smiled then, not the full Jake smile, but a smile and Blair kissed him on the cheek and was surprised when Jake put his hand on Blair's face and kissed him back. "i'm always good. be back soon, please?"  
  
"Well, it'll almost be dark before I get back, so what say I call before I come, okay?"  
  
"call me all day!"  
  
Maggie tweaked a curl and exclaimed, "Why honey, the man would never get any work done!"  
  
"don't care."  
  
"Well, Jim and Simon care, young man and so do you, but I will call, I promise. Deal?" He held out his hand and was glad to see the small, pale one slip into his. He dropped another kiss on top of Jake's head, said his good-byes and with a final smile for Maggie, left.  
  
As he walked to his car, he wondered why he felt as though he'd just left a part of his soul behind.  
  
*****  
  
Blair arrived before Jim and after parking in the garage, he decided to utilize the time waiting for Jim by calling Karen in Boston. He checked his wallet and found the number she'd given him. He dialed and moments later, a young woman answered.  
  
 _"Hello?"_  
  
"Karen Porter, please? This is Blair Sandburg."  
  
 _"Just a minute."_  
  
As the receiver was set down, it hit Blair that perhaps he'd just been talking to Diane.  
  
 _"Blair? Is everything all right?"_  
  
"Everything's fine, Karen. I just, there's something, I mean, oh, shit." The response on the other end of the phone was laughter. "Karen, this is serious. Really."  
  
 _"Okay, shoot and how's Jake? Getting excited about Halloween?"_  
  
"Very. Jim and I will be taking him around tomorrow, he's all set with his costume and, well, you see, last night, I mean, Jim and we, I mean, he and I, well, you see..."  
  
 _"Oh, my God, you and Jim are back together?"_  
  
"He and I, and this morning-- _what_ did you just say?"  
  
 _"You and Jim. Back together, yes? I realize I haven't met him yet, but the way you always talk about him, I just assumed that you two broke up and that's why you moved."_  
  
Blair was stunned. His mouth moved, but no sound came out until he realized...  
  
"No, no, Karen, Jim and I, we, never, no, I just lived with him, you see? I didn't _live_ with him."  
  
 _"So you two haven't gotten back together?"_  
  
"Well, yes, yes, we have, I mean, no, no we haven't gotten back together, because you see, we were never together, but, well, now, well now..."  
  
 _"You are?"_  
  
"I guess you could say that we--um, yes."  
  
 _"And the problem would be?"_  
  
"Karen, some people would object if the person they were entrusting their grandchild, was, I mean, you know, had company and that's if the company was a woman. Jim isn't."  
  
 _"Well, I never thought he was and could you explain how it is that you two could live together, how long?"_  
  
"Three years."  
  
 _"Three years and it's only when you move out that you two get together?"_  
  
Okay, he loved this woman. Shaking his head and laughing, he said,  
  
"Karen, what can I say? The man is slow."  
  
 _"Honey, there is slow, and then there slooow."_  
  
"Yeah, well, Jim Ellison makes a snail frozen to the sidewalk in snowstorm look speedy. Take my word for it."  
  
 _"Blair? I don't need to take your word for it."_  
  
Laughing even harder, Blair had to agree with her.  
  
After they both calmed down, he asked curiously, "Was that Diane? The woman who answered the phone?"  
  
 _"No, honey. That was Crystal, my friend's daughter. Diane isn't here. She went to Amherst to visit and--say good-bye to some friends. I'm picking her up on Thursday and together we'll drive to the airport."_  
  
"So she's coming home?"  
  
 _"She's going to try, Blair. We'll be coming in late Thursday evening."_  
  
Blair exhaled slowly. "That's great news, Karen. How late? And do you want me to bring Jake?"  
  
There was a slight pause and he could hear her sudden intake of breath. _"Maybe not."_  
  
"Whatever you think best."  
  
 _"She's so nervous, Blair, but so happy at the same time. She's my daughter, but I have to think of Jake now."_  
  
"Karen, it'll be okay. How are you two getting along?"  
  
 _"Not bad, a little wary, like two animals circling, you know?."_  
  
He chuckled and said, "I know. She must be scared, Karen. The idea of seeing Jake again, of being home, starting over--"  
  
 _"I know, I know. Both of us are walking on eggshells when we speak, both careful of every word, every nuance. That's one of the reasons I'm so worried about Jake."_  
  
"How can I help?"  
  
 _"Well, I do have an idea."_  
  
The pause on the other end of the phone worried him, but he patiently waited.  
  
 _"I was thinking--maybe--Jake could stay with you for a few days after our return? Let he and his mother get reacquainted slowly as she and I work things out?."_  
  
"You really want that, Karen?"  
  
 _"I think it might be the best way. What do you think? You know he won't mind."_  
  
"If you think it'll help, I'm in."  
  
 _"Oh, Blair, thank you! I know it will work, I just know it. And I know Diane will feel more at ease as well."_  
  
"Then no worries, Karen. What time does your flight get in?"  
  
 _"Nine; flight 232."_  
  
"I'll be there and Jim can stay with Jake."  
  
 _"Blair, I love you!"_  
  
"Ah, the Sandburg charm."  
  
They shared a laugh before hanging up and, as Blair put the phone in his pocket, a rapping on the car window caught his attention. He glanced up quickly and smiled at the handsome face currently crossing his eyes at him. He opened the door and Jim stepped back.  
  
"You know your face could freeze like that."  
  
"Is it a good look for me?"  
  
"Amazing. I think it's the real you!"  
  
"Smartass."  
  
They started walking toward the elevator, trading insults until they got inside and started up.  
  
"You were talking to Karen? Everything okay?"  
  
"Everything's fine. And you'll be happy to know that she is ecstatic that we're back together."  
  
Jim turned to face Blair, his face showing his confusion. "Excuse me? Back together?"  
  
"Yep. She just assumed, from the way I talked about you, that we'd broken up, but that now we were back together."  
  
Jim scratched his head in thought, then, "Well, I'll be damned." Then Blair's words, all of them, caught up to Ellison.  
  
"Uh, Sandburg, just how did you talk about me?"  
  
"Evidently, like a man in love." He looked down at his shoes; waiting.  
  
"Is that what you are," Jim asked softly.  
  
"Would appear so."  
  
"I guess we really are partners in all things, then, eh, Chief?"  
  
The elevator slid open on seven and as they stepped out, Blair answered with, "Guess so, Jim."  
  
*****  
  
No one really noticed any differences in Jim Ellison or Blair Sandburg--exactly--but the conversation around the bullpen included a lot of speculation on whether Ellison or Sandburg (or both) got lucky.     
  
Of course, Megan Connor figured it out almost immediately, but kept it to happily to herself.  
  
*****  
  
"Well, we wrapped up another one, eh, Chief?"  
  
"Looks like, Jim. Scartelli's going down this time."  
  
They strolled down the hall toward Major Crime, both supremely happy with themselves. They'd busted Peter Scartelli's forgery operation and had just seen to it that the man and his crew were safely behind bars. The whole operation had taken most of the morning, but now the evidence was in lock-up; the criminals behind bars.  
  
As they walked toward their respective desks, Banks stepped out of his office and asked quietly, "Ellison, you and Sandburg have a few?" The two men stared at each other the same thought mirrored in their expressions.  
  
Something was wrong.  
  
They entered the office and when Simon closed the doors and dropped the blinds, they were certain. "Jim, we have missing evidence. Two packages of the funny money came up missing."  
  
"Shit."  
  
Simon walked to the front of his desk and leaned against it, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
Blair leaned forward and asked, "You're not saying that Jim is a suspect?"  
  
"He's one of three detectives that wrapped them up."  
  
"Déjà vu, eh, Chief?"  
  
"How serious, Simon?" Blair questioned, ignoring Jim's attempt at levity.  
  
"Two other detectives were also responsible for packaging and labeling and, right now, there seems to be an error down in evidence. The evidence labels seem to have disappeared. Hence Jim, Carl Baxter and John Mullens are suspect."  
  
Jim sat back and asked, "How seriously am I under suspicion, Simon?"  
  
"That's the good news, Jim. After the last two IA investigations, they're a little... hesitant to come down on you. Right now, they're allowing me to handle this end of it, but Captain Harold has IA crawling up his ass."  
  
"So nothing to worry about." He hit Blair's shoulder and quipped, "See?"  
  
"Things are different now, Jim. I'm your partner."  
  
Simon frowned at Blair's tone and taking out one of his cigars, a sure sign of disquiet, said, "Sandburg, that has nothing to do with anything. Evidence is missing and naturally, the three men who packed it up are going to be investigated. If there were any doubts about you, I would have IA crawling all over me."  
  
Blair could see the merit of Simon's argument, but it did little to ease his mind. Jim stood and putting his hand on Blair's shoulder, said, "So business as usual, at least for now, Simon?"  
  
"Business as usual, but let's stay low, shall we?"  
  
"Got it," then to Blair, "I'm starved, Chief, how about lunch?"  
  
"Sure, why not. What's a little axe swinging over your head compared to a hungry stomach."  
  
*****  
  
"Sandburg, you haven't eaten a bite."  
  
"Pardon me if I'm a little more upset about this evidence thing than you."  
  
"And mad. Don't forget mad."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Did you call Jake?"  
  
Blair dropped the fork he'd been using to move his spaghetti around on the plate as a string of quiet expletives flowed effortlessly from his mouth.  
  
"Rather than impress me with your range of four-letter words, why don't you go call?"  
  
"Oh, shut up."  
  
Jim grinned as Blair slid out from behind the table and headed toward the phones but the grin widened as he heard the muttered, "know-it-all sentinels."  
  
*****  
  
"He did what?"  
  
 _"piddled on my shoe!"_  
  
"Gee, Jake, does this mean new shoes?"  
  
 _"nuh,uh, mags cleaned my shoe and now it's good as new."_  
  
Blair snapped his fingers to himself as he mentally added the word, drat. So close to new shoes.  "Well, I bet Puddles was upset with himself for the piddle."  
  
Giggles could be heard on the other end of the phone as Jake repeated to Maggie about puddles and piddles and in spite of the mornings events, Blair found himself smiling and relaxing as he listened to the childish sounds. God, how he loved the sound of Jake's giggles. Nothing sounded so... joyful.  
  
"Okay, welp, gotta get back to Jim and work, but I'll call just before I pick you up, okay?"  
  
 _"okey-dokey."_  
  
"Okey, dokey? Let me guess, you went to the park and saw Cherry?"  
  
 _"yowzer."_  
  
"Oh, God. Yowzer? Okey, dokey? We've got to get this girl a Thesaurus."  
  
 _"what's a thesorus?"_  
  
"I'll tell you later, okay?"  
  
 _"okey-dokey."  
_  
"See ya later, alligator."  
  
 _"after while, crok-o-dile."_  
  
"Bye."  
  
 _"bye."_  
  
When there was no click, Blair said, "Jake?"  
  
 _"what?"_  
  
"Hang up the phone."  
  
 _"okey-dokey."_  
  
Still no click.  
  
"Jake."  
  
 _"what?"_  
  
"Hang...up... the... phone."  
  
 _"okey-dokey."_  
  
Then....  
  
 _"bye, blair."_  
  
"Bye, Jake. Love you."  
  
 _"luv you too."_  
  
Still no click. "Jacob Michael Porter."  
  
Click.  Chuckling, Blair rejoined Jim.  
  
*****  
  
"You seem to be feeling a bit better, Chief."  
  
"Squirts on the phone can do that to a man."  
  
Jim pulled the truck out of the parking lot of Charlie's Diner and headed back to the station.  
  
"So, spill."  
  
"Well, let's see," he started ticking off on his fingers, "one, Puddles piddled, two, Jake has learned to say okey-dokey and yowzer and he's at that stage where he doesn't want to hang up first."  
  
"Shit. I didn't get to that stage until... 13. First girl friend."  
  
"First girl friend at 13? Oooh, learned something new about James Ellison."  
  
"Big deal, Chief. Is there anything you don't know?"  
  
"Not anymore," Blair snickered.  
  
"Not so fast, Bucko. You don't know when I--"  
  
"You were 16, her name was Stephanie. And 19, his name was Arnie."  
  
"Fuck."  
  
"Get James Ellison drunk, and he'll tell you anything and everything."  
  
"Too bad a certain partner I know isn't as forthcoming."  
  
"So, get me drunk."  
  
"Now there's an idea..."  
  
*****  
  
"You know you're going to be hungry later, don't you?"  
  
"Sure, and isn't that why you had my order packed to go?"  
  
"Seems like you figured me out again, Chief."  
  
"Like _that's_ hard to do."  
  
They were walking down the hall, headed toward Major Crime, Jim carrying a white plastic bag from the diner. As they walked, Blair had to keep moving in toward Jim, their bodies touching as other people rushed down the halls, bumping into both men.  
  
"Shit," Blair exclaimed, looking around him, "what the hell is going on around here?"  
  
"It's a conspiracy to ensure that you keep in constant touch with me, Chief."  
  
"Who knew cops could be so clever? Let alone so... understanding."  
  
Before Jim could bounce another hit back at Blair, Detective Carl Baxter shoved his way through the crowded hall to stop belligerently in front of the two men. Jim managed to sidestep a bit, thus putting his body between Baxter and Blair.  
  
"Can I do something for you, Baxter?" he inquired pleasantly.  
  
"You bastard. You think you're gonna get away with it this time, Ellison? Do you? You're goin' down, Detective Ellison, you hear me?" He punctuated his statement with a finger poked into Jim's chest; a bad move on any day.  
  
The finger stayed in place and Jim glanced down, his expression almost tranquil. "You might remove your finger, Baxter. Hate you to lose a hand." He brought his frosty blues back up and regarded the man with a thin smile.  
  
Baxter's own brown eyes narrowed as his anger grew and through clenched teeth, he ground out, "Banks can't save you this time, Detective." The blazing eyes flicked over to Blair, then back to Jim. "Everyone knows, Ellison, you hear me? Everyone knows. A rotten partner and it's bound to rub off, even on a man like you. I used to admire you. You were one of the best, but you hang on to garbage, and you become garbage and this time--"  
  
He got no farther. His finger was swept up and away from Jim's chest, but not by Jim.  
  
Blair was suddenly in front of Jim, face flushed in outrage as his arm bounced against Baxter's, dislodging the finger. His fury barely contained, he spat out, "You got a problem with me, you take it up with _me_ , you got that, _Detective_ Baxter? You leave him out of this."  
  
Jim was stunned and clearly out of it. His mouth dropped open as he gazed down at the bantam rooster that had become his partner. He actually took a step back as Blair angrily continued.  
  
"You say anything you want about me, cast any aspersions on my character that you deem fit, but you leave Ellison out of it. He's above reproach and you know it." He took a step closer to Baxter, who backed up two. "And as far as I'm concerned, you're above reproach in this as well, Baxter... and how's Eleanor?"  
  
The question about Eleanor threw Baxter and he blinked down from his over six-foot height at Blair's now pale face.  
  
"You remember how Jim got his friend, Dr. Smithers to look at her, don't you, Carl? How if he hadn't done that, Eleanor might be dead now? You remember that, right? And what about the bullies at Roosevelt Elementary? You know, the ones who were terrorizing the kids?"  A crowd had gathered around them, and faces that had been indignant and nodding at Baxter's words were now nodding at Blair's.  
  
Blair took another step toward Carl, his hand now on Baxter's chest. "Your two kids were getting hammered pretty good, weren't they, Carl? But Jim went in there and he took care of it, didn't he? Rousted out those kids, broke up a drug ring, remember? And took a bullet for his troubles, or doesn't _that_ ring a bell?"  
  
Baxter's ire leaked out, leaving him panting. His eyes lifted to Jim's, almost pleading for understanding. Jim put one hand on Blair's shoulder and pulled him back. "Okay, Chief, you can back off now; point made, point taken." He looked at the sea of faces around him and raised his voice, "All right everyone, show's over, you can all go back to work."  
  
Ignoring Baxter, Jim guided Blair into the bullpen, noticing the trembling limbs under his hands.  The doors swung shut behind them and he moved Blair to his desk and sat him down, then took his own seat. "Always knew my honor would be safe with you around to fight for it, Chief."  
  
"Very funny, Ellison. Very funny."  
  
Blair wasn't looking at him--wasn't looking at anyone--but they were all looking at him. Henri and Joel had been at the doors, listening, ready to attack when Blair had gone into his own honor fight.  Now they stood several feet away, undisguised respect in their eyes as they continued to gaze at their newest detective. Megan was sitting back in her chair, a huge grin on her face, and several other detectives were smiling broadly as well.  
  
Blair started to shake his head, his words muttered out low and several detectives leaned forward to listen. "Knew it, knew it. Knew you'd pay, every time now, my fault, not going to work, knew it--"  
  
"NO WAY!"  
  
The words didn't come from Jim, but only because Joel beat him to the punch. The large detective moved quickly to stand in front of Blair's desk. Blair's head had shot up at the exclamation and he found himself staring into eyes black with indignation.  
  
"No way, Blair, no way. It is going to work, it _is_ working. You're one of us, Blair, an important member of this team and you're Jim's partner. And I doubt that anyone here wouldn't be just as honored to partner with you; not that Ellison would allow such a thing."  
  
Jim sat back, completely comfortable that his fellow detectives would take care of Blair, and he wasn't wrong. Within seconds, the desk was surrounded, voices pitching their arguments, assuring Blair, congratulating his stand in the hall, and more than just a few reminding him of his contributions to the team. By the time Simon came in, Blair's face was the color of a just cooked lobster.  
  
"Anyone care to fill me in on what's going on?" Simon demanded.  
  
The crowd around Blair's desk cleared as they surrounded Banks, voices battling to be heard. Waving his arms, he moved through the mass of detectives saying, "Fine, fine, wouldn't expect less, get back to work people."  
  
As he stepped into his office, he glanced back and sticking his cigar in his mouth, he gave Sandburg a satisfied harrumph before closing his doors.  
  
As everyone returned to their duties, Jim punched Blair's shoulder and said, "You hungry yet, Chief?"  
  
Stunned blue eyes caught his and he watched happily as a grin spread across the handsome face. "You know, Jim, I could eat."  
  
*****  
  
As the day wore on and the team of Ellison and Sandburg dug themselves out from under a mound of paperwork while keeping a low profile, Banks made it his own personal mission to get the investigation on the missing money closed. His worry was not that any wrong-doing on Ellison's part would be found--he knew better--but rather that that the longer the investigation went on, the worse it would be for Sandburg.  
  
A call to the desks of both Taggart and Connor spurred both to jump on ideas of their Captain.  
  
*****  
  
Blair sat at his computer, finishing the report on the Erskine car theft ring. He had just turned Jake over to Jim after a lengthy phone conversation and as he typed furiously, his worry over the investigation still churning around inside, Simon stepped out of his office, caught his eye and indicated that the two detectives should join him in his office.  
  
Blair glanced at his partner, who was nodding and pointing helplessly at the phone.  
  
"Well, Jake, I'm afraid that we must end this scintillating conversation as your poker partner has just summoned myself and the Blairgorgon to his office. What are you cooking for dinner tonight?" Jake's giggles came through the phone and Jim smiled.  
  
 _"choco-chip hamburgers!"_  
  
"Chocolate chip hamburgers? Um, do we use mustard or chocolate syrup on those, Great Wizard?"  
  
 _"both, silly!"_  
  
"Well, I'm looking forward to this, Master Jake, now say good-bye and hang up the phone."  
  
 _"okey-dokey--goodbye and hang up the phone."_  
  
"Jake, put the phone down, okay?"  
  
 _"okay."_  
  
Nothing. "Jake? Hang up the phone."  
  
Giggles.  
  
Eyes narrowing, Jim, with no intention of being bested by a four-year-old, said firmly, "Jake, put the phone down now."  
  
No click, just breathy giggles.  
  
Blair leaned over and pulled the receiver away from Jim's mouth and said loudly, "Jacob Michael Porter!"  
  
Click.  
  
"Yes, well, he'd have hung up for me... eventually."  
  
Blair patted Jim on the shoulder. "I know, Jim. I know."  
  
As they walked into Simon's office, Jim said, "I really hate you, Sandburg."  
  
"I know, Jim, I know."  
  
*****  
  
"Just like that, Simon?"  
  
Smugly, Simon answered, "Yep, just like that. It's over, the money has been found and the investigation against you, Baxter and Mullens has been shelved, obviously. Unfortunately, Officer Muldoon has been arrested."  
  
Blair, his relief almost palpable, let his body slump down in the chair as Jim and Simon talked. His stomach had been doing cartwheels since the news of the investigation had become known and the altercation in the hall with Baxter had done nothing to appease his worry or fear. But now, now he could relax and let the flow of conversation move around him.  
  
"You can thank Joel and Megan for the quick closure, Jim. They started with the fact that the evidence tags had gone suspiciously missing. From there, it moved quickly to Officer Muldoon. It was a remarkably simple thing to do for Muldoon once the evidence was turned over to him. So simple, it's a wonder no one ever thought of it before. And one that the police department is looking at keeping from ever happening again." He sat back, supremely satisfied.  
  
"I still don't get it, Simon. The procedure for storing evidence is foolproof."  
  
"Jim, two major busts went down on the same day, at the same time. With all the bags of evidence flowing in downstairs, it was relatively simple to allow the tags to go missing. People in and out; it was the opportunity of a lifetime for Muldoon and he took advantage."  
  
Jim nodded, seeing clearly how the confusion only aided Muldoon in his efforts to steal some money. He smiled at his Captain and friend as he asked, "And of course, you had nothing to do with this? It wasn't, perhaps, any phone calls to Taggart or Connor that got them moving?"  
  
"I really hate your senses sometimes, Ellison. Has a man no privacy?"  
  
Simon's words brought Blair out of his lethargic relief and he leaned forward, a smile on his face.  "Simon, trust me. You don't have a clue as to what the lack of real privacy entails when you live with a sentinel. Count your blessings."  
  
Simon held up one hand in supplication and said, "Consider them counted, Sandburg."  
  
"Well, gee, should I feel insulted here, or what?"  
  
"Jim, the truth can only set you free.   Consider yourself insulted."  
  
"Nice, Sandburg, very nice."  
  
"You two kids want to go home now? Leave this old man in peace?"  
  
The two kids rose and made their way to the door but Simon stopped them with a final question.  
  
"You are bringing Jake to the Cascade Harvest Carnival tomorrow night, right? The PD is hosting it again this year."  
  
Blair's hand had been on the knob, twisting it when Simon spoke and now he removed it and muttered, "Shit. I completely forgot about the Carnival, Jim."  
  
"So, now we've been reminded. What's the big deal?"  
  
Blair considered it, then his face brightened. "Yeah, no biggie. We'll take him trick-or-treating in the apartment building, then the block, then over to the carnival. Maybe Cherry's mom will let her come too?"  
  
Simon watched the two men in humor. But as they worked out the logistics of taking a four-year-old out on Halloween, he sat forward, suddenly seeing something very different. He listened intently.  
  
"I'm sure she will. We can call them tonight. And the carnival will be great for Jake, he'll love it."  
  
Their bodies were so close, Simon doubted that a piece of paper could have been slipped in between them.   And to top it off, they sounded like any couple Simon had ever heard, including when he was married to Joan. With a slight difference, of course.  
  
"Bet he's never been to anything even remotely resembling a carnival, eh, Jim? You saw the way he reacted at the Pumpkin Patch. He's just gonna love it!"  
  
Simon figured it out.  
  
"Gentlemen?"  
  
"...can't wait to see his--Captain?" Jim turned to face Simon, Blair doing the same.  
  
"I take it the three of you will be there tomorrow night?"  
  
Blair nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yeah, Simon, we'll be there." He opened the door and they stepped out, but not before Jim caught Simon's last, under-his-breath remark of, "So which one is the mother?"  
  
Jim poked his head back inside and smiling, answered, "Why sir, _I_ am."  
  
As he closed the door on his Captain's stunned expression, Blair glanced up and asked, "What was that all about, Jim?"  
  
"Nothing, Sandburg, nothing. Let's get out of here and try some of those choco-chip hamburgers Jake was talking about."  
  
"Somebody gag me."  
  
*****  
  
"You gonna stay tonight?"  
  
Jim was leaning against the Volvo as Blair unlocked the door and at his question, queried, "You want me to?"  
  
Shaking his head in disbelief, Blair decided to play the game. "I don't know, do you want to?"  
  
Smiling, Jim responded with, "Only if you want me to."  
  
"Well, I only want you to stay if _you_ want to stay."  
  
"I wouldn't want to stay if I weren't welcome."  
  
"You're always welcome, Ellison. The couch will always have your name on it."  
  
Jim glanced around and after making sure that they were alone, pushed himself away from the car and took up a position directly behind Blair. Pressing in, he lowered his head and whispered, "Couch my ass, Sandburg. It's the bed or nothing."  
  
Stifling the excitement at the feel of Jim's body pressed against his, he mulled over his options.  "Well, I suppose it could be the bed. Although, that couch is certainly long enough for you."  
  
"Sandburg," Jim said, warningly.  
  
He twisted around so that he was now looking up at Ellison and with Jim's body hiding anything he might do, he quickly cupped Jim's dick through the denim. "Ye-ess?"  
  
"Shit."  
  
"Um, something bothering you, Ellison?" He continued to move his hand against the now completely hard dick. "Something up, Ellison?  
  
"You little shit."  
  
He dropped his hand away, turned, pulled open the door and slipped into the driver's seat. "Yep, that's me. You have a bag in the truck, don't you?"  
  
Face flushed with embarrassment, Jim nodded.  
  
"Always the Boy Scout, that's my partner."  
  
Jim gave him a two fingered salute, humor replacing the embarrassment as he said, "Be prepared, a fine motto."  
  
"Why don't we drop the truck off at the apartment, squeeze you into the back seat and pick up Jake together?"  
  
"Sounds good, except it's time to move the car seat into the backseat, Chief. And we're not really having those hamburgers, are we?"  
  
"Up to you. We take him out to eat, we can skip the chocolate syrup and you get to move the car seat." He grinned up at the still slightly flustered detective.  
  
"Right. Car seat and dinner out it is. I'll follow you."  
  
*****  
  
"So you don't mind a slight change in plans for tomorrow, Jake?"  
  
The boy in question shoved another mouthful of crispy, batter-fried fish into his mouth as he shook his head happily.  
  
Jake sat on a booster chair, a colorful lobster bib tied around his neck, eyes glowing bright as he listened to the description of the new plans for Halloween. Through a stuffed mouth, he asked, "whampts a carimphval?"  
  
Popping a french fry into his mouth, Blair shook his head and said easily, "Swallow, then ask again."  
  
Jake pointed to Blair's full mouth, one eyebrow rising.  
  
"He's got you, Chief."  
  
"Stuff it, Ellison," Blair said with a grin.  
  
Jake giggled. But he also swallowed and asked again, "what's a carnfal?"  
  
"Car-ni-val."  
  
"carneefal."  
  
"It's like... a big party, Jake. Lots of games for you to play and win prizes, a costume contest, hot dogs and hamburgers and candy apples and a haunted house, and rides...."  
  
"and cherry can go?"  
  
"Yep, her mom already said yes. She'll bring her over at six tomorrow night, we'll go trick-or-treating, then the carnival, then home."  
  
Lifting his hand and bringing it down on the table, Jake pronounced, "i'm down with that!"  
  
*****  
  
Over dinner, they'd listened with rapt attention as Jake regaled them with stories of Cherry and her new words. Of Puddles and his new attempts at jumping rope, which for a poodle had to be something worth seeing, and finally, once home, they'd listened as Jake lectured Blair on the right way to pick him up at the end of the day. Apparently Jake was a bit miffed that Blair had spent untold amounts of time with Maggie before coming out back and letting him know that he was there.  
  
Now they all sat in front of the warm, cozy fire, Jake bathed, wearing his yellow pajamas, red robe and happily cuddled on Blair's lap.  And still lecturing. He waggled his finger at Blair and reminded for the umpteenth time, "me first, must come get me first. ab-so-lut-le!"  
  
Blair captured the finger and pretended to eat it while finding a new spot to tickle, thus sending Jake into another round of giggles. Flannel-clad legs kicked out, body squirming to avoid the relentless fingers as his voice huffed out, "me, get me first!"  
  
"I am getting you, young man! I'm getting you here," he lifted the yellow tops of Jake's pajamas and blew hard against the boy's stomach, "On your tummy," then he dove in for Jake's neck and blew an even bigger raspberry, "And here, on your neck..."  
  
Jim, who was sitting beside Blair, grabbed one of Jake's flailing hands and pushing the sleeve up, plastered one of his own raspberries against the inside of Jake's elbow.  
  
"not fair, not fair, double whammies!" Jake squealed delightedly.  
  
"Hey, Chief, we're now officially a pair of double whammies!"  
  
"Naomi will be so pleased, Jim."  
  
Jake's eyes blinked in confusion as his breathing calmed a bit and the fingers stilled.  
  
"nomi?"  
  
"Naomi. She's my mother, Jake."  
  
He shifted in Blair's arms, righted himself and perching on Blair's leg, quizzed,  
"mommy? you have a mommy?"  
  
The room went quiet as both men stared at their charge. He wasn't upset and there appeared to be no sadness in the question, just curiosity.  
  
"Yes, Jake, I have a mother. She travels all over, remember?"  
  
The boy nodded, remembering the Halloween story, then asked, "where is she now?"  
  
"Well, that's a hard one, Hoss. I think she's in New Zealand. She was in Australia last month, for the Olympics, but then she went to visit a friend in New Zealand and I think she's still there."  
  
He seemed to accept that so turned his attention to Jim. "where's your mommy, jim?"  
  
Ellison gently pushed a few curls from Jake's brow and said quietly, "My mother is gone, Jake."  
  
"gone? like... bluey is gone?"  
  
Voice soft and low, Blair answered for Jim. "Yes, just like Bluey. And it's now time for all good Jakes to be in bed. Halloween comes mighty early, okay?"  
  
He got up, Jake in his arms. Jim stood beside him and together they moved to Jake's bedroom and while Jim pulled back the covers, Blair set Jake down and helped him out of robe and slippers. Jake scrambled under the covers, pulled the wolfpup to his chest and as Blair tucked him in, gazed up into Blair's face and confirmed, "i just knock, uh?"  
  
Running his fingers through the silky curls, Blair nodded. "Yep, you just knock, if the door is shut."  
  
"even if i get up at two o thirty in the morning?"  
  
Chuckling, Blair nodded, "Yep, even if you get up at two o thirty in the morning."  
  
"'kay." He gave a big yawn, signaling the need for the two men to drop their good-night kisses on his head and slip out of the room, switching off the light as they left.  
  
*****  
  
"Whew, that was close. I thought for sure he was going to ask about Diane."  
  
They were back in the living room, on the couch, enjoying the quiet and each other.  
  
"Ditto. What the hell would you have said, and who was Bluey?"  
  
"I'd have told him. He's asked before, while Karen and I were out in the courtyard. She told him the truth. That Diane was in Boston, struggling with her life and that she knew he'd be safe and happy with his grandmother. And Bluey was Karen's cat. A beautiful blue Persian that died the week after I moved in."  
  
"Shit. How did he take it?"  
  
"What? Bluey or hearing about Diane?" At Jim's disgusted look, Blair said, "Like a trooper. He really doesn't remember much of his life with Diane and maybe that's for the best. Hell, I've noticed a difference in him just since I've lived here. And he cried for Bluey. We buried the cat in the courtyard, near the fountain."  
  
Somehow, during Blair's explanation, Jim had lifted Blair's hand and slipped his fingers between Blair's. Now Blair found himself staring down at the large hand wrapped around his and said in wonder, "We're holding hands, Jim."  
  
"You got a problem with that, tough guy?"  
  
Blair snorted and shook his head. "Not at all, it's just so... weird, you know?"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
For a moment, they searched each other's faces, and finding similar emotions mirrored back at them, each man smiled.  
  
"How long, Chief?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"How long have you loved me?"  
  
Blair broke their eye contact and turned his attention to the fireplace. "Does it matter?"  
  
"I want to know, Sandburg. How long?"  
  
"Awhile."  
  
"How long?"  
  
Jim watched the glow from the fire flicker across the handsome face, watched as Blair struggled with an answer, deciding how much to tell and his eyes traveled the profile, the shadows giving Blair's face angles and planes the accentuated his beauty and masculinity.  
  
Jim's breath caught as his mind said, this man is mine.  
  
"How long," he whispered.  
  
"I think I knew for sure when you were undercover, in prison. Okay? You satisfied now?"  
  
"Why didn't you say something?"  
  
"And that would have accomplished exactly what, Jim?"  
  
"I would have, I would have..."  
  
"What? Fallen into my arms? Declared yourself? Get real. You weren't ready. You didn't feel..." his voice trailed off; suddenly uncertain.  
  
"I didn't feel the same way? Didn't feel what I feel now? Is that what you were going to say?"  
  
Blair nodded miserably.  
  
"I don't know if I was in love with you then, Blair, but I do know that when you moved out, it hit me like a sledge hammer. But I also gotta tell you that the dreams I've had since you left are nothing compared to the real thing."  
  
He couldn't have said anything more right if he'd been Shakespeare on his seventh life.  
  
"Damn, you're good, Ellison."  
  
Smiling in the semi-darkness, Jim said, "Yeah, yeah I am."  
  
Blair launched himself at Jim, legs straddling the bigger man as he pushed him back with both hands. "You are good, but Ellison, I'm so much better."  
  
*****  
  
Blair rolled over in Jim's arms and blinked at the clock on the nightstand. Three-thirty. He slipped out of Jim's hold and padded to the door.  
  
Quietly, he pulled it open a bit, then with the cold hitting him, ran gingerly back to bed and jumped in. Quickly pulling the covers over him, he picked up Jim's arm and slid under it.  
  
Smiling, he turned and with a quick punch to his pillow, settled down for another two hours of sleep. Or so he thought.  
  
"Did you just do what i think you did?"  
  
"What would that be?"  
  
"Open the door for jake?"  
  
"Um, well, yes."  
  
Jim pulled him closer and buried his face in hair, lips planting small kisses on the nape of Blair's neck. "you pushover," he mumbled between kisses.  
  
"Moi?"  
  
"You."  
  
He continued to rain kisses on and around Blair's neck, then started to move down. He pushed the gray tee shirt up and attacked strong shoulders, then slid down Blair's spine. As he reached the small of Blair's back, he planted his hands on each of Blair's hips and turned him so that Blair rested on his stomach.  
  
"Uh, jim?"  
  
"Mm?"  
  
Jim swung a leg over him and picked up where he left off, his tongue dipping into the sweet indentation of Blair's lower back.  
  
"Door is open."  
  
"Want me to stop?"  
  
"Never said that."  
  
"Good, shut up."  
  
"Right."  
  
*****  
  
Jake put on his slippers and scrounged around for his robe, found it and after a few struggling moments, got it on. He checked out his window. Yep, starting to get light. It was Halloweeny. He pulled open his door and stepped into the hall.  
  
Blair's door was open. He grinned broadly. Without thought, he burst into the room, jumped onto the bed and--froze.  
  
"Whoa!"  
  
"oops."  
  
He'd landed not on Blair, but on... Jim. He scooted back quickly, suddenly unsure, as his head swiveled around, eyes searching in vain for Blair. Then the sound of a flushing toilet, the bathroom door opening and....  
  
"Jake, hey."  
  
"blair?"  
  
Jim sat up and rested against the headboard, while at the same time, his arms opened for Jake. Blair stayed where he was, knowing that this moment was important.  
  
Jake gazed from one welcoming smile to the other, then grinned, eyes crinkling up with happiness as he jumped into the waiting arms.  
  
Blair slid in beside them and Jake quickly made himself comfortable between the two men.  
  
"so," he asked complacently, "what's for brekkie? and do i get to go trick-or-treating now?"  
  
*****  
  
Blair had little difficulty dropping Jake off this time. The boy seemed to understand that Blair would be back, that he would be going home with him. So he happily ran out to the back yard, calling for Puddles.  
  
As the screen door slammed shut, Maggie picked up a paper bag and handed it to Blair.  
  
"Here you go, one wizard robe. I hope he likes it."  
  
Blair double checked that Jake was occupied and when certain, pulled out the robe.  
  
Maggie had indeed tailored it to fit Jake, but she'd also added a few touches, to make it look like a real wizard robe. She'd sewn on a moon and several stars, then added glitter. Blair knew a certain wizard would be totally entranced.   
  
"Mags, Jake's going to love it!"  
  
"You are going to bring him here, right?"  
  
"We'll bring him on our way to the carnival at the park."  
  
"Aw, thank you, Blair. We'll have something special to put in his bag tonight."  
  
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You're the best, Mags."  
  
Blair stuffed the robe back into the bag, then walked to the back door. "Hey, Jake, I'm going now. Jim and I will pick you up at about five, okay?"  
  
Jake jumped up, Puddles flying alongside him as he ran to the door. "you won't be late, don't be late," he warned.  
  
"We won't be late."  
  
"can we have hamburgers and 'roni and cheese, like you did?"  
  
Smiling fondly down at the happy, excited face, he said, "I don't see why not. Be good and we'll see you later, okay?"  
  
"kiss, then be good."  
  
"Oops, sorry." Blair pushed open the screen door and knelt in front of Jake. The boy wrapped his arms around Blair's neck and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Blair started to return it, but Jake shook his head and said, "s-keemo kiss."  
  
They rubbed noses and laughing, Blair stood and with a last ruffle of curls, he headed to work.  
  
*****  
  
The criminals of Cascade had a field day on Halloween and the Cascade PD was kept hopping.  
  
The influx of calls relating strange burglaries, like the theft of three bags of blood from the Red Cross Blood Bank, or hold-ups with the perps dressed as Bonnie and Clyde, not to mention complaints of alien faces peering into windows, were the norm.  
  
Crank calls increased by over 150% and, to top off the morning, two children from Madison Elementary School disappeared while on a tour. Of the Cascade Police Department.  
  
Losing two children who were being led through the PD by their teacher and Officer Wagstaff of Public Relations would have proved quite embarrassing if not for a young neophyte from Major Crime. Blair quickly deduced that the one location in the station that would beckon two eight-year-olds would be the holding cells.  
  
A troop of officers traipsed down to Holding and, sure enough, the two escapees were found. The boys, one dressed up as a really icky dead person, the other as a hobo, had their faces pressed up against the bars of a cell as they listened with wide eyed wonder to the droning of a drunk who was certain that aliens lived in his scalp.  
  
The zombie and hobo were collected and safely delivered to the teacher and a highly embarrassed Officer Wagstaff. No one failed to notice that both boys were scratching their scalps thoroughly.  
  
Blair headed back upstairs, smiling at the remembered sight of the two boys on their knees, fingers wrapped excitedly around the jail bars. His stomach grumbled its need for food which automatically brought his arm up so that he could check his watch--eleven-thirty.  Lunch time.  
  
He pushed his way into the bullpen and wasn't in the least surprised to see Jim standing there, Blair's leather jacket in his hands. Blair glanced around quickly, frowning at the number of detectives still working.  
  
"Are you crazy, Jim?" Then under his breath, "You're supposed to tone down this stuff here in the bullpen."  
  
As Blair slipped into his jacket, Jim chuckled. "Darwin, I may just have to give you a new nickname. Everyone knows, Chief. In case you missed it, they're detectives."  
  
Eyes blinking like a blue neon sign, Blair found himself at a loss for words, but his mouth, still hoping for the best, hung open. Jim placed a finger on Blair's chin and gently pushed up. "Now, come on, I'm starved."  
  
Blair shook his head in wonder as Jim guided him to the elevator. As they stepped inside, Jim added wickedly, "And it ain't for food, Sandburg."  
  
*****  
  
"Man, I can handle a working lunch."  
  
"Yeah, me too." Jim sighed and stretched, his muscles protesting only slightly. "You make a wonderful lunch, by the way."  
  
"Um, so do you. Tasty, filling, a bit salty with just a piquant of spice."  
  
"You dork."  
  
Blair licked his lips, then smiling, rolled onto his back and stared up at Jim's skylight. How many times had he dreamed of being up here with Jim? Too many times to count. And now, because the loft was only minutes from the station, he was here. In Jim's bed, relaxed, well loved and still grinning at his reciprocation.  
  
"You know, Ellison, you're not a half-bad kisser, as kissers go."  
  
"May I return the compliment?"  
  
"Hell, knock yourself out."  
  
"Just did, Chief, just did."  
  
They both chuckled as Jim moved onto his side and propped his head on his hand. For a moment he just stared at his, what, lover? He frowned and pushing some stray hair from Blair's face, asked, "What should we be calling each other now?"  
  
"What, we get new names now that we're doing it? Is this some new loft rule?"  
  
Jim gave the errant hair a tug and scoffed, "Oh, yeah, rule number 33, make love in bed, receive new nicknames. I mean, you doofus, are you my lover? My..." he struggled with an alternative, which allowed Blair to jump in.  
  
"Love toy? Your Master Lovemaker? Your significant short person? Your bed-warmer? Your security blanket? Your..."  
  
"Jerk-off, my sweet sucker, my dill pickle..."  
  
"DILL PICKLE? Oh, I draw the line at that one, bucko." He punctuated his remark by rolling over onto his stomach, punching Jim lightly in the arm, then resting his chin on his crossed arms. Jim was about to respond when he noticed the sheet. The yellow sheet which now just barely covered Blair's ass. His eyes fixated on the gentle swell that the sheet teased him with and he groaned.  
  
"You okay, Jim?"  
  
When he received no answer, he turned his head and followed Jim's gaze.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Jim tore his eyes from the delectable mounds and found Blair staring at him. "I, uh..."  
  
"You want to, Jim?"  
  
Jim's pale blues glittered back at him and he smiled.  
  
"Guess that's a yes?"  
  
"Yes," then, "You okay with this?"  
  
"You've got the necessities?"  
  
Jim snorted and huffed, "Me? Mr. Boy Scout, always be prepared Ellison? Get real."  
  
"Well, whaddya waiting for, Christmas?"  
  
Jim leaned across Blair's body and fumbled in the nightstand drawer. He triumphantly held up the Wet and several condoms.  
  
"Uh, Jim? You've got four condoms there and it's twelve."  
  
The ecstatic expression on Jim's face disappeared like the sun on a suddenly cloudy day. "Shit. Twelve."  
  
Blair decided to throw Jim a bone. "Of course, Spencer's secretary did call and reschedule the interview for two, but still-- _four_ condoms?" He let his lips curl into a smug grin.  
  
Jim glanced down at the goodies in his hand and immediately tossed two of the condoms over his shoulder. "Right."  
  
Laughing, Blair leaned over and planted one Jim's lips. "Man, you are too much."  
  
"Time will tell, Chief. Time will tell."  
  
Hand still holding the back of Jim's head, Blair cocked his and said, "Well, you've now got all the time in the world, so let's get this show on the road."  
  
"So romantic, Sandburg."  
  
"Yep, that's me."  
  
*****  
  
Jim ran a hand down Blair's back, letting it slide under the sheet and over the swelling flesh. He could feel Blair's muscles clench and Jim could imagine how that clenching would feel around him. He pushed the sheet down and away, his eyes taking in the sight.  
  
"It's just a butt, Jim."  
  
Dropping a kiss on Blair's butt, Jim smiled against the silky skin, the smile widening as he felt small goose bumps rise up.  
  
"Sandburg, I have a 'just a butt'; you have El Dorado and Shangri-La rolled into one fine ass."  
  
"Okay, that may have just been the supreme compliment of all time. For that, you will go to heaven. And by the way? On a scale of one to ten, your ass ranks a twenty."  
  
Jim decided to forestall anymore Blairspeak. He licked a trail up the right ass cheek, then bit him.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!"  
  
Okay, that hadn't worked.  
  
"You _bit_ me!"  
  
Jim licked over the small bite mark and grinned.  
  
Blair's head dropped back down and he whispered, "Do it again."  
  
As Jim watched, stunned, Blair blushed. To his roots. And at last Jim got it.  
  
"Jesus, no one has ever... I mean, you're a-- _shit_." Then in a voice full of awe, he said, "You're a virgin. No one has ever made love to you, have they?"  
  
Blair's eyes closed as his flushed skin went a deeper red. "You're not helping here, Jim."  
  
At that moment, Jim Ellison felt tender and humble all at once.  That Blair was offering this to him; that he trusted Jim Ellison beyond any others. His head rested on Blair's right ass cheek and one hand gently stroked the quivering back. "I love you, Blair. Love you so much." Then quietly, in a voice raw with emotion, he said, "Thank you."  
  
Blair felt his heart swell with love. He rolled over, carefully, and pulled Jim up to him. When Jim's face was inches from his, he grinned and said softly, "Just do it, Ellison."  
  
Jim returned the grin and giving Blair a small salute, said, "At your command, sir."  
  
They kissed, laughing gently into it, then parted and once more Blair rolled onto his stomach as Jim prepared himself and Blair.    
  
Jim made love to Blair as if there was no other purpose in his life, and as if Blair were the only; and the first. Which, for all intents and purposes, was true. There had been no other before Blair.  
  
Time was holding for them, the past didn't exist, the world was just beginning.  
  
When Jim finally entered Blair, it was almost anti-climatic. Almost.  
  
Passion-filled eyes took in the sweat soaked hair, the straining muscles, the lips moving silently, Blair now beyond the ability to make a sound. Jim thrust, Blair arched, fingers clenched, bodies moved.  
  
But Blair wasn't close enough to Jim, he needed to have him skin to skin. As his body pulled back, he brought Blair up and into his chest. Which drove his cock deep and Blair's whole body arched as his prostate was stroked.  
  
Hands gripped Jim's hips, urging him to thrust again and Jim could do no less. With one hand stroking Blair's cock, Jim plunged in and with a strangled yell, Blair came. And that was all Jim needed. With two more animalistic thrusts, Jim climaxed.  
  
*****  
  
The world continued to spin on its axis, people scurried around the city, but at 852 Prospect, two men slowed their breathing as hands held onto any part of the other's body that they could reach.  
  
"I can't believe what just happened."  
  
"What, Chief?"  
  
"I had an out of body experience, man. You sent me to the moon."  
  
"So, are we talking green cheese or something more exotic?"  
  
"We're talking the finest cheese known to man, and can I go again tonight?"  
  
Jim kissed Blair's beautiful square jaw and laughed. "Nope, tonight, it's my turn."  
  
*****  
  
Eventually, the world intruded.  They had to clean up and get back to work.  But the rest of the day flew by, filled with interviews, arrests, paperwork and a surprise appearance by Detective Baxter.  
  
The man walked uneasily up to Jim's desk and, after struggling a moment, finally managed to spit out an apology, followed by another apology aimed in Blair's general direction.  
  
Chances were that if both men weren't so... satisfied, the apology might have been given short shrift. But, as it was, Blair smiled sappily up at the man and waved off any need for an apology. Jim was only slightly less sappy as he said, "Hey, you're a jerk, we all know it, no apology necessary, Baxter."  
  
Baxter colored to his roots, mumbled something about deserving that remark, then hustled himself out of Major Crime--backward.  
  
Jim and Blair glanced at each other and burst into laughter.  
  
*****  
  
At five sharp, computers were shut down, desks were straightened and two detectives hurried out before some sleazeball decided to hold up the Cascade Senior Citizen Chorale and threaten to drip candle wax over them if the city didn't pay up.  
  
Jim's immediate duty was a quick trip to the store for dinner ingredients while Blair picked up Jake.  But Jim made a slight detour--to a costume rental store.  
  
*****  
  
Aware of his orders to 'don't stop, don't pass go, come an' get me first', as delivered by Jake earlier in the day, Blair smiled at Maggie and immediately asked, "Where is he?"  
  
"Oh, honey, he's outside. Other than his nap and a phone call from Karen, I've had to keep him there almost all day. Blair, I've never seen him so hyper! He's so excited about tonight, he can barely stop bouncing."  
  
Moving to the back door, Maggie following, Blair nodded, smiling. "Yeah, kind of noticed that myself this morning. Spilled his juice, he was so excited. And I swear, the Volvo was bouncing."  
  
He slid aside the curtains that covered the back door window and peered out, trying to get a glimpse of Jake before the boy spotted him. A flash of green and Jake appeared; and as quickly disappeared.  
  
"Whew."  
  
"Yep. What have I been telling you? He's the gosh-darned Energizer Bunny!"  
  
The streak of green ran past again, going the other direction now and, with a deep breath, Blair opened the door, suddenly and deeply aware of what his own mother must have gone through with her 'Blairicane'. God, how she'd laugh now.  
  
He stepped out onto the back porch and yelled, "JAKE!"  
  
A moment later, with a loud 'YIPPEE' Jake ran around the corner and launched himself at Blair who caught him, swung him up, then laughed delightedly at the total, innocent joy on Jake's face.  "you're here! can we go trick-or-treating now, huh, can we?"  
  
"Hey, it's not even dark yet, and what about your costume and dinner and Jim and--"  
  
Jake put his hand over Blair's mouth, then laughing, wrapped his arms around Blair's neck and blew a huge raspberry against Blair's skin. Leaning back in Blair's arms, Jake gave him a ballistic grin and squealed happily, "gotcha!"  
  
"You stinker. Come on, let's go home. The sooner we get home, the sooner it will get dark, in a metaphysical kind of way."  
  
Hugs and kisses to Maggie, followed by more promises to stop by and let her see Jake's costume, a final kiss to Puddles and they were on their way.  
  
*****  
  
"Hmm." Blair stepped back and tilted his head first one direction, then the other. "Yep, perfect."  
  
Jake stood in the middle of his room, arms out from his side. "purfect?"  
  
"Perfect. The black sweats will keep you warm and will add to the overall feel of being a wizard." He glanced down at the shoes and wondered for the hundredth time if he'd ever been so attached to a pair of shoes? Maybe someday, Jake would permit a new pair. Someday.  "Okay, why don't you play in here for a bit, while I change into my costume. What say you, welp?"  
  
"kay, but how long? it's dark out, already dark out."  
  
"I'll change fast and then we'll shove Jim into the bedroom for his change, okay?"  
  
Jake made a waving motion with his hand and said impatiently, "shoo."  
  
*****  
  
Blair walked out into the hall and decided to check in on Jim before changing. He walked into the kitchen to find that Jim had finished cleaning up the mess left behind by frying hamburgers and bubbling macaroni and cheese. The leftovers were, Blair was certain, already wrapped and tucked away in the refrigerator.  
  
He walked up behind his partner and, placing a proprietary hand on Jim's hindquarters, chirped, "How's my happy little homemaker?"  
  
Giving the countertop a last swipe, Jim asked, "Sandburg, have you ever considered how you'd sound as a soprano?"  
  
Blair reached around Jim and snagged the only food item left on the sink, a piece of apple, but before popping it into his mouth, said, "Actually I do know how I'd sound. Had a soprano voice until I was fifteen. Sprouted chest hair and the strong, masculine voice you now know and love, all in the same summer."  
  
Jim set the sponge down and regarded his grinning partner. "Fifteen, with chest hair. Now there's something I'd have paid money to see."  
  
"What, you didn't? Naomi failed to share those pictures with you?" Then under his breath, which did no good at all, he muttered a heartfelt, "Thank god."  
  
Jim swatted the retreating rear, causing Blair to give a little jump and throw over his shoulder, "Hey, you just lost your right to change first, unless you'd care to race for the bedroom?"  
  
Blair then put himself into a runner's stance, eyes daring Jim to take him up on his challenge. Jim grinned. "You know, Chief, if the end result was other than the right to change first, you'd have yourself a race. But since it isn't," he shrugged, then bowed low while at the same time making a cavalier sweeping gesture with his arm and finished, "the bedroom is all yours."  
  
"Dipshit."  
  
*****  
  
Blair came out of the bedroom, in full costume and immediately stopped. Jake's bedroom door was closed. He knocked and received his second surprise.    
  
Jim's voice came out from behind the closed door, muffled but specific.  "Stay out or pay the consequences, Sandburg! Jake's out in the living room; no doubt excited and bouncing. Go leash him."  
  
Blair laughed and said, "I could probably handle the consequences, Ellison and we'll certainly talk about those tonight. In the meantime, I leave you in peace."  
  
In the living room, he found Jake standing in front of the big window, hands gripping the low sill as he stood on tiptoe to gaze out on their cemetery. All the pumpkins had been lit, including their own, the decorations were delightfully spooky; the lighting eerie. Jake was bouncing on his toes, his energy and barely restrained excitement filling the space around him.  
  
"Hey, Hoss, you almost ready? Cherry will be here any second."  
  
Jake dropped down from his toes and turned around. His expression moved from one of excited impatience to flat-out awe. His blue eyes went saucer-round and he mouthed out, "indy!"  
  
Blair's costume reflected the fact that, as of two weeks ago, Jake's other hero was Indiana Jones. The two of them had watched the movie together, with Jake not so much as twitching during the entire film. When it came time to choose his costume, Blair never hesitated.  
  
Besides, truth be told, a secret wish had once been that he would become Indiana Jones, when he grew up.  
  
He stood before Jake wearing his own bush shirt, three buttons open, dark khaki twill pants and black leather jacket. From his belt hung a borrowed bullwhip. The only items he'd had to purchase were the mink brown fedora on his head (he'd wisely tied his hair back) and the WWI gas mask bag he'd slung over his shoulder, the strap across his chest.  
  
"Well, what do you think, Great Wizard Jake?"  
  
Great Wizard Jake took a tentative step forward, hand reaching out to touch. Blair dropped to one knee and asked, "You ready for an adventure tonight, Hoss?"  
  
Jake nodded, awestruck, as he touched first the whip, then the brim of the hat. "soft." His eyes met Blair's and whispered shyly, "can i?"  
  
Blair, understanding exactly what Jake was asking, took off the fedora and set it on top of Jake's head. It immediately slid down over his eyes and ears. Jake giggled as Blair slid the hat up and back. "Come on, let's take a look."  
  
He lifted Jake, the boy's body fully stretched, Blair's arm just under Jake's butt, and he headed into the bathroom. Once there, he turned Jake around, his arms now holding him around the boy's waist.  
  
Jake gazed at himself, at the hat and grinned. Then he took his finger and moved the hat back even more. "i'm ready--lets kick butt."  
  
Blair let out a quick laugh. He placed a kiss on the sweet neck and said, "You got it, Great Wizard."  
  
*****  
  
Back in the living room, Blair put Jake's staff and wand on the couch, picked up the mask and was just holding it out when Jake's eyes popped wide. Blair turned to find himself staring at--Davy Crockett.  
  
Jim's tall frame was encased in buckskin, fringe and all. A rather remarkable replica of Crockett's famous rifle, Betsy, was slung over his shoulder and, hanging from his belt, a rubber tomahawk.  
  
As Blair circled the frontiersman, Jake pointed and squealed, "davy crockett!"  
  
Blair chuckled, but continued his viewing, admiring the snug fit of the pants and the way the shirt stretched across Jim's broad shoulders. He stepped around in front of Ellison, who quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"Um," then Blair began to sing. "Born on a mountain top in Tennessee, greenest state in the land of the free," his voice, low and mellow was soon joined by Jake's light, pure child voice...  
  
"...kilt him a b'ar when he was only three, Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the wild frontier!"  
  
Jake clapped wildly, then gave a little whoop.  
  
Jim, supremely proud of his costume, took a good look at his partner and gave serious consideration to the merits of caveman behavior. He settled on whistling instead, then saying, "Indiana Jones, as I live and breathe."  
  
"At your service, Davy. Now if we could just get our Great Wizard put together, we'd be in business."  
  
Both men turned their attention to Jake, who immediately grabbed the mask that Blair still held. Rushing to the couch, he picked up his staff and wand, clumsily pulled on his mask and turned to face his audience.  
  
"i'm almost ready," his voice was muffled by the rubber but the blue eyes shining out from behind the mask brought loving grins to both men.  
  
"Almost? My man, you're as ready as you'll ever be! Now let's go kick butt and save the chocolate from all the evildoers of the world!"  
  
Blair creased the top of his fedora, placed it on his head, fixed the brim and, after tweaking Jim's coonskin tail, headed for the front door.  
  
"blair?"  
  
Blair turned and waved his hand. "Come on, Jake. Shake a wizard leg. Time and chocolate wait for no man."  
  
Jake gazed from Blair to Jim and back again. Shoulders slumping slightly, he walked slowly to the door, staff and wand in hand. He was almost at the door when Indy said, "Wait, there's something wrong. "  
  
Jake turned, wide, child eyes staring out from behind the wizened face of the mask and he asked hopefully, "what?"  
  
"You don't have anything to carry your candy, Great Wizard. What will it be, a pillow case or," he walked into the dining room, picked up something and returning to the living room, he held up a large, plastic pumpkin with a black handle. "Or _this_?"  
  
"oh, that!" He accepted the pumpkin and waited.  
  
"Is something wrong, Jake?"  
  
He glanced down at the ground and mumbled, "no, no, nothin wrong."  
  
Blair winked at Jim and asked, "Hey, Davy, I can't quite figure this out, but something still seems to be wrong. Got any ideas?"  
  
Jim looked around, puzzled and said, "Everything looks Jake to me, Indy."  
  
Blair scratched his head under the hat and closed his eyes. Jake waited patiently, if a little sad. Suddenly Blair snapped his fingers. "Got it!"  
  
Jake glanced up at Jim, who shrugged helplessly, his eyes dancing with mirth.  
  
"Davy, it's our Great Wizard. He can't go out like that! Where's his magical robe of power?"  
  
"Well, I'll be danged, Indy, you're absolutely right." He gazed down at Jake and asked earnestly, "You do have a magical wizard's robe, don't you, Great Wizard Jake?"  
  
The Great Wizard pulled the rubber mask up and let it rest on top of his head, trapping his short curls. "no, no magikal robe, " he said sadly.  
  
"Oh," Blair said, "I'm sure you're wrong, Great Wizard. There must be a magical robe here. I can feel the awesome power. All we need do is find it, Sir."  
  
Hope flared again, and not the smallest bit of suspicion as Jake asked, "find it?"  
  
Blair nodded wisely. "Find it."  
  
Jake scrunched his face, took his wand and held it out in front of him. Blair nodded sagely saying, "Yes, of course, the wand."  
  
Jake started walking, the soles of his shoes squeaking on the wood floor. He moved into the hall, heading toward the one room he'd not been in for what seemed to him, a long time--his room. He pushed open the door and there, on the bed, in all its splendor, rested his wizard's robe. And beside it, Jim's contribution, a heavy, gold-braided cord.  
  
He put his wand down on the bed, picked up the robe and breathed out, "bee-u-ti-ful."  
  
Blair joined him and sat down on the edge of the bed. He took the robe from eager fingers that couldn't get enough of touching the stars, the moons or the shiny glitter.  
  
"Arms up, Great Wizard." Jake obeyed and Blair slipped the wizard robe, over Jake's head and mask. Once down over the small, wiggling body, he picked up the cord, adjusted the robe, brought the cord around Jake's back and tied it in front, making sure to leave one end longer than the other. Then he turned Jake to face Jim and said, "Now everything is just right, isn't it, Mr. Crockett?"  
  
Jim pulled the mask down, handed Jake the wand and the staff that Jim had brought into the room with him and agreed, "Couldn't be better, Mr. Jones."  
  
*****  
  
All three had just stepped out into the spooky cemetery when Makeba Paramour arrived with Cherry in her arms. Jake started to run over to greet them, but Blair grabbed the back of the poncho and said, "Whoa, Great Wizard, don't want to run, might trip over the power coming from your staff."  
  
The rubber mask nodded, the staff was handed off and Jake walked quickly over to the women. Makeba set Cherry down and both children stared at each other's costumes; both suddenly shy.  
  
Cherry was dressed as an African Princess, with a long colorful dress that draped over one shoulder. On her head, she wore a matching turban and around her neck, a beautiful beaded necklace. But for Jake, the real draw was what Cherry held under her arm.  
  
A stuffed cheetah.  
  
Makeba walked over to stand beside Blair as a few other children entered the courtyard and, as small children often do, they all immediately bonded. Giggles floated up as Jake took great pride in guiding Cherry and his new friends around the cemetery.  
  
Makeba watched and shook her head. "Are you sure you two want both those kids for the evening?"  
  
Blair smiled easily, saying, "Oh, yeah, Makeba, no problem. We'll deliver Cherry right after the carnival. Sometime between eight-thirty and nine, okay?"  
  
"That'll be fine, Blair." She turned her attention away from the children long enough to ask, "How's Karen? Is everything all right?"  
  
"Looks as though she and Diane will be arriving on Thursday."  
  
Makeba's face lit up as she exclaimed, "Oh, that's wonderful, Blair! I'm so happy for her. I'll pray it all works out for Diane. For both of them." She glanced over at Cherry, then back at Blair. "Well, I'd best be getting home. Terry has plans for our few hours alone. We'll see you later and, again, thank you."  
  
"Go, enjoy," Blair encouraged. Laughing, she yelled her good-bye and a warning for Cherry to be good or else and in a whirl, she was gone.  
  
"Well," Blair turned to Jim, eyes crinkling with humor, "Guess it's time to get us some candy, eh, Davy?"  
  
*****  
  
They'd hit every apartment within the Anjasmayo; all the residents were home and ready for the onslaught. Now they were at the last home on Mission Lane.  
  
Jim and Blair stood a few feet from the spooky, spider-web covered porch and watched as Jake bravely knocked. The door squeaked open and a tall, headless man appeared.  
  
"Y-e-s-s-s?"  
  
The Great Wizard blinked up the creature as the African Princess slid unobtrusively behind the wizard. Jake held out his pumpkin and said, "trickortreat!"  
  
A large bowl seemed to magically appear in the green hands and large, rubbery fingers dipped in and pulled out--gummi worms. The wiggly worms were dropped into the pumpkin, then into Cherry's Halloween bag.  
  
"thankyousir."  
  
"Y-ou'-re W-e-l-c-o-mmmme..."  
  
Eerie music started to play and, as several other children ran up and past Jim and Blair, Jake and Cherry stepped down. Cherry threw herself at Jim, who picked her up. Jake, walking a bit slower due to his mask and staff, came up to Blair and leaned against his leg.  
  
"wow."  
  
"Yeah, Jake, wow. What did it give you?"  
  
He looked up, then down into his pumpkin, then back up and said breathlessly, "gummieworms."  
  
He held his pumpkin up for inspection and repeated, "gummiworms, blair. real gummiworms."  
  
Even after the Anjasmayo and twenty houses, their Great Wizard still couldn't believe that all he had to do was walk up, say 'trick-or-treat' and people would give him free candy. Every house, decorated or not, was like a miracle to him.  
  
As they walked back home, Cherry regained her composure and was chattering away in Jim's ear.   Jake, whose mask was once again on top of his head, kept looking inside his pumpkin, then up at Blair in wonder.  
  
"i have budderfingers, and mmm's, and cookies, blair, and, and, babiesruthy, and, kisses and i didn'd do anything."  
  
"Did you brave every house?"  
  
"yup."  
  
"Did you say thank-you every time?"  
  
"yup."  
  
"Are you the Great Wizard Jake?"  
  
"yup."  
  
"There you go, my man, there you go."  
  
"a'course."  
  
Jake paused and gazed up longingly at the fact that Cherry was in Jim's arms. He sighed and looked rather pointedly at Blair.  
  
"You know what I think, Great Wizard?"  
  
"what?"  
  
"Wands and staffs of Great Wizards get tired and need resting."  
  
"yup!" Blair lifted him, staff and all.  
  
"Where to now, my friends?"  
  
Jake and Cherry pointed to nowhere in particular and commanded, "to the carn-ee-fall!"  
  
*****  
  
The Cascade Halloween Carnival was held on Sommerset Drive at the site of what had once been the old library. The property was large enough and during the rest of the year, other than Christmas when it housed trees, the lot served as the area's reclamation center.  
  
For Halloween, colorful booths had been set up on either side of the large lot, allowing a wide aisle to run down the center of the property. About a third of the booths were game booths, with another third serving up delectable foods of various ethnic origins. White elephant and craft booths took up the final third.  
  
At the south end of the property, near the massive parking lot, stood a huge, black tent housing the Haunted House. As Jim and Blair walked from the car, Jake and Cherry between them, Jake made it obvious that that the black tent was his choice for their first stop. His hand slipped from Blair's and he took off at a run, Cherry close behind.  
  
Fortunately, Halloween costumes hampered their flight toward carnival heaven.  
  
"Whoa guys, slow down. You'll see everything, don't worry," Blair admonished. "The Haunted House isn't going anywhere, Jake."  
  
"but, but," blond curls bounced and flew as Jake's head turned first one direction, then another, as he tried to see everything at once. "but--"  
  
Jim, smiling at the urgency in Jake's eyes, interrupted with, "But, we'll start here and work our way up the long aisle, ending with the costume contest at eight-thirty, okay?"  
  
The mention of a costume contest froze Jake in place, causing Cherry to bump into him.  
  
"cos-tumme contest?" He asked, puzzled.  
  
"Yep," Blair said, "A contest for best costume. Jim and I have every intention of entering both of you in the five and under. You guys are a shoo-in."  
  
Cherry looked at Jake.  Jake looked at Cherry.  Unspoken words passed between them and in perfect unison they high-fived each other, saying, "ohyeah!"  
  
Jake then turned to Blair. "but you, can't you be in it too?"  
  
Jim reached over and flicked Blair's hat as he laughingly said, "Oh yeah, Jake, Blair is definitely going to enter. Definitely."  
  
"And so," Blair pulled Jim's tail, "is Davy Crockett. So it's a deal, we all enter and go home with every prize known to man. Right gang?"  
  
Two small hands rose in the air as once again Jake and Cherry chorused together, "ohyeah!"  
  
*****  
  
First stop was indeed the Haunted House, but here, Jake and Cherry were of different minds.  Cherry was absolutely adamant in her refusal to go inside, and Jake actually wavered in the face of his friend's decision. He didn't want to leave her behind. But her own pushing convinced him to go with Blair, while she stayed behind with Jim.  
  
Blair purchased ten dollars worth of tickets for the evening, including two tickets for the Haunted House.  As he and Jake headed in, he couldn't fail to notice Jim's comfortable position on a bench next to where they'd exit.  He also caught the smirk. But payback could be so fun. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at Jake and asked, "Well, Great Wizard, are you ready? Staff and wand at hand?"  
  
Squaring his shoulders and dropping his mask back into place, the boy nodded determinedly.  
  
"read-eeee."  
  
"Then let's go."  
  
*****  
  
Watching his partner disappear inside the tent, Jim smiled broadly. This was too good. Blair Sandburg taking a four-year-old through a haunted house. A tug on his buckskin fringe reminded him that he had a four-year-old on his lap. He looked down at Cherry's happy face and as he started to jiggle his leg, letting her bounce up and down, she put a finger to her lips, leaned forward and whispered, "wannna know a secrut?"  
  
"Is it a good secret?"  
  
Nodding, she said, "the best evuuur." Her words were stuttered out as Jim kept her bouncing.  
  
"Okay, spill." He leaned forward conspiratorially.  
  
She cupped her hand behind Jim's ear and whispered, "i'm gonna marrreee jakey."  
  
All Jim could think was thank God he wasn't the father of the bride.  
  
*****  
  
The haunted house was sponsored by Kennedy High School and consequently, full of high schoolers serving duty as ghosts, goblins and vampires. As Jake entered, his left hand gripping Blair's tightly, right hand holding his staff, he gasped at the spooky sights in front of him.  
  
Eerie lighting flickered like candles and high above their heads, paper bats flew in circles with accompanying chittering. Spider webs and cobwebs filled all available space and in the background, creaking doors, rattling chains and eerie moans and groans could be heard. To their left, two rotting corpses stood behind a closed casket, offering out bowls to all who passed.  
  
The corpse nearest Blair held his offering out to Jake, saying in a low, spooky voice, "try these, my lord wizard--eyeballs from the goblins of Cascade...," he lowered the bowl to Jake's height.  
  
The Great Wizard looked to Indiana Jones for permission, having no doubts that he wanted to taste goblin eyeballs and when Blair nodded, Jake reached in and scooped out one of the rubbery, round balls floating in a sea of reddish goo. Without the slightest hesitation, he popped the slippery orb into his mouth and chomped down. His face scrunched up but gamely, he kept chewing until he could swallow.  
  
"weeeeell, m'lord?"  
  
His mouth working like a dog who'd just eaten a jar of peanut butter, Jake mumbled, "salmty, mtoo salmty."  
  
The corpse agreed and pointed the way to the next exhibit.  
  
Jake continued on and bravely tasted witches brains (spaghetti in pesto sauce), vampire teeth (fang shaped meringue) with Jake taking several of those, and finally Frankenstein's fingers (maple covered nougat) of which he happily munched two and took one for Cherry and one for Jim.  
  
They continued on, walking through sticky, dripping tendrils of ghost breath, fought a Medusa, ran from the Mummy, then doubled back after Jake decided that between a great wizard and Indiana Jones, they should be able to take down one mummy. They finally arrived at the exit, Jake flushed, happy and supremely proud when he handed Jim and Cherry their Frankenstein fingers.  
  
The group moved on to the booths, with the most time spent at the gaming booths designed for the younger children. With lots of help from Jim and Blair, both Cherry and Jake won six stuffed animals, four rubber lizards, which set Jim to laughing and promising to share the joke with Jake someday, and more small plastic toys than either child could possibly lose in a toilet or down a drain in a lifetime.  
  
They rode several of the rides, munched popcorn, and finally it was time to head toward the stage and the costume contest.  
  
Unfortunately, the Ping-Pong ball booth was between them and their goal. As Jim headed toward the booth, Jake and Cherry in tow, Blair grabbed his sleeve and hissed out, "No, you idiot, not this booth. It's Murphy's law: every child will win a goldfish, and goldfish live exactly 15 hours.  Then you have a screeching, heartbroken child and you're flushing the thing down the toilet. Come _on_ \--we have to skip this booth."  
  
Jim whispered back, a wicked grin on his face, "Is it the gold fish that gets flushed or the kid?"  
  
His reward was a slap to the back of his head.  
  
But Blair's argument was moot. Jake had already been handed a ping-pong ball by the clever father on the other side of the counter who had undoubtedly flushed his fair share of goldfish. His grin was wicked and knowing.  
  
Rolling his eyes in frustration, Blair forked over a quarter. Jake closed his eyes and tossed the ball.  
  
Kerplunk.  
  
"WE HAVE A WINNAH!!! WE HAVE A WINNAH!!" yelled the now smug carnival barker. He took Jake's right hand and raised it high in the air as the people around them clapped. Cherry simply looked worshipful as she watched her hero receive his prize--a goldfish in plastic bag full of water. Blair groaned.  
  
*****  
  
Loaded down with prizes, a wand, a staff and a goldfish, the group headed toward the costume contest venue.  
  
While Jim once again sat with Cherry, Blair and Jake went over to the entry table. Blair entered himself and Jim in the adult contest and then Jake and Cherry in the five-and-under category. Taking their numbers, the two walked back to the table housing their winnings, Jim and Cherry.  
  
"Hey, Sandburg, great costume!" The voice belonged to Simon, but the mouth that boomed out the words belonged to a large werewolf.  
  
Grinning, Blair walked up to their boss and chucked him under the chin. "Ah, nice doggy. Jim, is he housebroken?"  
  
Jake, sensing the fun, quipped, "can i keep him?"  
  
The werewolf shook his head and moaned, "I get no respect. Jeesh."  
  
*****  
  
As they waited impatiently for the costume contest to start, Jake and Cherry played with their newest toys while Jim, Blair and Simon sat at the other end of the table, talking quietly.  
  
Jim and Blair learned that Megan was this year's Gypsy Fortune Teller, that Joel and Henri were taking turns at the dunking booth and that Rhonda was serving sweet kisses at the kissing booth. Jim moaned at the idea of still needing to cover three more events.  
  
"Ellison, give it a rest. It's not like you don't have a day off." At Jim's sudden interest, Simon gave out with his patented, booming chuckle, then said wryly, "This Saturday."  
  
"Gee, Jim, maybe if we're real good, he'll let us have Sunday too!"  
  
"Oh, goody Chief."  
  
*****  
  
It was finally time for the contests and Jake, wearing a square with the number 17 on it, and Cherry, wearing a number 18, took their places on the make-shift stage. They had to walk in a circle with twenty other small children, all wearing the typical Halloween garb. The judges watched and took notes, then the children were formed into one long line.  
  
The head judge came up to the stage, took the microphone and addressed the crowd. "Ladies and Gentlemen, your judges have come to their decisions, so without further ado, the award for the scariest costume of the evening goes to... number 4, Pinhead!"  
  
The crowd clapped and Pinhead stepped forward to accepted his prize, a small gold trophy. The head judge stepped up again and said, "The award for the most original costume of the evening goes to... number 18, the African Princess!"  
  
Whooping for joy, Jake jumped up and down on the stage as Cherry stepped forward to accept her trophy, her happy grin bringing forth huge applause.  
  
The judge cleared his throat and waited for the noise and applause to die down before announcing proudly, "And the winner for the best all around costume of the evening goes to... number 17, the wizard!"  
  
Jim, Simon and Blair jumped up and pumped their fists in the air, yelling, "Hooyah!"  
  
Jake hadn't calmed down from watching Cherry win, so he actually missed his own number being called and the little girl next to him, dressed up as Wonder Woman, had to push him forward. He blinked up at the judge who held out the largest trophy.  
  
Great Wizard Jake stuck his staff under his arm and took the award between his two shaking hands and with faltering steps, walked to the edge of the stage where Blair waited.  
  
Jake held out the trophy and behind the mask, Blair could see the stunned blue eyes blinking back at him. Blair held out his arms and suddenly the Great Wizard Jake was a small, overwhelmed four-year-old. He almost fell into the waiting arms.  
  
Blair carried the winner back to their table as everyone clapped and cheered. Jake sat down, pushed his mask up over his head and stared at the sparkling, gold cup. His hand stroked it gently before he turned to Blair and asked in wonder, "i won?"  
  
"Yes, welp, you won. You be the man!"  
  
*****  
  
There were two more winners that night. Simon for scariest costume, thanks to Jim who turned over his entry after scratching out his own name and replacing it with Simon's. And the final winner? Indiana Jones--for Best Overall Costume among the adults.  
  
On the way out, several children gathered around them, all asking for Indy's autograph. Amazingly enough, most of those children were brought over by their mothers. Jim and Simon felt honored to receive the overflow.  
  
*****  
  
Both children were in car seats that had been strapped down in the back seat of the Volvo. Jim was able to sit up front and, as Blair negotiated the streets, he whistled at the fact that the streets were still full of trick-or-treaters, albeit, much bigger children than earlier in the evening.  
  
Blair pulled into Cherry's driveway and the screen door immediately opened. Makeba and Terry came down the flagstone steps to take their happy and sleepy child. Terry's eyes widened in horror as Blair gleefully turned over the stuffed animals, the trophy and... the goldfish. It seemed Jake was so upset by Cherry's not winning one that he just had to give his to her.  
  
Taking the plastic bag and holding it out in front of him while Makeba took Cherry, he dryly remarked, "Gee Blair, thanks so much. Jake's generosity is... overwhelming. And I'm certain you hated to part with this, right?"  
  
Snickering, Blair said, "Devastated, Terry, just devastated."  
  
*****  
  
The courtyard's resemblance to a cemetery was even more pronounced as the two men, Jim carrying the sleeping Jake, proceeded inside. The candles in the pumpkins had long since been snuffed out and the eerie Halloween lighting was off. As a result, the long shadows created by the moon made for an even spookier effect.  
  
Juggling prizes and various costume parts, Blair got the door open and, as he flicked on the light, he found himself sighing in contentment. He was home. With little thought, he dumped everything in his arms onto the couch and followed Jim into Jake's room.  
  
Working together they got the boy out of his costume and were just removing his shoes when Jake's sleepy eyes opened.  "over? halloweeny over?"  
  
Helping Jake into the bottoms of his pj's, Blair nodded. "Fraid so, Jake."  
  
Looking a bit sad, the small boy asked, "no mo free candy?'  
  
"Well, not until next year, Hoss."  
  
"how far way is neckt year?"  
  
Slipping the top over Jake's head, Jim answered, "Well, you'll be five, Jake. You've got 12 months to wait."  
  
Falling back onto his pillow, he yawned and decided, "too long. do again tomorrow."  
  
Both men had to admire the thinking. Seemed logical too.  
  
Blair pulled the blanket up to Jake's chin. "Well, you'll be pretty busy tomorrow, what with showing off your prizes to Maggie and Puddles, not to mention reliving everything by sharing today with Gammy. She's gonna call you first thing in the morning and she expects the full scoop."  
  
Smiling dreamily, Jake nodded. "tell gammy every-thing! and give her my stuffted turtle."  
  
"Sounds like a deal, welp. Good-night."  
  
"nighty-night, indy. and davy?"  
  
Jim rested his hand on the top of Jake's head. "Yeah partner?"  
  
"don't go wrassling any b'ars, 'kay?"  
  
Grinning at Blair, he promised, "Aye, aye, Great Wizard."  
  
Jake's eyes were lowering as his fingers found his old, bedraggled wolfpup. He rolled over, snuggled in and was asleep.  
  
For a moment, neither man wanted to move, content to watch Jake sleep. Jim's eyes were fixed on the small chest as it rose up and down, and on the fingers clenching and unclenching around the fur of the stuffed animal.  He marveled at the ease with which Jake slept.  
  
"Kind of a miracle, isn't he, Jim?" Blair finally whispered.  
  
Taking in a deep breath, Jim Ellison agreed.  
  
Arms around each other's waists, they walked into the living room.  
  
*****  
  
Blair sat on the floor in the middle of the living room, Jake's candy in a pile in front of him. His face a study in concentration, he was bent over the mound, hair cascading forward and successfully hiding the wicked, possessive gleam in his eyes.  
  
Jim sat on the couch and watched, fascinated, as Blair's fingers plucked a piece of candy and placed it in a small pile to his left.  
  
The fingers went back, rooted around in the mound, brought out another brightly wrapped confection and dropped that on in a small pile to his right.  
  
After watching this process three more times, Jim had to ask.  
  
"Sandburg, you were born on May 24th, right?"  
  
The head nodded but didn't look up as another small square of candy was dumped in yet a third pile, this one way off to the side.  
  
"And the year... that would have been 1969, yes?"  
  
Again the absent nod. Another piece hit the pile on the right.  
  
"So," he pretended to count on his fingers," that would make you--"  
  
"Don't forget, you can use your toes, Jim."  
  
"Thirty," Ellison said.  
  
The spiky, flyaway hair bobbed as Blair nodded.  
  
"Thirty. You're thirty years old, Sandburg. You're thirty years old and yet you're sitting on the floor, legs splayed out in front you, surrounded by piles of candy, performing some strange ritual that only God could know about and... and ---"  
  
"This is the perfectly normal, all-American parental ritual of separating out the haul of candy that small wizards collected from their nocturnal sojourn on behalf of Halloween."  
  
He pointed to the pile on his right, without lifting his head or slowing his task, "That is the best candy pile. The favorite candy pile, so to speak. It is here that one will find the full size Butterfinger, the huge Baby Ruth, the Mounds bar, the Almond Joys and the best of the best," he held up two small pieces wrapped in gold foil, "Almond Roca."  
  
"In this pile," he pointed to the pile on his left, "you will find the smaller chunks of candy, some unknown and never before seen, but that look interesting enough to give a try."  
  
"In this pile," he pointed to the one that sat way off to the side, "You find the truly despicable candy. The candy no child in their right mind would want. They come in strange flavors, like Kiwi, Orange-Artichoke and are usually in colors guaranteed to make you puke... like puce."  
  
Jim indicated a fourth pile that contained only a few pieces. "And that pile, Mr. Halloween Candy Expert?"  
  
"That pile is the Sentinel pile. The pile dedicated to testing the sentinel's abilities to discover drugs, razor blades, etc."  
  
"Sandburg, you're... thirty years old."  
  
The head finally lifted and blue eyes regarded him quizzically. "And your point, Jim?"  
  
"Uh, I wanna do it too?"  
  
*****  
  
Blair had locked up and, following a candy fight, the candy had been bagged and put away. It was after eleven and as Blair flicked on the bedside light, he asked, "Shower? Or just fall straight into bed?"  
  
Jim watched the fedora hit the bed and grinned. "Neither. I have it on good authority that Davy Crockett has long lusted after a certain archeologist and he must have satisfaction, now that said archeologist is within his grasp. Besides, it's my turn."  
  
Blair was just unbuttoning his shirt as Jim spoke and his fingers froze. Then he glanced down at Jim's burgeoning erection. "You think you and 'Betsy' there, can handle my... whip?"  
  
Jim rolled his eyes and quipped back, "I don't know about Betsy, but Jim Jr. can handle your whip anytime."  
  
Challenge in his sparkling blues, Blair retorted, "Well bring it on, Ellison, bring it on."  
  
*****  
  
Blair was wide awake and staring into the darkness; Jim's calm, even breathing soothing his soul. Jim's head was resting on Blair's chest, one arm and leg draped across Blair's body. As Blair ran his fingers over the soft spikes of Jim's hair, he mulled over the evening.  
  
To say that it had been fun would be an understatement. Blair couldn't remember enjoying any Halloween more. Not that there'd been that many Halloweens. Too much travel and too many Halloweens spent in a train, bus, plane or car.  
  
Still, there were a few memorable ones, but none that held a candle to this one, for so many reasons. He let a finger travel down and across Jim's forehead, to the man's cheek and finally to his lips. At that moment, Blair Sandburg had everything.  
  
But on Thursday, he'd have to start letting go of at least one thing--Jake.   In the darkness, Blair frowned. He'd made a mistake--a huge one. He'd begun to think of himself as Jake's father and Jake as his...  
  
His. Son.  
  
But he wasn't. Jake belonged to Diane and soon, Blair would have to pull away, make himself scarce.  He'd have to give the woman the chance to be a mother, to find a life for her and her son. _Her_ son--not his.  
  
It was going to hurt--big time.  
  
*****  
  
Jake had been with Blair for five nights and four days. Jim had been with them for three nights. A short span of time, and yet all three had already fallen into a comfortable routine. Wednesday was no exception.  
  
Jake was still hyper from the adventure of his first Halloween, and it was most evident as he spoke with Karen at seven. His words and pronunciations flowed non-stop, arm waving his trophy in the air as if his gammy could actually see it.  
  
"and blair won, gammy, and cherry and simon and i won'ded a fishy but i gave it to cherry and i won'ded dinosaurs and toys and whistles and a stuffted bear and i filled my pumpkin and i'm saving a whoooole bunch of candy for you, gammy and blair took piccies and he went as indy, gammy! and jim was," his voice took on a sing-song quality as he said, "da-ve, daa-ve crockett, king of the wild froon-teer!"  
  
Blair walked into the living room, tucking a green and white flannel shirt into his jeans and as he heard Jake's voice, he stopped, arms dropping to his side. He wanted nothing more than to just watch and listen.  
  
"cherry wouldn't go, gammy, she were 'fraid, but not me and i ate eyeballs, gammy and brains and fingers! and you know what? they were gooood and yummmy. blair and i fought a mummy and we won and i wasn't askared at all and we went on a rollycoaster and swings that went high and fast and i drove a little red car..."  
  
Jake's voice went on and Blair sucked in his breath as he tried to accept that soon this would be over.  
  
In the doorway of the dining room, Jim watched his partner. He couldn't help but see the bittersweet joy on Blair's face as he observed Jake.  
  
"...yes gammy, i will. i miss you too and luv you thiiiis," he held out both hands, causing the phone to fall away from Jake's mouth. Blair moved quickly and gently urged the hand with the receiver back to Jake's ear, "much, gammy," Jake finished happily.  
  
Listening to his gammy's voice, Jake nodded and nodded again, then, "bye, gammy." He hung up and turned to Blair, his face shining.  
  
"i told her everything, blair and i'm going to give her my trophy, okay?"  
  
"That's a wonderful idea, Jake. And unless I'm mistaken, Jim has scrambled eggs and cinnamon toast in the kitchen. You ready for breakfast?"  
  
Jake shot off toward the kitchen, telling the world that cinnymun toast was the bestest.  
  
*****  
  
By a quarter to eight, Jim was on his way to the station and Blair was handing the squirming ball of energy called Jake into the innocent arms of Maggie.  
  
As Jake ran into the house, his fingers gripping the small box with his new toys, Blair handed over the bag with a few pieces of candy for Maggie to dole out through the day.  
  
"He's still, kinda 'up', Maggie. You may have a bit of a time getting him down for a nap."  
  
"Care to make a wager as to the time he starts to fizzle out?" Maggie laughingly asked.  
  
"That's a hard one, but my best guess? February, 2003."  
  
*****  
  
For Blair, the day didn't move nearly fast enough. Even though he'd be keeping Jake a few more days, that didn't alter the fact that Diane would be arriving tomorrow. And for all anyone knew, Jake would embrace her with open arms, and the need for the youngster to remain with Blair would be non-existent.  
  
Jim, acutely aware of his partner's feelings and emotions, did his best to make the day as painless as possible. He even did two of Blair's reports so that Blair could spend time on the phone with the still-hyper Jake.  
  
In spite of criminals and paperwork, five o'clock finally rolled around and Blair was on his way to pick Jake up.  
  
*****  
  
Maggie came out onto the porch the minute she heard the Volvo. As Blair walked up to her, she smiled. "He's a goner, Blair. His energy went kaput around three." She opened the door and stepped inside, Blair right behind her.  
  
Jake sat glassy-eyed on the couch watching television. He was hugging one of Maggie's chenille pillows to his chest.  
  
"Jake? Wanna go home?"  
  
Jake glanced up and grinned almost drunkenly. "yes, please. i be poopted."  
  
Oh, yeah, Maggie was absolutely right, this kid was a goner.  
  
Blair didn't bother urging Jake to stand, he just scooped him up and, with a good-bye to Maggie, they headed home.  
  
*****  
  
Based on Jake's condition, Blair decided that they should have something simple for dinner, then give Jake his bath, followed by a bit of television before bed.  
  
He and Jim fixed a fruit salad and chicken with wild rice soup. As Jim sliced up some squaw bread, Jake trooped in, feet dragging. Blair helped him onto his telephone book and, a few minutes later, they joined him at the dinner table.  
  
As they ate, Jake shared his day and asked questions about bad guys as he spooned soup into his mouth. His movements were slow; his attention span minimal.  
  
When they finished dinner, Jim cleaned up while Blair got Jake ready for his bath.  
  
"Which toys tonight?"  
  
Jake pointed.  
  
"Right." He tossed the two rubber whales into the warm, sudsy water, then turned and helped Jake out of his clothes. After putting the jeans and tee shirt into the hamper, he lifted Jake into the tub, then sat down on the edge.  
  
Normally a Jake bath was an adventure unto itself, with more water ending up on the floor and Blair then in the tub. But tonight, Jake, feeling warm, safe and 'poopted', played quietly for a few minutes, his whales swimming over to Blair, who picked them up and let them dive back in, so that Jake had a good excuse to go underwater.  
  
After ten minutes, Blair picked up the washcloth and began to make a quiet game of washing him. When Jake pronounced himself clean, Blair took a few more minutes and shampooed the short, silky curls.  
  
"Okay, back and shut tight."  
  
Jake tilted his head back and, using the saucepan that had recently taken up residence in the bathroom for just this purpose, Blair rinsed off the shampoo. He put in a little leave-in conditioner, unplugged the drain and, grabbing a big, fluffy towel, told Jake to stand up. He wrapped him up, then lifted him out.  
  
Once on the floor, water dripping into his eyes, Jake waited patiently. Blair picked up another towel and dropped it over Jake's head.  
  
"hey, all dark."  
  
"Why Jake, what do you mean?"  
  
"all dark, silly--towel."  
  
Putting his hands on either side of Jake's towel draped head, he began to massage vigorously.  
  
Giggles floated up and Blair said, "I hear something strange. Of course, I appear to have lost Jake, but what is that weird sound?"  
  
"i'm not gone, it's me, it's me!"  
  
"There's that sound again. But where oh, where is Jake?"  
  
Giggling louder, Jake cried out again, "but i'm here, blair, i'm right here!"  
  
Blair whipped off the smaller towel and exclaimed in wonder, "My gosh, Jake! Where did you come from? I've been looking _everywhere_ for you!"  
  
Shaking his head in mock disgust, Jake said, "if i were a snakey..."  
  
Blair dropped down to his knees and scrunched up his face. "If you'd been a snake, Jake, you'd have been Jake the snake."  
  
That sent Jake off into another fit of giggles, which allowed Blair to quickly get him into clean PJs, the red robe and his slipper socks.  
  
"Okay, you're clean, dry and in your pajamas. Let's go out into the living room, build a nice fire and you can watch a little television before you go to bed, okay?"  
  
"kay." Surprisingly, Jake held up his arms. Blair lifted him up, realizing that a pooped Jake was a cuddly Jake.  
  
He carried him out and both were surprised to see the fire blazing and a smiling Jim seated on the couch. In front of him, on the coffee table, a mug of hot chocolate for Jake.  
  
Blair sat Jake down next to Jim and asked, "What shall it be, Jake? Disney Channel or Nickelodeon?"  
  
"hot choco-lot and story. magikal cat story."  
  
Jim was reaching over for Jake's mug and missed the expression on Blair's face, but not the something in his voice as he answered.  
  
"Oh, Jake, you can't want to hear that again. How about a different kind of story?"  
  
Shaking still damp curls, he said stubbornly, "no, no, must hear 'bout magikal cat. wanna hear 'bout how fierce," he made a jungle cat face, baring his teeth, "magikal cat met the wolf, blair. wanna hear now." His chin was stuck out in what Karen had always lovingly referred to as his 'terrible twos' chin and, while it made very rare appearances now, it still meant trouble.  
  
Blair wondered how bad it could be, to occasionally give in to that chin? He sat down and before he could take a breath, Jake had climbed possessively into his lap, picked up Blair's arm and dropped it around his own neck.  
  
"jim needs to hear too. you may start now."  
  
The loud barking guffaw turned out to be Jim. Giving Ellison his best dagger look, Blair took the mug from Jim's hand, sipped from it, then held it to Jake's lips, who sipped loudly, lapping up a bit of whipped cream, then repeated, "you may start now."  
  
Blair shot Jim a nervous sideways glance, then started the story.  
  
"Okay, when we last left our brave protector, he was patrolling his jungle, right?"  
  
"right and a-llll alone."  
  
"Right, alllll alone. The magical black cat had a heavy heart--"  
  
"because no one would love him."  
  
"Because no one," Blair's breathing hitched slightly, "would love him."  
  
"because they were askared of him."  
  
"Yes, because they were askared of him, and who's telling this story anyway?" He bent his head to meet Jake's eyes.  
  
Jake giggled and pointed at him. "you are."  
  
"Good. For a moment, I was confused. So where was I? Wait, I remember. So the cat roamed his jungle, protecting his tribe. But unbeknownst to him, on the other side of his jungle, near the border, a lone wolf roamed the forest. A wolf that needed a--"  
  
"a home, a real home."  
  
"Right, a real home. And the wolf sorely needed someone to love him too. So on one side of the enchanted jungle, our magical cat patrolled and on the other, our lonely, homeless wolf searched."  
  
"how," Jake gave a huge yawn, "how did they finally meet?"  
  
"I bet I know," Jim said quietly. Jake lifted his head from Blair's arm and sleepily asked, "how, jimmy, how?"  
  
"Well," he glanced at Blair and seeing the unease and the surprising uncertainty, he said, "I think the magical cat got very confused and he wandered off his normal path. He was also ill, but he didn't know it. See?"  
  
At Jake's excited nod, Jim continued.  
  
"So in his wanderings, he stumbled on the wolf. Only, in reality, the wolf, in his wisdom, sensed the approach of the sick cat and made it possible for the confused animal to find him. Once he did find the wolf, he was happy. The wolf understood him and wasn't afraid, even when the cat growled and pounced. They patrolled the jungle together and the wolf even shared the cat's cave. Oddly enough, even though they were now partners, the cat was very suspicious. He couldn't believe any animal could be as good as the steadfast wolf."  
  
"silly magikal cat, silly cat."  
  
"Yep, silly, silly cat. But you see, he forgot one thing."  
  
"what, jimmy, what?"  
  
Smiling indulgently at the use of 'Jimmy', he tugged a short curl.  
  
"Our cat forgot that wolves mate for life. That once a wolf finds its soul mate, it will never leave, no matter what the provocation. The magical cat could be slow and stubborn, could fear the wolf, but nothing would make the wolf go away. Oh, the wolf finally realized he would have to find a different place to live, but that proved to be a good thing."  
  
"no, no, you must be wrong. the wolf moving away isn't good. it's bad."  
  
"No, Jake, because the cat realized how much he loved the wolf."  
  
Jake clapped his hands excitedly as he sang, "oh goody, oh goody! and they lived happily ever after, didn't they?"  
  
"Yep, I do believe they did and together, they kept their jungle safe."  
  
"the end!" Jake upturned his face, yawned again and said, "bed now."  
  
Blair swallowed the lump in his throat and saluted. "Aye, aye, sir. Bed it is."  
  
*****  
  
"wolfpup, wolfpup," Jake cried out. As Blair pulled the blanket up around Jake's body, he searched for the stuffed animal. Jim checked on the other side of the bed and catching a glimpse of grey and brown fluff, he reached behind the bed frame and pulled out the missing wolfpup.  
  
Eager fingers reached and Jim handed over the wolf.  
  
"theirs."  
  
"What Jake?" Blair asked.  
  
"theirs. their pup." He kissed the top of the black plastic nose and tucked the animal under his chin. "night."  
  
"Good-night Jake. Sweet dreams."  
  
*****  
  
They walked out into the hall, neither man able to say anything. They continued back into the living room and working in tandem, locked up, put out the fire, took the mug into the kitchen, turned out the lights and then walked into the bedroom.  
  
As they started to undress, Jim asked gently, "How long have you been telling Jake that story?"  
  
Blair turned away and dropped his shirt on the back of the chair by the window. "Awhile."  
  
"Uh, huh. The famous 'awhile'. Why didn't you want to tell it tonight?"  
  
"Duh."  
  
"Now there's my walking encyclopedia and dictionary. So verbose, so witty, so--"  
  
"Bite me."  
  
Jim jumped onto the bed and perched on his knees, then reached across, snagged the tee shirt Blair had just slipped on and pulled Blair into his arms. They fell back onto the bed and Jim rolled them until Blair was on top.  
  
"You make me the finest offers." Jim pulled Blair's head down and latched onto the sensuous bottom lip and bit lightly. Then he let go and whispered in a voice husky with passion and love, "Wolves do mate for life. and so does this cat."  
  
Blair licked a trail up Jim's cheek. "And this cat mates with whom?"  
  
Spreading his legs and allowing Blair to sink between them, he tugged on the nearest earlobe as he said, "Duh."  
  
His only answer was a moan.  
  
*****  
  
Thursday dawned bright and cold. The November chill had arrived. Blair stirred, rolled over, then burrowed deeper under the covers. Sunlight no longer meant that it was late, thanks to the end of Daylight Savings Time the previous weekend. He was fully prepared to slip back into sleep, his body pressed against Jim's warm back. He hadn't counted on Jake.  
  
Fully recovered, Jake bounded from bed and eschewing the red robe for the promised warmth of Blair and his big bed, he padded silently across the hall. The door was partially open and that was good enough for him. Jake pushed his way inside and jumped up on the bed. He could just see Blair's hair from under the blankets and Jim's arm on the pillow.  
  
He perched a moment, considering his options, then simply crawled over to Blair, tugged at the blanket, slipped under and wiggled his way between the two men. He heard a grunt and smiling, he turned over and snuggled into Blair.  
  
Warm breath, comforting thumping...Jake drifted back to sleep.  
  
A few minutes later, a sharp kick in the kidneys woke Jim. He groaned, rolled over and received a kick against his left thigh. Prying open one eye, he stared at Blair's sleeping face. Then his senses registered another heartbeat. He put out a hand and thumped against a flannel covered back.  
  
Jake.  
  
"Blair," he hissed out. "Blair, wake up."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We have company."  
  
"If it's Simon, he's dead."  
  
"Guess again, Darwin." Jim rested his hand against the small, warm back.  
  
"Give up. Going back to sleep."  
  
"Open your eyes, Chief. For me."  
  
Blair cracked open one eye. A fuzzy Jim smiled back at him. "What? Who?"  
  
Jim's eyes moved down and Blair's one eye followed.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah, oh. And did you know he kicks in his sleep?"  
  
"Oh yeah. Been there, have the bruises to show for it."  
  
Blair dropped an arm down over Jake, then reached for Jim, who moved in close.  
  
"Feels good."  
  
"Just right."  
  
"What time is it, oh great sentinel?"  
  
Jim chuckled and answered, "Time to get up, of course."  
  
*****  
  
Blair squirmed on the bench and adjusted his collar. God, he hated court. He scratched his thigh and Jim dropped a large hand over his restless one. He calmed only slightly. He checked his watch for the umpteenth time as he mentally counted out how many more hours before he'd be picking Karen and Diane up at the airport.  
  
Their flight was scheduled to arrive at eight and, as the boring but surprisingly fast moving day came to a close, Blair found his heart skipping beats and his breathing quickening. For most of the day, once he'd dropped Jake off with Maggie, he'd found himself wondering about Diane. About the last few years, about Jake and his mother. He'd fooled around with ways he could conceivably remain in Jake's life, and discarded each and every one of them. Diane needed her life with Jake, needed a chance and he, the neighbor who just happened to be a gay cop, could no longer be much help.  
  
His sigh sounded loud even to himself. He glanced around quickly, certain that the entire courtroom had heard. Nope, he was safe. Except from a certain sentinel, who immediately squeezed his hand.  
  
*****  
  
The halls of the Justice building were crowded as courts released their inmates for the day. Lawyers, witnesses, observers, reporters and civilians filled the narrow space, all jockeying for position to gain immediate access to the elevators.  
  
Blair was pushed, prodded and basically shoved along against his will. Jim snagged his coat and held on and the crowd passed him. Blair felt his body being drawn aside and a moment later he was resting against the wall, Jim slightly in front of him.  
  
"I say we wait out the herd of thundering humanity, Chief. What say you?"  
  
"You've got my vote. Dying at the feet of defense lawyers would do nothing for my reputation."  
  
Jim snorted and as he moved back a bit more, Blair put his hand on Jim's back to keep from being pressed uncomfortably into the wall. Jim shifted slightly and Blair let his hand trail down Jim's back until it rested on Jim's butt. He pinched the right ass cheek and smothered a laugh when Jim jumped about two feet into the air.  
  
"Shit, Sandburg! You want me to throw you to the wolves?"  
  
"Sure, family takes care of its own." He pinched again, then rubbed sensuously.  
  
"Ah, god." Jim's body melted against Blair's, who cupped the enticing ass.  
  
"Man, you feel so good, Ellison."  
  
"So do you, Sandburg, so do you."  
  
The crowds had thinned and, laughing, Blair stepped around Jim's body and jerking his thumb, said, "Elevators this way, Dimple Butt."  
  
"Dumb fuck."  
  
"No, that would be your past lovers."  
  
He ran to the elevators.  
  
*****  
  
Once down at the underground garage, they made a few quick decisions. A change of routine.  "Look, you're exhausted and worried, Blair. Let me pick up Jake and while I take him shopping, you go home and rest."  
  
Surprised at Jim's intuitiveness and complete understanding of what Blair was feeling, he reached up and ran his finger down Jim's cheek. "Thank you. I didn't realize it showed."  
  
"It doesn't--to anyone else. So do we have a deal?"  
  
"We do."  
  
"Great. I'll drop you at the Volvo and you can expect us around," he checked his watch, "say... six-thirty? It's four now, so by the time you get home, you'll have two hours to catch a few z's."  
  
"I'm down with that."  
  
*****  
  
The phone woke him. He rubbed his eyes and as he got up from the couch and headed to the phone, he checked the clock. Damn, he'd only been asleep three-quarters of an hour. He picked up the receiver.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
 _"Is this Blair Sandburg?"_  
  
"Yes, who's this?"  
  
There was lengthy pause and he was just about to ask again, when a hesitant voice came back on the line. " _This is Helen Webber, Karen's friend."_  
  
"Oh, yes. Did they get off all right?"  
  
Another pause and this time, he was sure he heard a sound. like a... checked sob?  
  
"Mrs. Webber? Is everything--" he stopped. Because he knew. Everything wasn't all right.  
  
 _"They're... she's... there's been an accident, Mr. Sandburg. She's--Karen is gone."_  
  
A darkness settled over him as words continued through the phone. Words about a truck. About lost brakes. About Karen and Diane, on their way back from Amherst and words that told him they both died instantly.  The woman's voice faded and he thought it was him--that he was losing it--but then a man's voice came on.  More words, a flight, arrangements made.  By then he'd stopped listening...  
  
*****  
  
He heard the giggling first, then the gate as it was allowed to clang shut. He heard happy, dancing footsteps and Jake chatting. He slowly rose and faced the door. The screen was pulled away and a body fell against the door. The knob turned and Jake fell in, a laughing Jim just behind him.  
  
Blair let 'Sandburg' take over.  "Hey, guys. Buy out the store?"  
  
After Jake entered the living room, his body never stopped. He spotted Blair and legs pumping, he literally jumped into Blair's arms. "moonpies! we bought moonpies! moonies, moonies, moonies!"  
  
Blair rubbed the small nub of a nose and asked innocently, "Did you happen to buy any Moonpies? I've had a hankering all day!"  
  
Jake bounced in Blair's arms, then threw his arms around Blair's neck and gave him a bear hug. "me too, me too and we bought mazillions of 'em!"  
  
For a moment, Blair closed his eyes and let the hug go on and on but when Jake started to wiggle, he opened them and smiled. He set Jake down and turned him toward the hall. Giving his butt a swat, he said, "Bedroom, Hoss. Why don't you create one of your special pictures for Jim while he and I put the groceries away and get dinner ready, okay?"  
  
"speshal piccie? for jim? yeah! the bestest i can do!" He waved at Jim and took off and, a moment later, he could be heard rummaging for his crayons and drawing paper.  
  
Blair stared at the hall for a minute, then faced Jim.  
  
And found concerned pale blue eyes staring back at him.  "What's wrong, Blair?"  
  
*****  
  
Blair stared at the phone and with a distracted wave at the device, said, "Call, a call, Jim." Then with eyes full of pain, he faced his partner, "she's... gone."  
  
She.  Jim's first thought was for Naomi--Naomi was gone. But then Blair's face seemed to shut down as he straightened, pushed his shoulders back and glanced at the hall. Blair tilted his head and listened... to Jake.  
  
And Jim understood. She. Karen. Not Naomi.  
  
Jim allowed a moment of relief to spread through him, then squashed it violently. Not Naomi; Karen.  "Chief, how?"  
  
The question brought Blair back to the here and now. "Car accident. I didn't... hear it all. I mean, I _heard_ it but it hasn't--a truck, failing brakes and I know she said they died instantly..."  
  
Jim moved to his partner's side and rested a hand on the trembling shoulder, grounding him, but what he desperately wanted to do was engulf Blair in a hug. A hug so powerful, it would protect Blair forever. He settled for a shaking hand on a trembling shoulder. "She? They?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Helen Webber--Karen's friend in Boston. And Diane, Jim. Diane and Karen-together in the car-- _gone_."  
  
At that, Jim did take Blair into his arms. For several minutes they stood in the middle of the living room, two bodies as one, each drawing strength from the other.  
  
Blair turned his head, facing the hall once again. "I have to tell him, Jim. He's expecting her home tonight, he knows I'm supposed to pick her up."  
  
"Time doesn't mean the same thing to him, Blair. He's not asked since I picked him up at Maggie's. He probably doesn't remember. There's time."  
  
"There's never time-- _never_. Haven't we learned that? We of all people?" He pushed himself away and somehow managed to pull himself together.  
  
For a moment, Blair's carefully constructed strength faltered as he gazed about him-lost--but then he shored it up and, giving the same distracted wave, said, "I don't know what we have to do, or call.  I know Helen said things, Jesus, Jim, I don't--just don't--could you ..."  
  
"Do you have a number?" Jim's voice was low, soothing and gentle.  
  
Blair nodded and indicated the table with the phone.  
  
"Okay, I'll call her back, you take care of Jake. I'll join you in a minute, okay?"  
  
Giving another nod, Blair started toward the hall--toward Jake's room.  
  
*****  
  
Jake was on his stomach on the floor, a pad of drawing paper in front of him. Spread out around him were all of his crayons, coloring pencils and coloring inks. As Blair stepped in, Jake was reaching for the pile of greens, picking up one, gazing at it, shaking his head, dropping it and choosing another.  
  
A raw emotion, so strong and powerful that his throat closed up, suddenly welled up inside Blair. It was so all-encompassing that he was almost blinded by the heat of tears that flooded his eyes. His love for Jake, so different than any love he'd ever known, now seemed to be killing him. Because he'd have to tell Jake--and destroy his world. Walking unsteadily to the bed, Blair sank down on the edge and tried to call forth every reserve of steel, of bit of strength that he possessed.  
  
But how do you tell a child---  
  
"blair! lookee, look at what i'm drawing for jim!" Jake proudly held up the unfinished drawing, his joy shining in the sparkling eyes and huge grin.  
  
Blair blinked harshly, trying to clear his vision. He focused on the drawing, on the spread of green and on the black shape with the blue eyes....  
  
"It's beautiful, Jake. He'll love it."  
  
"you know, don't you? you know what it is, you can tell, can't you?"  
  
"I know. It's our magical cat and he's beautiful."  
  
Nodding happily, excited that Blair recognized what he'd drawn, he turned back to his task and with tongue caught between small, white, even teeth, Jake started coloring in the sky.  
  
Blair followed the small hand, the crayon held tightly, watched it move across the white paper, took in the disappearance of the white as the blue took over and he couldn't seem to focus on anything else; just that moving hand and the spreading blue.  
  
Without lifting his head or pausing in his work, Jake asked, "when do you go get gammy?"  
  
"Jake, can you stop a moment and join me?" To Blair, his voice sounded perfectly normal, with no sign of the strained emotions, the tell-tale tremor or hitch.  
  
Jake dropped the blue coloring pen and turned over to sit up. "gotta finish, gotta finish for jim and you..."  
  
Blair gave an inviting smile and patted the bed.  
  
Grinning, Jake scrambled to his feet and climbed onto the bed with a small grunt. He scooted over to Blair's side and let his legs dangle over the edge of the bed like Blair's. He moved closer until his body was plastered against Blair's.  
  
Looking up into Blair's eyes, he asked, "want me to draw you one too? a beeu-ti-ful wolfie?"  
  
"I'd like that very much, Jake." He took in the animated, beautiful, and still very much the baby face, and his breath caught. Jake, sensing his distress on a level beyond his immediate awareness, suddenly climbed into Blair's lap.  
  
Blair stroked the small back and dropped a kiss on top of the soft curls. "We need to get you a haircut, whatcha think?"  
  
"'kay. but i want my hair like yours. cherry does too."  
  
Blair put a finger under Jake's chin and tilited his head up. "Oh she does, does she?"  
  
"yup. and evrybudy knows wizards have long hair."  
  
"I see."  
  
"gammy won't mind. i'm gonna show her all my piccies and i saved candy for her too."  
  
God, his chest hurt.  
  
"Jake, I have to tell you something."  
  
The trusting face was turned up to him and his expression softened as the words came.  
  
"There's been an accident, Jake.  Gammy is with Bluey now. She's in heaven."  
  
Blue eyes blinked twice, then grew round, impossibly round.  
  
"with bluey? in heaven?" Blair nodded and waited. One breath, two--  
  
"gammy isn't... coming home?" His small voice wavered, his expression still uncertain.  
  
"No, Jake. Gammy isn't coming home."  
  
"heaven. my gammy's in heaven."  
  
"Yes, Jake, she's in heaven now. She wasn't--alone, Jake. She was coming home and bringing your mother with her. Now Gammy and Mommy and Bluey are in heaven together."  
  
"mom-mie. _my_ mommie?"  
  
"Yes, Jake." His arm tightened around the slender body as he felt Jake wiggle closer.  
  
"gammy. i won't see gammy." His voice was full of disbelief. Then he shook his head, back and forth, back and forth and before Blair could stop him, he'd jumped from Blair's lap and was running blindly from his room.  
  
Blair was stunned, but the sound of the retreating footsteps galvanized him.

* * *

  
  
"Yes, no, I understand. Thank you. Do we need to meet...oh, we don't. All right. No, I'm certain that would be best and you have all the numbers? All right. And thank you again, Mrs. Webber. Yes, I will. Friday at seven, got it. Yes--"  
  
Jake tore into the living room and before Jim could react, the boy had zipped past and was at the front door. And on his heels, a pale, frightened Blair.  
  
Jake managed to pull the door open before Blair could get to him and as his feet hit the cement, he cried out, "gammy!"  
  
The tears that been forced back, now flowed as Blair heard the anguished cry. He knew exactly where Jake was going.  
  
As Blair ran outside, Jake was already at the door, small hand pounding as he cried out, "gammy! gammy!"  
  
Blair came up behind him and scooped him up. But Jake fought him, his head turning back to the door as he cried out again, "gammy, open, please gammy!"  
  
Blair reached into his pocket, pulled out the keys and quickly got the door open. He could hear Jim behind him as he stepped in and relinquished his hold on Jake.  
  
The boy immediately ran to his gammy's bedroom door. He burst inside and thudded to a stop--because there was no one there.  
  
The blinds were partially open, allowing small lines of sun to paint the floor in the middle of the room. Sparkling particles floated down and landed on the neatly made bed. Against the wall, the long cherry wood dresser with Karen's jewelry box, perfume bottles and framed family pictures. Under the window, a comfortable old rocker sat--gently swaying.  
  
Wide blue eyes, shining with unshed tears, took in the empty room.  
  
"gammy..."  
  
Blair stopped at the doorway and waited, his own tears trickling down his cheek.  
  
The small boy stood on tiptoe, took a careful step forward and whispered, "gammy?"  
  
The word hung in the air, no answer possible.  
  
Jake spun around and seeing Blair in the doorway--launched himself like a missile. He wrapped both arms around Blair's legs and held tight, his sobs buried in denim and muscle.  
  
Blair brought him up into his arms and with Jake's head buried against his neck, walked to the rocking chair and sat down. Cradling the child, rocking gently, Blair soothed and crooned a litany of nonsensical words.  
  
Jim entered and stopped as Blair lifted his face to him, his stricken expression saying everything.  
  
"it's all right, jake, it's all right. just cry."  
  
The sobs eventually quieted but the tiny, pale fingers never let loose their hold on Blair's shirt. "can't see my gammy, won't see her like i can't see bluey. want to see my gammy again."  
  
"You can see her, Jake. You'll always be able to see her."  
  
The blond curls brushed against skin as Jake shook his head vehemently. "no, no can't see her," he said stubbornly.  
  
"Jake, look at me." Nothing happened so he tried again. "Jake, Hoss, come on, look at me."  
  
The head lifted and red-rimmed eyes blinked up at him.  
  
"Okay, I want you to close your eyes for a moment, okay?" Jake started to say no, but Blair interrupted with, "Jake, this is me. You trust me, don't you?"  
  
Jake nodded and without making a sound, mouthed, "luv u."  
  
Blair glanced away for a second and his eyes met Jim's. Silently he pleaded and Jim nodded, came the rest of the way in and sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
Returning his attention to Jake, who was now watching silently, he repeated, "Okay, close your eyes, Hoss."  
  
The pale, almost translucent lids lowered, then fluttered open again. Blair smiled and nodded encouragingly. Jake closed them all the way.  
  
"Okay, pretend you're in the kitchen. Are you there?" Jake nodded. "And gammy is there with you and she's making your favorite chocolate chip cookies." He waited two heartbeats, then, "What are you doing, Jake?"  
  
A small smile quivered. "i'm sneaking some chocolate."  
  
"What's gammy doing?"  
  
The grin broadened. "she's scooping some cookie dough and handing it to me."  
  
"What is she wearing, Jake?"  
  
"her orange apron and jeans and her fuzzies. we're singing."  
  
"Singing? Can you share the song with us, Jake."  
  
Slowly, Jake's voice, low but clear, sang, "row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream..."  
  
Blair joined in as Jake sang gently down the stream and moments later, Jim added his rich baritone.  
  
*****  
  
"...life is but a dream."  
  
"...life is but a dream."  
  
"...life is but a dream."  
  
For a moment, their voices seemed to echo around them, then Jake lifted his head and in a voice filled with wonder, said, "i saw her, saw my gammy and she sang with us, blair. i heard my gammy."  
  
"She'll always be with you, Jake," Jim added softly.  
  
Jake looked at Jim, then back to Blair for confirmation. Blair tweaked a curl and smiled.  
  
"Yep, Hoss. Jim is right. She'll always be with you. All you ever have to do is what we just did. Close your eyes and remember. Because she's," he placed his hand over Jake's heart, "here, Jake. Always. As long as we remember her. And she's," he ran a finger down Jake's nose, "here too. In your eyes, in the color of your hair and your cute little nose." He tapped it twice and Jake giggled, his tear-stained face smiling at Blair.  
  
Jim moved to the two people who meant more to him than life. Kneeling down, he ran his fingers through Jake's curls as he rested one strong hand over Blair's.  
  
*****  
  
Jim closed Karen's door behind them, making sure it was locked. Tomorrow, Helen Webber and her husband would be staying in this apartment. But for now--it would remain empty.  
  
He followed Blair back to the apartment, listening to the soothing whispered words as Blair carried Jake inside. They went immediately to Jake's room, but as Blair walked toward the bed, Jake's body began to shake. Without another thought, Blair did a one-eighty and headed to his room.  
  
"Jim, would you grab his stuff and wolfpup?" Jim nodded and a few seconds later, joined Blair and Jake.  
  
"You hungry, Hoss?"  
  
A silent shake, then, "had a hot doggy."  
  
Blair pulled the blue shirt over Jake's head and said, "A hot dog? I take it you and Jim ate your way through the store?"  
  
Tired blue eyes smiled shyly at Jim, who grinned back. "Yep, Jake and I ate our way down each and every aisle. It's safe to say that we're, how would you say it, Jake?"  
  
"stuffted."  
  
"Exactly--stuffted."  
  
Jim took off the tennis shoes and socks and as Blair put Jake into his pajamas, he turned back the bed. Blair lifted the exhausted child and carried him to the head of the bed. Laying him down, Blair let Jim tuck him in. Once the covers were in place, Blair picked up wolfpup and danced him over Jake's face. Fingers reached and wiggled, caught wolfpup's tail and pulled him down to cuddle to his face.  
  
Blair squatted by the side of the bed and as his hand swept back damp curls, asked, "Have you given wolfpup a name yet?"  
  
"acourse."  
  
"May we know or is it a big secret?"  
  
"his name is jakey."  
  
*****  
  
They sat in the semi-dark living room, the blazing fire offering the only source of illumination. Holding hands, they spoke softly.  
  
"She's taking care of the funeral details, Chief. Apparently Karen had it planned and there's a plot--"  
  
"I know. Hidden Hills. Her husband is buried there and they have," he waved his hand absently, "you know."  
  
"Right. Anyway, Mrs. Webber and her husband have arranged the transfer of the bod...  of Karen and Diane and will accompany them on the flight. Hidden Hills will have a--"  
  
Blair interrupted with a voice that carried his exhaustion like the wind carrying a leaf. "I get it, Jim. Services on Saturday. Chapel at the cemetery, followed by a brief graveside service, just as Karen wanted. And Helen is calling everyone who needs to be called." He looked at his partner and his hand tightened around Jim's. "And you told Maxine so that she could tell everyone here."  
  
"I think you've just covered everything."  
  
"Not quite. I may have forgotten one thing--to say thank you." He paused, taking a moment to glance down at their tangled fingers and his thumb, rubbing lightly over Jim's skin. "Thank you, Jim."  
  
"You're welcome. Simon doesn't expect you-- _us_ \--back until sometime next week."  
  
Blair's head shot up. "What?!"  
  
"Come on, Chief. He isn't stupid. As far as he's concerned... well, this is about family. He's putting it down as bereavement leave--for _both_ of us."  
  
Blair expelled a lungful of air. In the back of his mind, he'd been worrying about how to handle tomorrow and next week and the idea of leaving Jake....  
  
"I owe Simon big time for this."  
  
"No you don't, Chief. He understands. And he and the others, well, they plan to be there on Saturday, standing behind us."  
  
*****  
  
The only thing Jim could hear were two heartbeats and the odd, rhythmic breathing that signaled Blair and Jake. He grinned in the dark.  
  
"You're smiling."  
  
"Since when did you become the sentinel?"  
  
"Not a sentinel, but you do have huge, bright, white teeth."  
  
Chuckling, Jim turned in Blair's arms. And bumped up against a much smaller body. He did a little shifting and dropped his arm across both bodies.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Been better."  
  
"You're afraid."  
  
"Yep. not gonna ask how you can tell."  
  
"Good, you don't want to know. Gonna tell me about it?"  
  
There was silence and Blair's hand came to rest on Jim's back. He thought Blair wasn't going to answer until....  
  
"I'm going to lose him. We're going to lose him. and--and," his voice hitched, and Jim could hear the near panic, and something--more. Self-hatred. "God, Jim, I wanted... Karen to come back alone, knew I'd have to give--"  
  
"Ssh, ssh, not your fault, not your fault. And we won't lose him... won't lose him."  
  
Simple words. Blair listened and believed. Because he had to. To do otherwise was to invite insanity.  
  
*****  
  
At his usual wake-up time, Jake turned over and found himself in Blair's arms. He didn't remember leaving his room but he wasn't going to fight it. This was way better. He snuggled in and rubbed his burning eyes. Dug his knuckles in, trying to remember....  
  
"gammy."  
  
Blair's eyes shot open and he immediately enveloped Jake within the safety of his arms.  
  
"don't wanna go."  
  
Resting his chin on top of Jake's head, Blair whispered, "Not going anywhere, Jake. All of us are staying home today."  
  
"promuse?"  
  
"Promise. Go back to sleep."  
  
"eyes hurt."  
  
Blair dropped a kiss on each eyelid. "mine too."  
  
*****  
  
Friday passed strangely and quietly. The Webbers arrived, settled into Karen's place, and immediately began arranging things. Helen told Jim that they'd be returning to Boston on Sunday and she didn't want Blair to have to do anything after their departure.  
  
The Webbers spent some of their time with Blair, Jim and Jake. Their love for Karen, along with their innate kindness and warmth, went far in easing Blair through the day.  
  
Helen spent some time on the phone, making sure all the proper people were notified; even going so far as to put a small group together to take care of Karen's belongings. There were no other Porters and Karen had no relatives on her side of the family. No one to claim anything. No one to claim Jake.  
  
Maggie was in and out all day--cooking and cleaning for them, taking her own comfort in sharing her love and memories of Karen with Jim and Blair. She brought Puddles with her and Jake and the pup played throughout the afternoon.  
  
At two, Makeba called and assured Blair that she and Terry would be at the services on Saturday. She double-checked that they didn't need anything and rang off.  By six, the Webbers had retired to Karen's and Maggie had gone home to feed her husband and Jim, Blair and Jake were alone.  
  
*****  
  
Simon stood on the curb gazing at the beautiful building in front of him. He'd been arguing with himself for most of the afternoon about the decision to visit tonight and, as he stared at the Anjasmayo, he wondered which 'him' had won. Even now, a part of him doubted the wisdom of being here tonight, of all nights  But Jim and Blair were his friends and, even if they didn't need him right now, well, he needed to make sure they were all right; that Jake was okay.  
  
As the large man walked into the courtyard, his stomach fluttering with unaccustomed nerves, the beauty and serenity of the Anjasmayo began to work its magic. He felt relaxed and slightly in awe of his surroundings. Stepping up to Blair's door, Simon took a deep breath, then pulled the screen away and knocked.  
  
Jim answered and his welcoming grin told Simon he'd made the right decision. "Simon, come on in, you're just in time for burritos." Jim stepped back, letting Simon enter.  
  
"I can't st--"  
  
A hand on his shoulder and a smile. "Yes, you can. We have plenty. Follow me, we're in the kitchen."  
  
As he was led through the dining room, Simon managed a quick look at the place and liked it. Jim pushed through the swinging door and they entered the kitchen and, if Simon hadn't already felt at home, the atmosphere in the room would have done it.  
  
Blair was standing at the stove, browning hamburger meat and, as they walked in, he glanced up and smiling, said, "Hey, Simon, welcome to our humble abode. You gonna join us for burritos?"  
  
Simon managed not to choke when Blair said 'our' humble abode.  
  
"So it would seem, Sandburg."  
  
"Well have a seat, take a load off.  Jim, you'll get him a beer?"  
  
Ellison quirked an eyebrow and Simon nodded. He was still standing, not sure about helping, when a small voice piped up from behind him. "sit by me, 'kay?"  
  
Simon turned to his right and found himself looking down into Jake's welcoming blue eyes. A small hand tugged at his large, dark one and he was being pulled to the kitchen table.  
  
Jake climbed up onto the bench and getting on his knees, picked up a crayon and started to draw as he talked. "you can draw with me, 'kay? then we'll chow down on," he glanced up, his face alight, "bur-reee-toes!"  
  
Jake tore off a piece of paper, slid it over to Simon, who was now perched on the end of the bench, then pushed a bunch of crayons to him. At the same moment, Jim set an ice cold beer down next to his hand and a bottle of apple juice next to Jake. Then he slid in beside the boy. Looking around him, catching the smirk that flitted across Blair's face, he remarked in all seriousness, "So, what are we drawing, Jake?"  
  
*****  
  
The crayons, paper and empty bottles were removed from the table and as Blair set down the paper plates and cups, Jim brought in one of Blair's two folding chairs that were in the dining room. He set it up opposite the bench, then joined Blair at the kitchen counter. A moment later, a large bowl of lightly seasoned meat, another bowl of shredded cheeses and a lazy Susan full of finely chopped lettuce, tomatoes, onions, olives, sour cream and salsa was set down.  
  
The last two items included a bowl of refried beans and the covered dish that held the hot, steaming flour tortillas. The last to be put on the table were three bottles of beer, three beer glasses and a tall glass of milk.  
  
Jake looked up at Simon and asked, "do you know how to eat bur-reeee-toes?"  
  
Scratching his head and frowning, Simon responded, "Well, I'm not sure, can you show me?"  
  
As Jim poured his and Blair's beers, Jake reached over, by almost standing on the phone book, and snagged a hot tortilla. He dropped it on Simon's plate; then with clumsy fingers, picked up the spoon in the meat and very carefully laid out a line of the hamburger on the outside third of the tortilla.  
  
"do you want cheese?"  
  
"Please, sir."  
  
Small fingers dug into the mixture of three cheeses and sprinkled it over the meat. Then, "beans?"  
  
"Definitely."  
  
A spoonful of beans were added. Jake waved at the lazy Susan. Simon regarded the offerings and pursing his lips, said, "I'll try some tomato and onions and a bit of sour cream, topped off by just a dab of salsa."  
  
Jake built the burrito to order, careful not to spill anything, his face a study in creativity, good hostmanship and concentration. When the salsa lay in a fine line over the sour cream, he said, "now you roll it, see? but make sure you tuck in the edges. you want me to show you?"  
  
"Would you, Jake? Thank you."  
  
Nodding helpfully, Jake plucked a tortilla for himself, repeated the meat ritual, followed by cheese--a huge handful of cheese, then he glanced apologetically at Simon. "i keep my bur-ree-to to a min-ee-mum." He positioned his plate and without looking up, said, "kay, watch closely...."  
  
He tucked in one end, then small fingers began to roll patiently as Jim, Blair and Simon watched breathlessly. When the burrito was completely rolled, he lifted it with both hands and proceeded to chomp down--right smack down through the middle. As meat and cheese spilled out, he grinned happily, still chewing.  
  
"Yes, okay, let me see how I do."  
  
Jake nodded encouragingly as he continued to chew. Simon, copying Jake's teachings, tucked in one end, then rolled. A moment later, he had one, huge, gargantuan burrito. He lifted it to his mouth and noticed that Jake had stopped chewing and was watching with wide eyes. Simon took a bite.  
  
Right smack down through the middle.  
  
Salsa and sour cream dribbled down the big man's chin as beans squirted out to land with a plop on the plate. Chewing just as happily as Jake, Simon mumbled through meat and cheese, "dimpd i do goompd?"  
  
Giggling and covering his face with his hands, Jake pronounced Simon to be the best.  
  
Both Jim and Blair asked together, "Wait, what about us? Don't we get to try?"  
  
Peeking between fingers, Jake nodded. "kay, but i don't think--"  
  
"Hmph, just you wait, you young whippersnapper," Blair admonished. "We be the best, right Ellison?"  
  
"Right." Then looking at Blair, he said, "Ready?"  
  
"Ready."  
  
Both men took a tortilla, piled it high with meat, beans, salsa, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, olives and onions. Then with a flourish, they spooned sour cream on the top. Through it all, Jake and Simon watched in disbelief, Jake's eyes growing wider as the burritos grew in size and height.  
  
With three expert rolls, the burritos were ready.  
  
Both men gave each other an authoritative nod and picked them up, which required both hands.  
  
"Ready, Chief?"  
  
"Ready, Jim."  
  
Mouths opening wide, to the accompaniment of a loud gasp from Jake, both men stuffed the burritos into their mouths--by biting right down the middle.  
  
Faces smeared with beans, salsa and sour cream, they managed to gasp out, "Well?"  
  
Falling back off of his phone book and giggling wildly, Jake pointed and cried out happily, "the winnahs!"  
  
Jim, Blair and Simon finished their burritos with forks.  
  
*****  
  
"Jake seemed fine. Is he doing as well as I think?"  
  
Jim handed Simon a cup of coffee, then set his own on the table and took his place on the couch. As Simon took a sip, Jim said, "He's been good today. Kind of quiet at times, but that's to be expected. I think... if Karen had been here all this time, he'd have taken it differently. But for a four-year-old, a week is forever.  So, to Jake, he's been here, with Blair, forever."  
  
"What happens now? I understand that there's no family?"  
  
Jim glanced quickly over at his partner, who stood at the fireplace, his back to them. At Simon's question, the slight, muscular body stiffened. Eyes still on Blair, Jim answered quietly but firmly, "We're going to try to keep him, Simon."  
  
We're. _We're_ going to try....  
  
The words struck Simon in the same way as Blair's earlier words of welcome.  
  
Dark eyes darting back and forth between the two men, Simon said with command, "You have my support, gentlemen and I'll do everything I can to help."  
  
Both men understood what Simon was saying. Understood just exactly what kind of support he was offering. Jim spoke for the silent Blair as well as for himself when he said, "Thank you, Simon."  
  
*****  
  
Jim rolled over and reached for Blair. And came up empty. Déjà vu. And, consequently, he knew exactly where to find his bedmate. Even if he hadn't had sentinel senses. He climbed out of bed, pulled on his robe, then padded down the hall. Sure enough, Blair sat on the floor of Jake's bedroom, his hand on Jake's arm. Jim simply sat down beside him.  
  
"At least he was okay to sleep in here tonight. That's a good sign," Jim whispered.  
  
When he received no response, he asked, "Does he understand tomorrow?"  
  
This time, Blair nodded and as Jim shifted closer, Blair let his body rest against Jim's. "He... he was upset that he couldn't--you know--say good-bye. Now he understands that tomorrow, he can. That we _all_ can."  
  
"Good, good."  
  
Moments passed, then, "Jim, maybe--maybe Karen wouldn't want ---"  
  
"Not true, Chief, and don't even go there. You told me what she said on the phone, remember? That as long as he was with you--"  
  
"But this is different. This is forever."  
  
"She wants it--would want it. Don't ask me how i know, but i do. Let's just play it by ear, okay?"  
  
"One day at a time."  
  
"One foot before the other."  
  
"Walk before we run."  
  
"Don't buy trouble."  
  
"Who needs the cow when the milk is free?"  
  
Jim slid an arm around Blair's waist, nuzzled his neck and smiled against the warm skin as he inhaled the pure masculine scent. Then he whispered, "I love the cow."  
  
" _Bull_ , you asshole."  
  
*****  
  
"no."  
  
Blair sat back on his heels and looked at the stubborn chin. Then he looked at the black shoe in his hand. Jake sat on the edge of the bed, wearing his new suit. One black-socked foot swung back and forth in anger. Slowly, Blair put the new black shoe down and picked up Jake's old tennis shoe. "You know, Jake," he said gently, "I think this time you're right. You should wear these. They're you and--"  
  
"gammy bought them for me, bought them a bazillion years ago. will wear them today."  
  
"I agree. Now hold your foot still while I help you, okay?"  
  
"kay," he said, voice suddenly soft.  
  
Blair slipped on the tennis shoe, slipped on the other one, then tied them. Rising, he took Jake's hand and said, "Ready?"  
  
"no." Jake looked around his room, eyes searching, his face suddenly crumbling. Blair went down on one knee, both hands on Jake's arms.  
  
"Hoss, what is it?"  
  
"need something, need to take, havta give..."  
  
Clarity struck.  
  
"Come on, follow me." He took the small, clammy hand again and, together, they went into the living room.  
  
Jim, dressed in his good, dark suit, stood by the fireplace, a glass of beer in his hand. "Hey, we ready? The car is out front and Helen and Paul are waiting in the courtyard."  
  
"Almost ready, almost." Blair continued to lead Jake into the dining room. He picked him up and sat him on one of the folding chairs, then rummaged in the stacks of bills and papers.  
  
"Ah, ha!" He triumphantly held something up. "We'll start with these, Jake." He handed the items to the boy, who took them and immediately started nodding.  
  
Blair went into the kitchen and came out a few moments later with two small brown lunch bags. Once again he squatted in front of Jake.  
  
By now, Jim, unable to resist seeing what they were doing, was standing by the table. Blair handed the bags to Jake, who opened them and peeked inside. Then he looked at Blair and said, "pur-fect."  
  
His small fingers dropped the items found by Blair earlier into each bag. He started to bunch up the top, but stopped and gazed up, face stricken. "no, not right, need more?"  
  
Jim, having spied the pieces of left-over Halloween candy in the bags, and having recognized the Polaroid pictures of Jake in his Halloween costume, correctly figured out what they were doing. Resting a hand on Jake's head, he suggested, "Some of the toys you won?"  
  
Jake's face brightened immediately and he hopped down and ran back into his room.  
  
Minutes later, he was back and stuffing some of the plastic toys into the bags. Then his eyes lit on the trophy, which sat on the same table as the phone. He walked slowly towards it, then with a shaking hand, picked it up and held it to his chest. "i'm ready now."  
  
Blair picked up his and Jake's jacket and together, all three men stepped out into the bright sun of the courtyard.  
  
*****  
  
Other than Jake's eyes nearly bugging out at his first sight of the limousine, the ride to Hidden Hills was uneventful. Jake sat on Blair's lap, hands clutching the two bags, eyes focused out the window as he watched scenery fly past.  Helen and Paul sat opposite and, with occasional side glances at Jake, talked quietly with Jim during the twenty-minute drive.  
  
When they pulled into Hidden Hills, the driver drove to the rear of the small white chapel, got out, hurried around and opened the doors for his passengers. As they exited, a man in morning coat with a white rose in the lapel stepped forward to greet them.  
  
"I'm Charles Drennen. If you'll follow me?"  
  
Jim realized immediately that they were being led to the family room; the room where the family waited until the services were due to begin.   He couldn't help but wonder how it had been decided that he and Blair were the 'family' to be taken to the small anteroom. A decision made by Helen? Maggie?  In spite of the face that he'd never even met Karen Porter, it felt... right.  
  
Blair sat down and Jake, who'd walked in without so much as a sound, climbed onto Blair's lap to sit quietly, pale but steady. Jim remained in the hall, staring at the two cream-colored coffins surrounded by flowers.  
  
He leaned forward enough to see into the church and was surprised to note that it was full. He wasn't surprised to find that the back two rows were taken up by a good chunk of their friends from Major Crime. He turned back and joined Blair.  
  
*****  
  
"splain again."  
  
Blair's head was bent low as he talked softly to Jake, who was trying to understand the concept of a funeral.  
  
"This is how we say good-bye, Jake. A minister will share some words, words that will help us understand, and then some of Gammy's friends will talk and share their favorite memories of Gammy."  
  
"but gammy isn't here?"  
  
"No, she's not here, she's in heaven."  
  
He nodded his agreement and added, "with bluey." Then in an afterthought, "can she hear us?"  
  
"I think so, Jake."  
  
Mr. Drennen stepped in to signal the beginning of the service, and Helen and Paul stood, kissed Jake on the top of his head and walked out. It had been decided that Jake and Blair would remain in the anteroom during the service itself. They would also remain in the car during the main portion of the gravesite ceremony, only joining at the end so that Jake could say his good-byes.  
  
Jim took his seat beside Blair, pulled some string from his pocket and began to play a quiet game of Cat in the Cradle with Jake.  
  
*****  
  
The only people left at the gravesite were their friends from Major Crime, the Webbers, Maggie and her husband, the Carstairs and Cherry with her parents. Blair walked Jake to the circle of flowers, but Jake's attention was riveted to the large picture standing next to one of the coffins. A photo of a young, smiling girl with long, curly blonde hair.  
  
His hand slipped from Blair's and he walked past everyone to stand before the picture. Blair came up behind him but did nothing. Slowly Jake reached out a hand and touched the face.  
  
"who...."  
  
Blair hitched his slacks up a bit and squatted next to Jake. He put his arm around him and said, "It's your mommy, Jake."  
  
Jake held out his hands to receive the bags that Blair had been holding for him. Jake set one down in front of the photo of his mother, then walked to the other picture and promptly sat down on the grass. He didn't move.  
  
For a moment, Blair stayed where he was, head bowed, but finally rose as Jim came up to him.  
  
"What should we do?"  
  
"Nothing for a moment. He needs to say good-bye in his own way."  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't have--"  
  
"Jim, he needs this. He just-- _needs_ this."  
  
As they stood in place, Cherry walked over and plopped down next to Jake. He opened the other bag and let her look inside. They whispered a moment, then Jake stood with her and placed the bag next to his gammy's picture.  
  
He looked around, spotted Jim and said nothing.  
  
Blair whispered, "The trophy, Jim."  
  
The two of them walked over to Jake who indicated his gammy and the trophy. Jim set it down on top of the flower-covered coffin.  
  
Cherry put her hand in Jim's and tugged him away as Blair took Jake's hand.  
  
*****  
  
Slowly, amidst hugs and kisses, everyone took their leave. As Jim, Blair and Jake made their way to the limo, where the Webbers waited silently, a well-dressed man that Blair had noticed at the church, stepped away from a tree and approached.  
  
"Mr. Sandburg? I'm sorry to interrupt at a time like this, but my name is Richard Doan and I'm--I was Karen Porter's lawyer." He held out a card as he continued. "Karen was my friend as well as my client. Would you be available to meet with me on Monday, at my office in the Emerson Building?"  
  
Blair stared at the card, then at the man. Helen, hearing their words, quickly took Jake and carried him to the car, but not before smiling at both Blair and Richard Doan.  
  
"I don't understand why I would be--"  
  
"Please, Mr. Sandburg? It's important and there is property to discuss and Jake's well-being."  
  
"I--what time?"  
  
"Would two be convenient?"  
  
Blair nodded, still stunned. Mr. Doan put his card into Blair's hand and, with a smile for Helen, he walked to a black Alpha Romero, climbed in and drove out of the cemetery.  
  
*****  
  
Everyone had gone home, but not before most of the mess of having people back to your place had been cleared away. Jim piled up the few remaining plates and carried them into the kitchen. Blair stood at the sink, rinsing out cups.  
  
He still wore his good slacks, dress shirt and suspenders but his hair was down now and his shoes were in the living room. Jim came up beside him and, as he set the dishes in the sink, he asked, "You okay?"  
  
Blair nodded and gave him a smile which Jim noticed did not reach the man's eyes.  
  
"You're worried about the lawyer?"  
  
"Jim, I hadn't even thought of the building or anything else. But of course, I mean, Karen owned this place. It has to be--I assume she would have left it in trust for Jake. There must be an executor and..." his voice trailed off as he realized what that could mean.  
  
"Blair, don't jump to conclusions. Let's just play--"  
  
"Let's not start that again, okay?" Blair's smile was real this time.  
  
"Right. Nip it in the bud."  
  
Blair rolled his eyes as Jim said, "Call a halt to the proceedings--"  
  
"Jim, love of my life, shut up."  
  
*****  
  
As planned, Helen and Paul left on Sunday, but not before Helen assured Blair that Karen would have indeed wanted Jake to stay with him. Jim drove the couple to the airport and saw them off, thanking Helen for her words of comfort and support. As he was heading home, the Cascade skies opened but he made it back to the Anjasmayo and into the warmth of Blair's apartment before the real deluge hit.  
  
As he stepped inside, wringing out his jacket and stepping out of wet shoes, Blair, now wearing comfortable sweats, came out of the dining room and quipped, "Uh, Jim? You're all wet, man."  
  
"News flash for you, Chief. It's raining outside."  
  
"What? Here? In Cascade? In the Pacific Northwest? Nah, never."  
  
Jim flipped him the bird as he quizzed, "Jake taking a nap?"  
  
"Yep, out like a light."  
  
Jim went to the fire and holding out his hands to warm himself, said, "Helen really believes that Jake belongs with you, Blair. There is absolutely no doubt in her mind."  
  
Blair remained where he was, staring thoughtfully at his partner. The funeral was over, life was slowly returning to some semblance of normal and, since Jim had left to take the Webbers to the airport, Blair had found himself reviewing the last week. Reviewing how much had happened--to _both_ of them.  
  
For one week, one solid week, Jim had spent every night with Blair. They'd been to the loft twice, both times for their lunch breaks. Jim had shaving items here, as well as several items of clothing, but, oddly enough, they'd not spoken of any move. In either direction.  
  
Now, talk of the acceptance of Blair keeping Jake. It would mean change. More change than either of them had discussed. It would mean commitment. Commitment to a life other than their own. As he gazed at Jim, the glow of the blaze highlighting the strength of the man, the simple and amazing elegance and quiet power, the beauty of his profile, and the strong, surprisingly slender hands held out for warmth, Blair hesitated.  
  
Two different types of love. Both all encompassing, all consuming. He couldn't live without either one. But what of Jim's choices? How deeply involved should he--dare he--ask Jim to be? "You look like you could use something strong to ward off the chill, as Naomi would say. How about an Irish coffee?"  
  
Surprised that Blair ignored his comment about Helen, Jim turned and watched as Blair strode into the kitchen without waiting for an answer. His mind mulling over Blair's non response, Jim went into the bedroom and changed into warm sweats, then back into the living room just as Blair came in with two Irish coffees.  
  
They sat down, sipped their coffees and enjoyed a few hours of companionable solitude.  
  
*****  
  
Jake rolled over and blinked. It was dark, but not. His tummy growled and reaching for wolfpup, he climbed out of bed and tiptoed into the living room.  
  
Blair was on the couch, a book in his lap, glasses perched on his nose. A fire warmed the room and made everything feel good, but Jake wasn't sure if he should....  
  
"Hey, Hoss, you're up. You hungry?"  
  
That was all he needed. Running at top speed, he jumped into Blair's arms, wolfpup and all.  
  
"So, guess you're up, eh?"  
  
"up an hungry. jakey too."  
  
"You had a nice nap, huh?"  
  
Jake nodded happily, his arm wound around Blair's neck. "but up now."  
  
"Yes, I can see that. Well, Jim is in the kitchen, and judging from the smells, we're in for some good, rainy day chili. Shall we?"  
  
"yup."  
  
Jake's arm remained wound around Blair's neck and he correctly ascertained that he was to carry Jake into the kitchen. He rose with an exaggerated grunt, saying, "Someone has put on weight. Is wolfpup eating some of the birds again?"  
  
Giggling, Jake tapped wolfpup on the nose and admonished, "bad pupper, bad pupper. no," tap-tap, "more," tap-tap, "birds!"  
  
They entered the kitchen to find Jim standing over a large, steaming pot, stirring vigorously.  
  
"Just in time, the best chili in the Pacific Northwest is now, officially, done!" Jim proclaimed. "If someone would set the table--meaning _you_ , Sandburg--I'll get the shredded cheese, onions and sour cream ready."  
  
Letting Jake slide down his arm, Blair went to the cupboard, took down the chili bowls, plopped some spoons into the top bowl, grabbed some napkins and quickly set the table. He finished up with three glasses, one carton of milk and two beers.  
  
"Table set, oh great chili master and where are the crackers? I could have sworn..."  
  
Looking guilty, Jake started studying the wall and trying his best to whistle. Blair gave him the evil eye and queried, "Jake--were you feeding the squirrels again?"  
  
Turning his head to face Blair, eyes wide with innocence, his face propped up on his hand, he asked, "me?"  
  
A large guffaw from the general direction of the stove alerted Jake to the fact that maybe he'd been unsuccessful in his attempt to misdirect. He lowered his head. "cherry never fed squirrels afore. i showet her how."  
  
"Fortunately, I suspected as much, great detective that I am, and thoughtfully prepared in advance," Jim opened the oven door and with a grand flourish, pulled out a cookie sheet with a warm, golden-colored loaf of french bread resting peacefully in the center, "this sumptuous yeasty concoction."  
  
Blair sniffed appreciatively and with a wink at Jake, said, "Ah, yes, the wonderful odor of freshly baked bread," he let a few heartbeats pass, then added, "from The Emporium Bakery on Sunset. My favorite."  
  
Jim snorted and as he set the bread on the cutting board and began to tear it into big chunks, he scoffed, " Emporium my foot. Only the best for my guys. This bread is from My Loaf or Yours on Esplanade. So there." He dropped the chunks into a bread basket and set it on the table--right in front of Jake who immediately took a large chunk.  
  
Jim waggled his eyebrows at Blair and said, "You ready to eat or are we gonna stand around and discuss bread?"  
  
Blair shared a disgusted look with Jake as they both rolled their eyes. Jim slid in next to Jake, as Blair took his place on the other side and soon the kitchen was filled with the delightful sounds of Jake slurping chili.  
  
*****  
  
"....so the great wizard lifted his powerful staff high into the air and he spoke the magical words, 'Suta, Moichly, Berata,' and the most wondrous golden light shot up from the top of the staff, then spread out, bathing David in its warm glow. As he watched, mesmerized, a small cascade of stars fell from the golden glow to land on his upturned face. As each star touched his skin, a tear faded. As each one melted, another sad thought fractured, leaving only joy and hope and happiness. David turned to face the wizard, his arms outstretched to receive this wonder and the ancient man of miracles and magic smiled at him and, somehow, that smile wrapped itself around the boy, became every hug, all the hugs of the world and all for him."  
  
Blair's voice went on, melodic and hypnotizing as he read from the book being held jointly by him and Jake. Jake was pajamas, robe and slippers, body lax in Blair's arms, but his attention fully fixed on the book, on Blair's voice and on the story.  
  
Seated in the chair by the fire, Jim sat watching and listening, as mesmerized as Jake.  
  
"David felt a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth and he couldn't stop it, couldn't stop his own smile. Melechum lowered the powerful staff and David was in the meadow, just the meadow, with trees surrounding him, blades of grass moving softly with the gentle breeze and birds chittering away in the branches. But the joy, the miracle remained. In David's heart.  
  
"Melechum placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and gazing down at him from eyes wise beyond the ages, said, 'You have saved both our worlds, David. With your courage and fear working together. You have lost much, but David, hear me. You have gained so much more in the winning of this battle. Go home now, your father awaits.'  
  
"'my father?' His voice held disbelief and hope.  
  
"'He is safe--and well. His love for you kept him strong but he needs you, David. Together, you will heal. Go with my gratitude and love.'  The Great Wizard Melechum turned David around and gave him a gentle nudge. David found his feet moving, slowly at first, but at the thought of home, of his--father, his footsteps picked up speed and soon he was running, his small arms pumping, the dirt skittering up behind him. He rounded the bend that led to his home and his voice, no longer to be kept at bay, rose, 'daddy! daddy!' And the beloved red door opened and his father stood there, arms open wide and David ran into them. He was home."  
  
Blair closed the book and said, "The end."  
  
With unabashed reverence, Jake's fingers smoothed over the front of the book. "david was ascared but that didn't stop him, did it, blair?"  
  
Combing his fingers through the short curls, Blair nodded. "Nope, it didn't stop him. He was afraid, but fear can be your best friend and that's what David learned."  
  
"he had a... a, pure heart, didn't he?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Jake craned his head up and back, resting it against Blair's chest as he asked, "do i? do i have a pure heart?"  
  
"Yes, Jake, you do. A brave and pure heart. And at the moment," Blair added with a grin and tap on each of Jake's eyelids, "a sleepy heart."  
  
Blair put the book down and stood, Jake in his arms. He walked over to where Jim sat and, with a wink, said, "Give Jim a kiss good-night, Jake." Then he half-upended Jake and lowered him to Jim, but just as Jim was about to kiss Jake, Blair pulled up. Jake giggled and started to wiggle and reach but each time his head came close to Jim, Blair would pull him up again. They kept this up until Jim finally said the magic words, "Suta! Moichly! Berata!" And Blair lowered Jake into waiting arms.  
  
Jim turned him around and, laughing, gave him a raspberry on the side of his face.  Jim then stood and both he and Blair headed into Jake's bedroom. With some requisite tickling and a brief game of hide and seek, they got Jake into bed and settled down. Wolfpup took his usual place in Jake's arms and with kisses, butterfly and eskimo, Blair turned out the light.  
  
*****  
  
Blair sat in his car, fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. It was almost two. He looked out his window and up at the building across the street--the Emerson Building. God, he wanted to run.  
  
Or call Simon, ask him if there weren't some wild terrorists that only he and Jim could handle? Or maybe a mad bomber out to destroy the world and deciding that Cascade was a good place to start? Or some idiot robbing supermarkets and stealing all the A's out of cans of alphabet soup? He reached for his cell phone, and punched in Jim's quick dial number.  
  
 _"Sandburg, just go up."_  
  
"Damn you. How did you know it was me?"  
  
 _"Get real."_  
  
Laughing, Blair asked, "Park keeping you busy? Scintillating conversation with the three-year-olds?"  
  
 _"Sandburg, get out of the car and go up."_  
  
"Ellison, you're not helping here."  
  
 _"Yes I am. Put your hand on the door knob, press down and open the door. Now."_  
  
"Where's Jake?"  
  
 _"On the swings with Cherry, where else?"_  
  
"You do know that Cherry plans on marrying our Jake, don't you?"  
  
Jim's laughter, making its way through the phone, settled in Blair's heart. _"Yeah, I know. She told me Halloween night. I was very grateful that I won't be the father of the bride. Weddings--blech."_  
  
Blair could almost see Jim giving a mock shiver. "Well, the parents of the groom have to do something, I just don't remember what. Maybe it's the rehearsal dinner."  
  
That deep, warm laugh again. Blair grinned in response.  
  
 _"Chief, are you still in the car?"_  
  
Shit. Caught. He quickly opened the car door and stepped out into the street. "Uh, no, no, I'm not."  
  
 _"God, you're pathetic."_  
  
"Yes, yes I am. And Jim? I'm going now, say good-bye."  
  
 _"Good-bye Sandburg and we'll bring home dinner and--I love you."_  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Blair reached back into the car and grabbed his suit coat from the back of the seat. As he jogged across the street, he slipped it on and entered the lobby, giving an absent tweak at his tie.  He took a deep breath, stepped into the elevator and, still holding his breath, rode up to Doan's floor.  
  
*****  
  
"Please, have a seat, Mr. Sandburg."  
  
Blair sat down in the comfortable chair opposite Doan's desk, using every silent mantra he knew to hide his nervousness.  
  
"Thank you, and it's Blair."  
  
"And I'm Richard." He picked up a file and opened it, then put on a pair of reading glasses.  
  
"Blair, Karen has been a good friend for several years. My firm has handled both the legal issues and the finances for the Porters since the twenties. As you know, with Karen and Diane's deaths, Jake has no remaining family."  
  
Blair nodded his understanding and waited, the flurry in his stomach growing to epic proportions.  
  
"Karen has-- _had_ \--been afraid of what might happen should anything--well, with Diane's history, Karen feared for Jake's well-being should anything unforeseen happen to Diane and herself. For the first eight months that Jake lived with her, that worry dogged her every step. But a few weeks ago, I watched as her worries faded." He took off his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, then slipped them back on.  
  
"In the last few weeks, Karen was almost a new person. She was no longer worried about Jake or his future, which consequently precipitated her next action which was to change her will. I won't bore you with all the details, since I've made you copy which I have here," he indicated a long, white envelope, "but, briefly stated, she has named you as her executor."  
  
Blair leaned forward, all the color draining from his face. "Excuse me?"  
  
"She has named you not only executor of her estate, which is, thanks to her husband's efforts in the stock market and her own judicious handling of their investments, quite large, but she also named you Jake's sole legal guardian."  
  
Legal guardian. The words floated above Blair, a hope, a possibility. "Legal guardian? I'm Jake's legal guardian?"  
  
"Yes, Blair, you are."  
  
Blair blinked a couple of times then, slowly, the knot he'd been carrying from the moment he'd entered the building... unwound.  Dazed, but with a sappy grin on his face, he said, "I'm his legal guardian."  
  
Doan smiled at the obvious joy the news brought the young man seated opposite. "As executor, you will receive an annual salary which doesn't change, no matter what happens with Jake. The Anjasmayo is to be held in trust for Jake until the age of twenty-one. Karen also set up a trust fund in his name, which will provide him a secure life for as long as he lives. In addition, Karen has left certain amounts to friends and charities and finally, one hundred and fifty thousand dollars to you, Blair."  
  
Blair hadn't really heard much after you're his legal guardian but at one hundred and fifty thousand dollars, his head shot up, blue eyes blinking in astonishment. "That's not possible. There must be some mistake."  
  
"No mistake, Blair. Karen loved you, trusted you and to her, you were a son. And in the last weeks, since changing her will, I've found nothing to make me doubt the wisdom of her actions. Nothing."  
  
Astonished, Blair asked, "You had me--"  
  
"Investigated? Yes. Karen is-- _was_ \--a friend and one that I cared for deeply. My firm investigated you thoroughly. And Detective Ellison as well. Although that investigation was more... recent."  
  
"Fuck." Blair's face was instantly suffused with color as he realized what he'd just said. "Shit, my apologi--", his face now went lobster red.  
  
Richard Doan laughed heartily as he dropped back against his chair. As Doan's laughter subsided, he wiped his eyes and, with a smile still on his face, sat forward again.  
  
"Please, no need to apologize, Blair. I realize that this is a shock for you, but understand this; Karen knew what she was doing." His expression went suddenly serious as he asked, "The only real question now is would you like my firm to handle the process of putting Jake up for adoption? I can promise you that we'll find a good home for him. And of course, as his guardian, you will have final approval."  
  
The floor caved in below Blair. Air whooshed out of his lungs; air that he desperately needed. And for the first time in years, he felt himself on the verge of a grade A panic attack. His fingers gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles were white.  
  
Adoption. His Jake up for adoption. NO FUCKING WAY.  
  
Somehow Blair got to his feet and unwound his fingers from their death grip on the chair. Straightening tense but determined shoulders, and in a voice that belied the panic, he said, "If Jake is going to be adopted by anyone, it will be by me, Mr. Doan." Without another word, he started for the door.  
  
"Blair--wait."  
  
The request was so quiet, so tenderly asked, Blair found himself stopping and turning, almost without realizing it.  
  
"Blair, are you sure?"  
  
Head cocked to one side, as if uncertain about what he'd just been asked, Blair queried, "Sure about," he gave his head a little shake, then finished, "what?"  
  
"About adopting Jake. Are you certain that you want to take such a step?"  
  
"Adopting Jake would be just that, Mr. Doan. A step. A formality. Nothing more. He is my son. And if the courts won't let me make that happen legally, then," he gave a meaningful shrug, "who gives a damn. I'm his guardian in name, but his father where it counts."  
  
Now that it was said, Blair realized just how true the words were--Jake was his son. Period. His hand reached back to open the door when Doan's voice stopped him again.  
  
"Karen prayed that you would feel that way, Blair. That's why she put all the legal stipulations in her will providing for you and Jake no matter how you reacted. She wanted it clearly understood that by adopting Jake or allowing him to be adopted, nothing changed regarding his fortune. That if you adopted Jake, it would be clear that no additional monetary gain could be the reason."  
  
Doan slid another white envelope out from under the papers and held it up. "This is from Karen to you, in the event that you refused to put Jake out for adoption. She wanted you to have it. For yourself and for Jake."  
  
Blair stepped forward, his face a mixture of disbelief and hope. He took the envelope as if it were made of glass.  
  
"Please, Blair, sit down? We have a great many papers to sign this afternoon."  
  
Blair was still staring at the envelope, at Karen's flowing handwriting on the white surface.  
  
Finally, he glanced up to meet Doan's sympathetic gaze.  
  
"Did she name an alternate executor?"  
  
"Yes, Blair, she did. I was named the alternate, should you decline."  
  
Blair moved back to the chair and took his seat, then leaned forward, suddenly the businessman. "You're not the only one who conducted a background investigation. My partner and I called in some markers to find out about you."  
  
Richard Doan sat back, smiling and supremely satisfied. "I'd have expected no less, Blair."  
  
"I'm only interested in ensuring that I don't lose Jake and that any trust in his name is protected. I'm not interested in being the executor. I'm a cop. And Jake's father."  
  
"So you wish to refuse?"  
  
Blair tapped the white envelope on the edge of his hand as he regarded Doan. Finally, with a sense of finality, he said, "Yes."  
  
"All that means is that we add another paper for signature. And I assume you'd like me to move immediately into the adoption proceedings?"  
  
"Richard, what, in your best opinion, are my chances of successfully adopting Jake? I'm single, male, a cop and--"  
  
"And involved with another cop--a male cop, yes?"  
  
Blair nodded, his body tensing.  
  
"Blair, Karen's wish was that you adopt her grandson, in the event of her death. I have her last wishes, in writing. Very few judges would ignore that. It won't be easy and Karen knew that, which is why she made you his guardian. You can't lose him, Blair." Doan put on his glasses and picked up his pen. "So, shall we get this ball rolling?"  
  
Numb inside and out, Blair could only nod.  
  
*****  
  
At four-thirty, Blair parked next to the curb. The sun was moving down, the shadows stretching across the peaceful grounds.  He gazed at the huge expanse of lawn, at the dots of color every few feet that marked loving bouquets. As if in pain, he stepped out of his car and walked to the new graves.  
  
Blair stood before Karen and Diane's headstones and took the envelope Doan had given him from the inside pocket of his jacket. For a moment, he just held the letter, unable to face Karen's words. But, because they were her words, he finally unfolded the page and began to read....  
  
 _My Dear Blair,  
  
Lord, I hope you're old and gray right now and why do I have this urge to draw a smiley face?  
  
But honey, I suspect that you're far from old and far from gray and if you're reading this, well, I'm with my husband and probably my dear Diane as well.  
  
You and I have had so many talks about life, about our beliefs and about the innate goodness in man. We've talked about Jake and I've watched your eyes light up every time you'd share a story with me. Sharing how he'd, how do you put it, how he'd kick your butt in Monopoly or how he'd teach you to play Pokémon or talking you into trading cards by going out and dragging the streets for the cards to trade with him.  
  
You love my grandson, Blair. You love him unconditionally. And he loves you completely.  
  
And if you're reading this, then you've decided to adopt him. Thank God. Thank my dear God.  
  
My intent in writing this letter is to simply give you my blessing and my love, Blair. To encourage you to trust yourself in this and to know that you will be a great father.  
  
You have shared so much with me in these weeks and through it all, I've seen a man who is searching, who is hurting and yet, who never stopped giving to others. My God, Blair, I've been so amazed by your life, by your perseverance, by your spirit.  
  
I've never told you this, Blair, but I watched a young man admit to the world that he was a fraud. I watched his face, listened to his voice and Blair, I heard the truth.  
  
Then I met the man.  
  
My belief in the truth I'd heard that day was simply confirmed by the man. By you. I don't pretend to know it all, but from what I can put together--you and this Detective Ellison need to talk. You speak about him, and your voice sings. Your face takes on a light that warms the soul. You love him. Do something.  
  
I guess I should close this down now, so I do.  
  
By simply saying--take my grandson, love him, raise him, teach him, care for him. I trust no other to do so.  
  
God Bless You and I love you, Blair.  
  
Remember me kindly.  
  
Karen  
_  
*****  
  
Blair noticed that some of the words on the page were blurred, the ink running. He blinked and another letter blurred and ran. He lifted his hand and touched his face. Wet. Slowly he folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope.  
  
"I promise you, Karen, I will love him, I will protect him with my life, he will never want for a hug, for a touch, for affection, or for laughter. I will do all that I can to be the father he needs, the father you believe me to be."  
  
He touched her headstone, running his finger over her name. "I love you, Karen."  
  
*****  
  
Exhausted, Blair pulled the Volvo into his spot, shut down and didn't move. Couldn't move. Now that he was home, he had to face the fact that he'd done something, made a decision that affected both him and Jim--without talking it over with the man.  
  
God. Damn.  
  
He'd been skirting around issues for a week, avoidance his primary watchword. Refusing to ask the tough questions, refusing to pin down the sudden relationship between them. Words like 'our' and 'us' had been bandied about, but in fun, or without thought. But no actual talk of the future; no decisions.    
  
And now, he'd taken the first steps toward adopting Jake. He climbed from the car and headed inside, wondering how much alone time he'd have before Jim and Jake arrived.  
  
*****  
  
Blair was surprised to find that he'd beaten Jim home--it was close to four-thirty.  But then figuring that Jim would keep Jake at the park for a couple of hours followed by the store and finally picking up dinner, maybe it wasn't such a surprise after all.  
  
Blair slipped off his jacket and dropped it over the back of one of the folding chairs on his way into the kitchen for a beer.  Loosening his tie, he got a Pilsner, popped the cap and took a much-needed swallow.  
  
Temporarily satisfied, and with beer in hand, he headed out to the living room, but paused as his attention was caught by three boxes standing in the corner of the dining room.  
  
Boxes that represented all that was left of Karen Porter. Or at least all that hadn't been given to charity.  
  
Helen Webber had been fully cognizant of the specifications of Karen's will, as Blair had only today discovered. Karen had left most of her furniture, clothing and other belongings to the Salvation Army with a few items having been earmarked for beloved friends and, of course, Jake.  
  
Helen's Clean-up Brigade had done their job by packing almost everything and those boxes sat in Karen's apartment awaiting pick-up. But the items slated for Jake, mementos, photographs, jewelry, a few precious antiques and the like, had been boxed separately. It was those boxes Blair stared at now.  
  
As he focused on the cartons, an idea came to him. An idea involving the only room in Karen's apartment that had been left untouched--Jake's bedroom.  
  
Blair checked his watch. He just might have time, especially if he could rope his upstairs neighbor, John Holden, into helping. Downing his beer, he headed out and upstairs.  
  
*****  
  
"Man, we're good, Blair."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, we are." Blair smiled as he looked around the room. Then at a poke from John, they high-fived, both extremely pleased with the results of their work.  
  
Holden, a redheaded Irishman of Blair's age, clapped Blair on the back and quipped, "Well, I'm outta here. Hot date, you know."  
  
"John, wait. Are you still on those reduced hours at the docks?"  
  
John's handsome face clouded over as he answered glumly, "Oh, man, am I. And I gotta say, between you, me and the bedpost, I'm strapped. If something doesn't change soon, I'll be in real trouble."  
  
Blair led him to the kitchen. He grabbed two waters from the fridge and handing one to John, said, "What if you didn't have to pay rent? Would that keep you stable? I know how much you love your job and how much you'd hate to give it up."  
  
John nearly spit out the cold liquid at Blair's words. Swallowing, he sputtered, "Are you kidding, man? Not having to pay rent would definitely save my sorry ass, but why do you ask?"  
  
Smiling, Blair relaxed against the counter. "Well, it's like this. The Anjasmayo needs a building manager. You're good with plumbing, electricity, repairs and the like and you know everyone, so why shouldn't it be you?"  
  
"Blair, just tell me where to apply and I'm _there_ man; I'm _so_ there!"  
  
"So, consider yourself hired. I'll have Richard Doan, Karen's attorney, call you tomorrow and set everything up."  
  
"Blair, you're serious. You're really serious."  
  
Blair merely grinned wider and nodded.  
  
"Shit, you don't know what this means to me, Blair. You just have no idea." He stuck out his hand and as Blair took it, John pulled him into a fierce bear hug. When he finally let go and stood back, his green eyes were shining with tears. "You've saved my life, man. The idea of leaving this place, you know? I was so close, Blair. So close."  
  
Blair gave a small, dismissive wave and after assuring John that he'd hear from Doan tomorrow, John took off for his hot date.  
  
Thoughtfully, Blair headed back to the spare room. But the spare bedroom no longer existed; it was now Jake's room.  
  
The Aero bed was gone, having been replaced by Jake's red racecar bed with the colorful matching sheets and handmade quilt. Next to the bed, Jake's zebra nightstand and gorilla lamp. In the corner, under the window, sat Jake's small dresser and, between that and the bed, Jake's toy box. At the foot of the bed, he and John had placed Jake's small play table and the two matching chairs.  
  
They'd moved all of Jake's clothing and most now hung in the closet or sat, neatly folded, in the dresser. On the bed, Blair had laid out Jake's PJs and robe.  
  
The final touch--Jakey the wolfpup--perched on one of Jake's pillows.  
  
Jake's room.  Blair took it all in and prayed that he'd done the right thing.  
  
The sound of the front door slamming and Jake's voice alerted him that he was no longer alone. He walked into the hall and was immediately struck by a Jakeattack.  
  
"blair! we got chin-eeeze!" Two arms wrapped around his legs as Jake chattered away. "i get two eggrolls and jim said i could have a bar-bee-cued rib and gooey noodles and he said you'd teach me to use, to use," he paused frowning, and gazed up at Blair, "you know, those... sticky things." Then he made a motion with his fingers that looked surprisingly like a crab walking, which he punctuated with a clicking sound.  
  
Blair squatted and with his hands on Jake's waist, asked, "You mean chopsticks?"  
  
Face alight and eyes sparkling, Jake nodded vigorously. "yes, yes, choppystickees!"  
  
Jim entered the hall, a huge smile on his face, but as he caught Blair's gaze, his own eyes were questioning.  Blair gave Jim a small shrug, then took a deep breath and held Jake away for a moment.  
  
"Hoss, I did something--something I'm not sure you're gonna like."  
  
A small frown appeared as Jake tilted his head and looked at Blair questioningly.  
  
"what did you do?"  
  
Blair stood and taking Jake's hand, he led him to the entrance of Jake's room. "That," he waved his hand, "I did-- _that._ "  
  
Jake was looking up at Blair, but at the words, he peeked into his room. His hand slipped from Blair's as he took a cautious step inside.  Jim came up behind Blair and placed a reassuring hand on Blair's shoulder. But in spite of the comfort Jim was giving, Blair found himself tensing as Jake walked in a circle, wide blue eyes taking everything in.  
  
In a voice filled with wonder, Jake whispered, "my stuff. my stuff."  
  
He walked over and touched the bed, then the light and his toy box, then his dresser. He used both hands and pushed open the closet to find all his clothes.  
  
As he took it all in, he asked in a tremulous voice, "my room? my room?"  
  
"Your room, Jake."  
  
"my room-- _forever_?"  
  
"Your room--forever."  
  
Jake walked over and took first Blair's hand, then Jim's and led them inside. He made a show of pushing them down onto his bed as he said, "my racecar bed." He walked to his toy box, pushed open the lid and took out an armful of toys, then dropped them down beside the two men.  
  
Leaning against the bed, elbows on the mattress, he held up one toy. "this is stegy, my dino-soar."  
  
He picked up another. "this is simba and this," he added another toy, "is scar." Then he made a gruesome face and growled deep in his chest. He cuddled a small brown teddy bear, one that had definitely seen better days, and said, "this is cootie bear. he lost an eye, see? but still, he's the bestest bear. and this," he put the bear down and held up a stuffed black penguin wearing a red and white scarf, " is pengy and he waddles, see?'  
  
*****  
  
White cartons hit the trash and with a satisfied sigh, Blair turned to Jim. "I say we go for a shower, then bed, Ellison. What say you?"  
  
"I say, Jake's in bed and we need to talk."  
  
Blair's gut twisted as he held his breath for a minute, then released it slowly. "Jim, I know. I made a decision today, one that affects us both and I didn't discuss--"  
  
"Sandburg? Shut up and let me talk, okay?"  
  
Blair shut his mouth and waited for the boom to fall. Fortunately, he was saved by the bell. Or the telephone to be more precise. He reached for the phone on the wall behind Jim.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
 _"Sandburg, tell me Jim is with you."_  
  
Frowning, Blair glanced up at Jim and gave him a small look of puzzlement. "He's here, Simon, why?"  
  
 _"Thank God!"_  
  
"Simon, what the hell..."  
  
 _"The building next to Jim's just blew. All I know is that there's been a great deal of damage to 852. You two might want to get over there."_  
  
"Shit, thanks Simon, we're on our way."  
  
 _"Call me when you know anything."_  
  
"You got it, Simon."  
  
Blair hung up the phone and glanced up at his partner. "Jim, you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. I'll go check it out and I'll give you a call when I know more."  
  
He started past Blair, but Blair put out a hand to stop him. "Wait, we should go together, Jim."  
  
Shaking his head, Jim said, "Stay here, with Jake. I'll call."  
  
With that, he grabbed up his jacket and keys and was gone before Blair could move.  
  
*****  
  
As Jim drove through the streets, he found himself dreading what he'd find. But not from the perspective of loss, but rather sentiment.  
  
Within two miles of Prospect, he could see and smell the results of the explosion. He turned down dials and made his right on Adams.  
  
Flashing red and white lights and squad cars blocking corners forced him to roll down his window and flash his badge. The officer waved him on and he made his left onto Prospect.  
  
There were fire trucks, hoses stretched over the street and sidewalks, firemen moving around, cops patrolling and water everywhere.  
  
And standing there, bravely weathering the damage, was his home.  
  
The right side of the building was charred black, with large chunks of brick and mortar missing. Most of the windows had been blown out and the lobby door was gone.  
  
A few people stood on the fringe of the barricades, but he recognized none of them as his neighbors.  
  
Moving as if in slow motion, Jim pocketed his keys and, flashing his badge again, he lifted the yellow tape and stepped under. As he approached the building he'd called home for the last eight years, a voice called to him.  
  
"Jim? Jim Ellison!"  
  
He turned and found one of the firemen walking toward him. Through the grease, soot and grime, he recognized Cherry's father.  
  
"Terry."  
  
Taking off his helmet and wiping his face, Terry said, "Jim, I'm so sorry about this. I remembered that Blair told me he used to live here and when we got the call, the address rang a bell." He glanced up at the building, then back to Jim.  
  
"Give us a few more minutes and then I'll take you in. The damage is bad, but not irreparable. What floor did you live on?"  
  
"The third. Number 307."  
  
Terry whistled. "Well, we had to go through the roof, Jim and your skylight provided one access, so it's gone and your bedroom is pretty trashed, I'm afraid. But overall, the majority of damage is from smoke and water. You should be able to salvage a great deal. But no one on the second or third floors will be living here for awhile."  
  
Jim glanced over at the damaged building and thought of so many strange things. Terry's voice temporarily stalled his thoughts and he had to refocus on the man.  
  
"...so I'll take you in. Just give me a few."  
  
Jim nodded and watched as Terry jogged back to one of the trucks. Then his eyes went back to his friend, to 852.  
  
He thought of the quiet he'd found inside its walls. The peace. He thought about the day he'd purchased the french doors for Blair's room and he grinned, remembering Blair's face when he'd come home. And the whoop of joy. The utter appreciation for the simple thing Jim had done for him.  
  
The Tupperware. The extra towel rack. The cookware Blair had put away. The smells. The sights. The sounds. The clicking of Blair's laptop. Shuffling papers. Tapping pencils. Coffee at two-thirty in the morning as Blair pulled an all-nighter.  
  
The way Blair would jump over the back of the couch and land with a satisfied oomph. The grin as he'd take the remote from Jim's hand and tell him all about this show on the Discovery Channel and did he really want to watch some dumb old football game?  
  
The talks late into the night. The angry discussions about house rules. About no girlfriends or boyfriends--unless they were Jim's.  The way Blair looked the night Jim told him to leave. His face as he'd realized the boxes in the living room were filled with his stuff.  
  
Jim swiped a hand over his face and suddenly squinting through burning eyes, he looked up at the balcony.  How many great talks had occurred out there?  How many sunny days had he come home from running errands and found Blair stretched out, trying to soak up those elusive rays before the normal Cascade weather returned?  
  
Another memory surfaced; the day Jim had the larger water heater delivered. Blair had yelled 'dibs' and Jim had let him take the first shower, confident that this time there would be enough hot water.  But there hadn't been. And never would be. Not with Blair Sandburg, the hot water hog of Cascade.  
  
Of course now Jim had found the perfect answer to the hot water blues--take his shower _with_ Blair. Win-win.  
  
Jim frowned. His memories--the memories that counted--the memories of 852 Prospect, number 307, all revolved around him and Blair. There was very little of Jim alone, or of him and Carolyn.  
  
852 Prospect, number 307, the home of Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg. Until seven weeks ago. God, he thought, seven weeks ago, 852 had ceased to be a home. It had, without Blair, become a place.  
  
He could see Terry heading his way and squaring his shoulders, he met him half-way.  
  
*****  
  
"Jake? Come on, Hoss, open those eyes of yours."  
  
Jake mumbled and rolled to his side and away from Blair.  
  
"Jake, we've got to go see Jim, okay? He's gonna need our help, Hoss."  
  
A small hand rubbed sleepy eyes. "jim? help?"  
  
"Yep, Hoss, we gotta go help Jim, okay?"  
  
"kay."  
  
*****  
  
By the time Blair had Jake in his parka, mittens and bundled into the car seat, almost another hour had passed. As he headed toward Prospect, his concern grew.  
  
He knew better than anyone how much Jim's home meant to the man. It was the first thing Jim Ellison had owned, but more than that, it had been his refuge, and the idea that he might have lost it....  
  
Blair shivered in spite of the Volvo's heater blowing dry warmth into the car. Stopping at a light, he glanced over at Jake and wasn't surprised to find him sound asleep. He reached over and let nervous fingers brush the hair back from Jake's forehead, lingering on the soft, baby skin.  
  
He and Jim still had some talking to do and the gnawing in Blair's stomach told him just how very afraid he was of that conversation.  Because maybe Jim wanted to stay at 852, maybe he didn't want, couldn't-- _shit_ , he needed to shut his brain down. Cross those bridges when he came to them.  
  
But it had been Jim who'd wondered what he and Blair were now, wondered what they should call themselves. But he hadn't responded to Blair's choice of 'partners'.  Which, in a round-about way, brought Blair back to why he'd moved out in the first place.  
  
And just what the hell had he solved? Other than the fact that he and Jim were now together. Which got his brain questioning again, because maybe Jim would spend time with Blair and Jake, then go home to Prospect?  
  
Peace and quiet? Unless there was no Prospect left and then what would Jim do? He needed peace and while Blair thought the Anjasmayo would provide it in spades, well, Blair was now a father. Not much a chance for any new couple...  
  
Shit, his brain could actually move faster than his mouth and now he had a headache.  
  
Damn it, it wasn't as if he couldn't read Jim. But this being in love and suddenly being loved back tended to atrophy the brain, thus making the reading of Jim Ellison damn hard. Except in bed and hell, then Jim was a regular Thomas Brothers map book. Of course, in bed with Jim, reading was the last thing on Blair's mind, let alone an ability that still existed after mind-blowing orgasms.  
  
Blair willed his brain to shut down as he turned onto Prospect and, with a sense of dread, parked the Volvo behind Jim's truck.  
  
He could see the boxes already piled into the back and, glancing up through his windshield, he gave a low whistle. Shit. It was worse than he'd imagined.  
  
"blair?"  
  
He turned to Jake, who was sleepily rubbing his eyes with small fists.  
  
"Hey, Hoss."  
  
Jake's head swiveled around and he spotted the fire trucks and the mess just outside his window. Eyes wide, he asked, "where's jim? where is he?"  
  
*****  
  
Blair took the bundled-up Jake from the car seat and, straightening, found himself automatically scanning the people and the area for Jim. He took in the damage again and repeated the low whistle, as Jake's eyes went wide at being so up close and personal to a bright, shiny fire engine.  
  
Suddenly wide awake, he pointed excitedly, saying, "firemen, firemen, blair."  
  
"Yep, Jake, tons of firemen."  
  
The bright red hood turned in every direction possible, and seemingly at the same time, as Jake took in the organized chaos. Surprised blue eyes traveled up and, as he tried to push the hood of his parka back to widen his view, one fireman broke away and jogged toward them.  
  
"Hey Blair. Jim's inside, salvaging what he can."  
  
"How bad is it, Terry?"  
  
"Looks worse from out here. The first floor has the least amount of damage, but the second and third, well, no one will be returning any time soon."  
  
As he spoke, Terry unstrapped his helmet and noting the unabashed fascination that Jake was exhibiting toward the yellow protection, he propped it on top of the boy's head.  
  
Jake's hand came up as he giggled and touched it, adjusting it as Blair smiled at him.  
  
"Look, if you'd like me to watch Jake while you go in..."  
  
"Would you, Terry? No problem?"  
  
"None. We're done and the clean-up crew is moving in."  
  
Blair gazed over at the building that had once been his home and asked, "What happened, exactly?"  
  
"Apparently the owners of the glass shop next door leased the top two floors of the building and unbeknownst to them, their tenants were manufacturing drugs. Illegally, of course. That's why the place is crawling with cops. Your guys from Narcotics are inside now."  
  
Blair's mouth fell open. This was too good. Just too good. And somehow--prophetic. And--ironic as hell.  Eager to get to Jim, he smiled at the boy in his arms and tipped the fireman's hat down over playful blue eyes. "Jake, you remember Terry, don't you?"  
  
Giggling, Jake tried to push the hat back up as Blair pushed down. "no, yes, bla-aaair!'  
  
"This is Cherry's daddy, remember? From the park?"  
  
Jake froze and peeked at Terry from under the fireman's hat. "daddy? cherry's daddy?"  
  
"Yep, Cherry's daddy. Will you stay with him a moment while I go up and find Jim?"  
  
Jake looked at Terry, then at Blair, scrunching his face up in thought. Finally he nodded and held out willing arms. Terry took him and smiling, said, "I'll take him over and show him our rig. Go on up, Blair."  
  
Making sure Jake was comfortable being left with Terry and noting the bright, round eyes at the mention of seeing the fire truck, Blair nodded and headed over to the lobby of 852.  
  
He made his way upstairs, through the mess, the water and the crumbling walls to finally stop at the door to 307. It was open, or rather, off and he could hear Jim moving about.  
  
Sloshing through the still inches deep water, he stepped inside.  
  
Jim was standing in front of the stereo, sorting through CDs and as Blair stepped in, Jim spoke without turning around.  
  
"I told you I'd call." His voice was low and even, betraying nothing and for some reason, Blair found himself bristling.  
  
"Gee, so you did, asshole. Ever think that I lived here too, that I'd be interested in what happened? Or that I'd need to be with you?"  
  
A disk fell from Jim's fingers as he turned to face Blair. "Asshole? Did you just call me an asshole?"  
  
"Yeah. What of it? This," he waved his arm around aimlessly, "isn't just about you. This was home to me for three years."  
  
"And you're the one who left this," he matched Blair's angry, aimless wave with his own, "or don't you remember that small fact?"  
  
"God damn it, Jim! You know why I left. For God's sake, I nearly ruin you and yet you let me stay? And you make me your partner? Shit, you know what people would think. They'd figure out that either I was lying at the press conference or we were sleeping together. And neither conclusion could you afford. I had to leave. And why in the hell is this coming up now?"  
  
Jim's lips quivered as he tried to suppress the sudden smile at the ridiculousness of their situation. Because, of course, Blair had lied and they _were_ sleeping together. His expression softened as he looked across the room at Blair.  
  
Impatient, Blair's arms waved about as he asked again, "Well? Why now?"  
  
Barely containing his smile, Jim said, "Because you called me an asshole?"  
  
Blair exhaled loudly, then his own lips twitched. "I calls 'em as I sees 'em, asshole."  
  
Jim took two long strides and was standing in front of Blair, gazing down into smiling, slightly wicked sapphire blue eyes.  
  
"I know why you moved out, okay? Don't agree with it, don't care what others think, but I was too damn stupid to understand what it would mean if you actually left. What it would mean to me. Now I know. And as far as not letting you come here tonight, well, damn it, Chief, I didn't want you to see this, okay? Believe it or not, I do know what this place meant to you."  
  
Blair gazed around him, at the place that had sheltered him for three years. As his eyes took in the kitchen, the french doors, the living room, the stairs and the balcony, he realized that Jim almost understood what 852 Prospect had come to signify. What having a real home had done for Blair Sandburg. But Jim didn't quite get it yet.  
  
Blair reached out with both hands, fingers wrapping themselves around the edges of Jim's jacket. Tightening his hold, he pulled the larger body into his and whispered, "This place wasn't home-- _you_ were."  
  
Jim's pale blue eyes widened at Blair's words, words that mirrored his own earlier thoughts. He gently cupped the strong, beautiful face as he said in a voice husky and rich with emotion, "Chief, this was home to me for the exact length of time that you were here."  
  
Eyes that had been swimming with the urgent need for Jim to understand, now darkened in amazement. Blair blinked, then blinked again before saying in a voice filled with awe, "oh."  
  
Jim let his lips graze over Blair's, saying softly, "I'm not as upset by all of this as some would think I should be. Don't you know that, Chief?"  
  
Blair's answer was to nod while nibbling at Jim's bottom lip. Groaning at the delicious feel of Blair nibbles, he went on. "Hopefully, I haven't lost anything of... sentimental value," Blair's hand dropped down and began to rub deliciously against Jim's groin, causing Jim's voice to rise suddenly with one harsh breath, "and it appears that I haven't."  
  
Blair's tongue swiped over Jim's entire mouth, causing Jim's voice to catch again before he continued.  
  
"Because," he took a deep breath, "I have you. Wouldn't want to lose that home. Been there once, don't want to go there again."  
  
Blair brought his hand up and ran one knuckle over Jim's cheek and grinning, said, "You are a romantic devil, Ellison. I do believe I've just been complimented."  
  
With Blair's hand no longer paying attention to his groin, Jim was able to think again. "You have. Now, are you going to help me with all this, or stand around yapping?"  
  
"Yapping? I thought I was kissing, rubbing and nibbling."  
  
"And yapping."  
  
"Yap, yap."  
  
"And where the hell is Jake?"  
  
"Downstairs with Terry. Seeing the fire engines and being spoiled rotten by a bunch of firemen, no doubt."  
  
With a kiss and a quick grope of Blair's rear, Jim shot back, "No doubt. So dig in. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can get out of here."  
  
*****  
  
They were done and there were two boxes left to take downstairs. As Jim stood in the middle of the living room, giving everything one last look, Blair walked over to the shattered balcony windows and, careful of the glass, stepped outside. Jim followed and together they leaned on the balcony rail, gazing out at their city.  
  
"We've had good conversations, standing out here."  
  
Jim nodded as pale blue eyes took in the ocean, the skyline and the world that was his city. "Yep. Lots of arguments too."  
  
"Nah, we never argued. Discussed, but never argued."  
  
"Okay, we discussed. Hotly. Fervently. Heatedly."  
  
"But we always made up."  
  
"Made up, Sandburg? No, _now_ we'll make up."  
  
"Oooh, good point. Let's argue tonight so we can make up, okay?"  
  
"What should we argue about?"  
  
"Um, how about who is usually right?"  
  
"No contest, Sandburg, you know that--"  
  
"I'm always right. Yeah, yeah, I know. But for the sake of making up, we'll pretend that you think you're right, okay?"  
  
"Sandburg, you're hopeless."  
  
"Yep, hopelessly devoted to you."  
  
Jim turned his back on his city to stare down at the man by his side. "I can't believe you just said that. How long have you been waiting to use that line?"  
  
Waving an arm expansively, Blair grinned and said, "Forever man, forever."  
  
*****  
  
Blair put the box into the back of the truck and joined Terry, who was standing next to the Volvo. Jake was perched on the hood of the car and as Blair came toward him, arms were held out demandingly. Blair responded by taking the boy and hugging him fiercely as he said to Terry, "Thanks for watching squirt here. We're done and Jim's on his way down with the last box."  
  
"He find everything okay? Saved some stuff?"  
  
"What he needed. yeah. Most of his clothes have to be cleaned so we packed them, along with books, CDs, stuff like that."  
  
"Well then, I'll leave you to it. We're ready to pull out. Catch you at the park later in the week, all right?"  
  
"Absolutely. Jake, say good-night to Terry."  
  
"goodnightterrry."  
  
Cherry's father laughed boisterously and bopped Jake on top of his hood, then jogged back to his company.  
  
Blair leaned against the car, one arm around the boy as Jake said, "he's cherry's daddy."  
  
"That's right, he is."  
  
"cherry has a daddy."  
  
Blair searched the innocent face as he answered, "Yes, Cherry has a daddy, Jake."  
  
Jake nodded as if the answer to all the world's problems had just been handed him. He leaned into Blair and asked, "jim okay?"  
  
"He's fine, Jake. After all, he has us, doesn't he?"  
  
Jake gave a firm nod, then asked, "your bedroom gone?"  
  
"Nope. It's a little damaged and will need some repairs and a good cleaning, but that's all.  
  
Small fingers played with the buttons on Blair's jacket as Jake quizzed, "poker there anymore?"  
  
"Don't think so, Hoss. Poker at our place from now on."  
  
Jake's head shot up and a satisfied grin spread across baby face. "our place--yeah!" And his hand shot up in the air as he whooped.  
  
Spotting Jim over the blond head, Blair said, "Hey, here he comes, welp."  
  
Ellison set the box he was carrying down on the hood and announced, "Well, looks like we're done." He reached over and tugged at Jake's hood as he added, "Hey, Hoss, fancy meeting you here."  
  
With a giggle, Jake pushed Jim's hand away, then grabbed it back and held on.  
  
As Blair watched the two, he was struck by another wild sense of déjà vu. With a sudden grin, he said, "You know, I can't believe you were living next door to a drug lab and didn't know it. Jeesh, Jim, you're a cop."  
  
Eyes fixed on Jake and the finger games they were playing, Jim snorted, then in indignation, said, "Hey, I haven't exactly been living here, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses. How did you miss the strange noises in the middle of the night? What, you thought the sounds were rodents maybe? Or the plumbing?"  
  
Finally catching on, Jim glanced up at 852 and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a place to stay for awhile."  
  
Blair appeared to consider that, then, "Um, maybe a hotel? Or a hostel?"  
  
"I was thinking... more along the lines of--"  
  
Blair held up his hands, eyes dancing merrily in the dark. "Oh no, I know what you're thinking, man, and no way. You'll find someplace to stay."  
  
"Ah, come on, Sandburg, please, please, please?" He put on his best imitation Blair pout. "Just for a little while? I won't be any problem. I'm neat and already housebroken."  
  
Jake looked from one to the other, unsure of what was going on, but seeing the laughter in each man, he settled into Jim's arms to watch and enjoy.  
  
"I don't know, Jim. I mean, I'm a private kind of guy, you know?"  
  
"Just one week, man, okay? Just one week."  
  
Blair hefted the box and headed toward Jim's truck. As he walked, he tossed back his final salvo.  
  
"I'm already starting to regret this, Ellison."  
  
*****  
  
"He's asleep?"  
  
"You have to ask? Once I turned on the engine, he was gone. Moving indoors did nothing to wake him. Besides, it's been an eventful night. You call Simon? Bring him up to speed?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Jim was sitting on the edge of the bed, dirty clothes in a heap on the floor. As Blair came in, he stripped off his shirt and added it to Jim's pile. He did a little jig and had his jeans off, which he promptly dropped on top of his shirt. As the jeans floated into a neat mound, Blair froze. "Uh, Jim?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You dumped your clothes in the middle of the floor."  
  
"Um, yep."  
  
"You don't do that."  
  
"I do now."  
  
Nonplussed, Blair could only splutter.  
  
Glancing up at his partner, Jim's innocent eyes blinked. "What's the matter, Chief?"  
  
Squinting, Blair cocked his head. Then, "You bastard."  
  
Jim grinned.  
  
Blair pounced.  
  
Jim was thrown back as Blair landed against him and, laughing, he tried to grab on to the writhing body. But Blair was too quick.  
  
"You stinker." Hands captured Jim's wrists and held them down as Blair's mouth latched onto his neck.  
  
Arching his head back, Jim groaned out, "Chief, come on, god, you play dirty."  
  
Blair lifted his head from the task of eating Jim's neck and pointedly said, "No, that would be the middle of our bedroom floor. It would appear that Oscar and Felix have traded personalities."  
  
"'Our.' Sounds good, Chief. Is this a done deal? Or am I out in one week?"  
  
Blair released one of Jim's hands and immediately placed his over Jim's burgeoning erection. Sliding his fingers inside Jim's boxers and wrapping them around the pulsing cock, he warned, "Your residency here depends solely on your performance, Detective."  
  
"Ah god, why didn't I think of that when you moved in with me?"  
  
Blair's hand was sliding up and down, squeezing gently, thumb doing wonders for Jim and he almost missed Blair's answer.  
  
"Babe," warm, soft breath caressed Jim's cheek, "If my staying with you had been dependant on my performance," Blair punctuated the word with a sudden thrust of his own erect cock into Jim's, "I'd have never spent a single night downstairs and you'd be dead today."  
  
Jim's eyes glittered darkly as he slid his hand into Blair's hair. "I'd die in your arms gladly, Chief."  
  
Blair stilled as Jim's fingers moved over his scalp. He pressed his lips against Jim's and speaking into them, commanded, "No, you _live_ in my arms, you understand? You _live_ in my arms."  
  
"Forever, Chief, forever."  
  
*****  
  
Their breathing slowed as the sweat dried cold on their skins. But neither man moved.  
  
"I know this will get to be old hat eventually, but right now? Fuck, you're good."  
  
Blair chuckled and somehow managed to turn onto his side. "I suspect that someday this will be downright boring, Jim. Sometime around the year 2050. Because I'm that good."  
  
"Don't forget modest."  
  
"And modest. I'm very modest. And handsome. But no matter how good I am, or how handsome, I can't seem to," he glanced down at Jim's feet, "knock your socks off, Ellison."  
  
Jim lifted his head to gaze down his naked body and his--white socked feet.  
  
"Well, I'll be damned. Year 2050 my ass. Until you can knock my socks off, you're stuck with me."  
  
"Promises, promises." He started tracing a pattern on Jim's chest as Jim's eyes closed, a small smile on his face.  
  
"I did something today, Jim. We haven't had the opportunity to discuss it yet, drug labs exploding and all."  
  
Jim turned his head and opened his eyes. He said nothing, just gazed at Blair, patient and loving.  
  
"That's it, make it hard on me. Lie there all--all..."  
  
"All what?"  
  
"All loving and all." He dropped onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, said, "I signed the papers to adopt Jake and I never asked you. Okay?"  
  
"You don't think I figured that out when we got home and you showed Jake his bedroom?"  
  
"Yeah, but I signed them, Jim. Karen made me his legal guardian, but I want him to be mine. Ours."  
  
"So do I. I'd have been disappointed if you'd done anything else."  
  
Frowning, Blair's eyes locked with Jim's. "So you're all right with," he waved his arm, "this?"  
  
"I'm very all right with it, Sandburg. Do you know what Anjasmayo means? Do you know its origins?"  
  
Blair frowned and shook his head. "It sounded familiar to me, and I always meant to ask Karen, but never--"  
  
"It's Quechua, Blair. It means, Blue River. Kind of... cosmic, don't you think? So yes, I'm very all right with you, me, Jake, our new home, with the understanding that I keep performing of course. Oh yeah, I'm fine with it all."  
  
Blair took in the fact that the building he'd moved into was named in Quechua. Cosmic might be an understatement. Grinning, he asked, "Wanna take a shower?"  
  
"Shower and you tell me everything, check?"  
  
"Check."  
  
*****  
  
Tuesday slipped by slowly with Cascade providing a cold, rainy fall day. The activity of the prior night ensured a late rise for all, including Jake.  
  
Blair was actually the first to wake. He carefully wiggled out from under Jim's arms and, after finishing in the bathroom, slipped into daytime sweats and soft, warm gray socks. He padded across the hall to check on Jake and found the boy sound asleep, arms wrapped snugly around wolfpup. Smiling, he went out into the living room and started the fire, then into the kitchen to put on coffee. Once the rich odor of plain old, everyday Columbian filled the kitchen, it didn't take Jim long to join him.  
  
"Coffee, I smell coffee. Give."  
  
Chuckling, Blair put a hand against the chest that was pressed against him as Jim looked over his head at the percolating java. "Not so fast, Jim. It's not ready so why don't you try this to tide you over."  
  
Blair reached up and planted one on his partner who immediately responded by pulling the willing body even closer. The kiss changed to smaller hit and runs, both men laughing softly.  
  
"Oh, yeah, this will hold me until I get co-ffffeee."  
  
"You've been around Jake too long, my man. Way too long."  
  
"nuh, uh."  
  
Both men whirled around to find Jake standing in the doorway, scratching his flannel rear-end with one hand while holding onto wolfpup with the other.  
  
Jim left one arm around Blair as they faced the boy and smiling, said, "So you don't think I've been around you too long, Hoss?"  
  
Jake shook a sleepy head and gave them both a shy smile. "not long 'nuff." His eyes flicked easily from one man to the other, the gaze simple in its question. Seeing only acceptance, he grinned broadly and launched himself at the two. Somehow they caught him and he ended up in their arms, his own around both their necks.  
  
"So what are we having for brekkie, young sir," Blair asked, smiling.  
  
Giving the question all the attention and thought it deserved, he scrunched up his face, then pronounced, "frenchy toasty!"  
  
Blair high-fived him, saying, "I'm down with that! And guess who makes the best frenchy toasty in the world?"  
  
"who?"  
  
Blair patted Jim on the back, his grin as broad as Jake's.  
  
*****  
  
Epilogue  
  
Jim was sound asleep on the couch, Jake was playing happily in his room and Blair was bored.  He half considered waking Jim and indulging in a little covert hanky-panky, but discarded that when he realized how silent Jake had gone. He put the book responsible for his boredom down on the table and headed into Jake's room.  
  
He half expected Jake to have fallen asleep on the floor but instead found him in the corner, wedged between his toy box and the bed, holding a small stuffed parrot and sobbing quietly.  
  
Blair was beside him in an instant.  
  
"Jake, honey, what is it?" He wanted desperately to take the boy into his arms, but Jake was holding tightly onto the parrot, knees drawn up to his chest. He lifted his tear-streaked face to Blair and whispered, "gammy, i can't remember gammy."  
  
"Ah, God." Blair did fold Jake into his arms, parrot, knees and all. Shifting around so that his back rested against the wall, he held Jake close, rocking him back and forth as he soothed and crooned softly.  
  
Blair's cheek rested on Jake's hair as he drew a finger down the furry and colorful beak of the parrot. "Did Gammy give this to you, welp?"  
  
Soft curls brushed his face as Jake nodded sadly. "Do you remember that day?" Jake nodded again. "I wish I'd been there. Can you tell me about it?"  
  
Small fingers petted the bird as Jake spoke, haltingly at first, but as the day came back to him, his words almost tumbled over each other.  
  
*****  
  
In the living room, Jim stirred and woke.  
  
Surprised to find himself alone, he focused his hearing and frowned as he quickly stood and headed to Jake's room. He froze at the door.  
  
*****  
  
"sea world... gammy took me to sea world."  
  
"And what did you see? Did you watch the whales?"  
  
"whales dove and flew straight up," his hand shot upward, then down, "and landed with a big whooosh and i got wet and gammy got wet!"  
  
"Bet she looked funny, all wet like that, eh?"  
  
Jake nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "funny gammy, funny gammy."  
  
"What else did you see?"  
  
"i got to pet the dofins, and saw bee-u-tiful fishies, ko-al-as and they blinked at me..."  
  
"Did they blink for Gammy too?"  
  
"yes, they blinked for gammy and they smiled at us too and then we saw people swimming with the fishies and i saw a biiiiig ray and eeeels and i got a tee shirt and a funny hat with a diving sha-mu on the top and, and on the way out,"  
  
Jake held up the parrot, "he was sitting there and he called me and gammy bought him for me and he was so glad to go home with me and he kissed gammy!"  
  
"Did she smile when parrot kissed her?"  
  
Jake giggled at the memory. "he kissed her and so did i!"  
  
"How did she look when you kissed her, welp?"  
  
"so happy and she hugged me and carried me and parrot to the car."  
  
"See, you do remember Gammy, don't you?"  
  
Jake turned to gaze up at Blair, eyes wide. "i do, i do!"  
  
Blair tapped Jake's temple lovingly. "Jake, she's here, always. You just have to decide what you want to remember, and she'll be there waiting. Want to try again?"  
  
As Jake nodded eagerly, Jim came all the way into the room and sat down quietly on the edge of the bed. At a look from Blair, he shook his head and smiled his intent that they should go on.  
  
"Okay, best memory ever?"  
  
"i got a cold," Jake pinched his nose, "in my node," giggling, he released it, "and gammy rocked me and sang and gave me hot lemon and honey water."  
  
Jake gazed up at Blair and with the parrot hugged to his chest, said in a voice filled with wonder, "and she never left me. and i were all sick but she stayed--she stayed. but now, now she didn't." His eyes welled up again, but Blair brushed a kiss over his cheek and said, "She hasn't left you, Jake. She's still here. Isn't she?"  
  
"did she want to leave me?"  
  
"No, Jake, she didn't. Anymore than Bluey did. She loved you more than anything on this earth, Jake."  
  
The blond head rested against Blair's shoulder, the tear sliding silently down.  
  
"Jake, it's time for another memory. Do you remember the first joke you told Gammy?" Blair knew this would be easy because the first joke had been told only a few weeks ago.  
  
Guffawing, Jake rolled back, his legs kicking out in his excitement. "i member, i member, wanna hear it, daddy?"  
  
Blair's fingers had been carding through Jake's curls but at daddy, he stopped, fingers frozen in place. He felt the hot liquid behind his eyes and blinked furiously, then closed them and in a voice choked with emotion, said, "Yes, I want to hear it, Jake."  
  
Tears forgotten and with a huge grin, Jake held up wolfpup and said, "what did jakey say when he was as-ked if he wanted de-ssert?"  
  
"I don't know, Jake. What did wolfpup say when asked if he wanted dessert?"  
  
"no thanks, i'm stuffted!"  
  
Jake's giggles rang clear and pure as he threw back his head and kicked his legs. Blair, released from depth of emotion, let his own deep laugh burst forth and Jim, holding his laughter in check, took in the wonder below him.  
  
He felt his own tears threaten at the beauty of the sight, of Blair holding Jake, laughing freely and Jake, loved and safe and happy and remembering the woman who'd made it all possible.  
  
Finally Jake's laughter slowed and his eyes rested on Blair's face. He put his arm around Blair's neck and pulled himself up close. Eyes fastened on Blair's, he said, "i love you daddy." Then he planted a huge, wet, slobbering kiss on Blair's cheek.  
  
Jim slipped down beside the two and leaning in, said, "Hey, Hoss, don't I get a kiss too?"  
  
One small arm wrapped itself around Jim and pulled him even closer, so that all three heads were touching. "you get a kiss from me _and_ jakey!"  
  
Jim became the proud recipient of the loudest, wettest raspberries, planted right in the middle of his cheek.  
  
*****  
  
"So I've put the process into motion and if all goes well, Jake will be ours."  
  
Simon sat back and regarded Sandburg, one half of his best team, before brown eyes traveled to the man seated next to him, the other half of the team. He should have known that Wednesday was going too well. And leave it to Sandburg to make the change, to take him from normal to the Twilight Zone in two seconds flat.  
  
Two men. Different as night and day and so much alike, it sometimes spooked him. And in love. And now--parents. What a difference three years and a few months make. And, oddly enough, he was happy for Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg.  
  
Shit. Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg--together, as in _together_. He shook his head, his mind deeply entrenched in his musings.  
  
"Simon, you have a problem with this?"  
  
Jim's words didn't rouse Simon, but the tone did. Cold and daring him to have a problem.  
  
"No, Detective, I don't have a problem with this. Should I?" Simon challenged.  
  
Blair put out a hand and rested it on Jim's arm, quietly controlling him. He then asked, "No Simon. You shouldn't have a problem, but do _we_?"  
  
Banks understood what Blair was asking and he leaned forward to give them the most honest answer he could.  
  
"It won't be easy, Sandburg, and I suspect you know that. But you have the support of Major Crime, I can guarantee you that. And you have my support."  
  
His gaze bore into both men as he continued. "You aren't the first gay couple to adopt within the department and it will be awhile before everyone realizes that you two _are_ a couple, but do I really have to tell you what you can expect?"  
  
Jim relaxed under the gentle pressure of Blair's hand, burning its message into him and at Simon's question, he nodded to Blair, his eyes telling Blair to answer. Blair gave a half grin and turned to Simon.  
  
"We know, Simon. And we've talked about it. And ultimately, " he gave Jim a full tilt smile, "we have faith. We'll handle anything that comes along because we _do_ know we have your support and the support of Major Crime."  
  
Simon's fingers drummed a lazy rhythm on the top of his desk as he absorbed Blair's words. Finally, he sat back, stuck an unlit cigar in his mouth and asked, "So, when do you plan on hosting the Friday night poker game?"  
  
*****  
  
Naomi Sandburg sat down at the antique desk and hit the power on her laptop. As she waited, she pondered the idea of visiting Blair for Thanksgiving. She was uncertain of her welcome and worried about how she might be accepted by Jim.  
  
She gazed at the screen and went into her email program. She scanned the list and paused at the addy:  
  
[bs@hotmail.com](mailto:bs@hotmail.com)  
  
Blair.  
  
She clicked on the addy and read:  
  
 _To:[flwrchld@yahoo.com](mailto:flwrchld@yahoo.com)  
From: [bs@hotmail.com](mailto:bs@hotmail.com)  
cc:  
Subject: Guess what?  
  
You're a grandmother and everything's Jake.  
_

 

  
  
The End

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Death of an original character. 
> 
> CAVEAT: This was written because I love Gillian Middleton's Jamie series and my own biological clock was fast running out of juice. This also originated in another form on Senad due to my own challenge about writing a snippet that put J/B 10 years in the future. My snippet created several requests to bring Jake back. For all of you--and especially welp--here he is. I hope you love him as much as I do. :))


End file.
